The Real Dad Podcast
Each week, these four fathers cover a wide range of "Dad" related topics, from the joys of watching your child grow up to the challenges of balancing work and family life. With their unique blend of humor and authenticity, Dave, Joey, Brian, and Mark provide a refreshing perspective on what it means to be a dad in today's world.
Tune in for the laughs, stay for the heartfelt conversations about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. Whether you're a seasoned dad or a soon-to-be father, "The Real Dad Podcast" is the perfect place to connect with other dads and get the support you need.
Join us on this journey of fatherhood, and subscribe to "The Real Dad Podcast" today!
The Real Dad Podcast
The Art of Resilience in Sports and Parenting
What does it mean to truly support your child in developing resilience? In this heartfelt episode, we navigate the complex terrain of youth sports, parenting challenges, and teaching our children to bounce back from disappointment.
Dave shares his experience taking his 11-year-old daughter shopping for her first hockey equipment, revealing both excitement and anxiety about how she'll handle the inevitable frustration of not being immediately good at something new. The conversation explores the substantial investment parents make in youth sports – not just financially, but emotionally – as we wonder if our children will connect with the activities we introduce them to.
A breakthrough moment comes when Joey reveals his son, who typically avoids activities he's not immediately good at, unexpectedly signed up for cross-country running at school. This sparks a deeper discussion about how we can foster resilience in our children while acknowledging we're still working on it ourselves.
The most powerful revelation emerges when we realize the qualities we desperately want our children to develop – discipline, resilience, confidence – are often the very same qualities we struggle with in our own lives. "If you want your kids to have these qualities," Joey observes, "what's stopping you from developing them in yourself?" This question hits home, challenging us to consider that perhaps the most effective parenting happens not through our words but through our example.
We also celebrate listener milestones, from welcoming newborns to supporting premature babies through extended hospital stays, offering encouragement and perspective to parents on different parts of the journey.
What lessons are your children learning from watching you, not from listening to you? Join us for this honest exploration of parenthood, resilience, and the power of leading by example.
Back to Murphy. Being in a sport where it's like, how do you talk a kid through that? Where it's like, yeah, you can choose to be sad about this loss.
Speaker 2:or you can be sad that you're losing, or you can rally your team, you can find a motivation and you can push harder Murph's starting to come out to a few of our slow pitch games, where it's like that is definitely something in myself that I've been trying to get better at Is encouraging the people around me and being that person because I find that in sport I don't necessarily feel the lows and the highs because of who I am.
Speaker 1:You're trying to tell me you don't feel like a million bucks when you step up to the plate and smash a home run over the fence.
Speaker 3:It's like a no doubter.
Speaker 2:Listen, does the mailman celebrate when he drops off your mail?
Speaker 1:welcome to the real dad podcast. I'm dave and I am a pittsburgh steelers fan.
Speaker 2:Hi I'm joey and I'm a toronto Maple Leafs fan because I don't have a football team.
Speaker 4:Hi, I'm Brian and I also am a Toronto Maple Leafs fan.
Speaker 3:That was terrible, could have said Blue Jays.
Speaker 4:So jump the sports.
Speaker 1:I like watching football.
Speaker 2:That's about it. Yeah, fair, actually, this season I am a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, pittsburgh steelers steelers fan yeah, you are the bet that we made. Tell me about it so a buddy of ours, we were at a cottage, the infamous, uh, our buddy, brandon's cottage weekend. Uh, maybe there were drinks involved, but I I say that, but I'm pretty sure we were all probably first thing in the morning um, but there was discussion going on about football.
Speaker 2:Dave here steelers fan and our other buddy, johnny, is a big steelers fan as well. They were talking about how they're gonna go all the way this year. I said absolutely not, because I still don't think they are gonna go all the way. There's too many teams that are far better in my opinion. But he said if they do win, will I get a tattoo on my body if the steelers win the super bowl this year? So I said, of course. So we shook on it. And uh, davey said he would follow up as well. Shook on it. So both dave and I will be getting a steelers tattoo of the steelers theme of our buddy johnny on our bodies so if they win the cup, our buddy johnny is a magnificent human being.
Speaker 1:He is uh, and he was standing up there. We were all at this like outdoor patio table and we were hanging out. We might have even been playing euchre, yep, and he was just standing there. I don't know if it was the way the sun was hitting him. His beard is just like a thick majestic viking beard.
Speaker 1:It's like viking meets lumberjack he's like a grily man but such a cuddly teddy bear. I know that from the cuddles Soft and hard. But he was looking so good so we snapped a picture of him in that moment and that is the picture that will get tattooed onto Joey and I with Steelers theme If the Steelers win the Super Bowl.
Speaker 2:Joey, if you're a Patreon, we might actually just throw that picture in there so you can see what's going on. That's what I was gonna say.
Speaker 1:That was a good idea so neither of you guys have a football team. How come?
Speaker 2:I had one, but it was mainly just like almost just peer pressure of like wanting to pick one. Okay, because I played a lot of uh, nfl blitz on n64 growing up, so I would always be the denver broncos, okay. But then, as we were going to choose teams, I was like they're not very good, so then I'd pick the chargers because that was the other team that I like to watch. Okay, now the chargers have now left. They're in la, it's a whole thing, right? Um, so I don't actually have them because we never followed one in my house. My dad was a cfl fan.
Speaker 1:Moment of silence for the cfl um he's a bit of a buffalo bills fan. He's a bit of a buffalo, but again.
Speaker 2:He was a bills fan before jake allen got there, right? So it's like you don't want to be a buffalo bills fan before jake allen got there there's a couple of your good years with doug flutie back in the day but through our late teenagehood and 20s, buffalo bills were not a team just trash.
Speaker 2:Yeah, similar to brian, I enjoy watching it. I would obviously love to sit down on a sunday and just crush football. It's one of my favorite sports to watch because there's a lot going on, it's very dynamic, but just never settled on a team when I was a kid, it was all about like I didn't have teams.
Speaker 4:I had like hats that I liked.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so like there was.
Speaker 4:There was a day when I had like a boston red socks because it was like a b for brian I mean that's fair. And then I liked the georgetown hoyas yes, they were very popular, yeah I had like a big jacket of theirs and hat, yeah, and then, but it was like the color scheme, because it's like a blue and gray nice, which is kind of like the dallas cowboys which I also had like some of their gear, because I like the color scheme, yeah.
Speaker 4:So I was basically like a girl like uh sorry, picking the team based on the apparel I got you sorry, that's super sexist uh you know what I'm saying um, so I, yeah, I didn't have a team but and my dad didn't have a team either, so it wasn't like there was like a family connection to any anything. So, uh, it's never happened for me, but I did enjoy, like certain teams, like I used to love watching the green bay packers when, uh, when brett farve was there. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
Speaker 2:So like I have good memories of nfl, but it was all just about enjoying the spectacle, okay it can feel like a bit of a poser when you're this late in life trying to pick a team right oh, like I haven't been a fan since a kid reason so like, yeah, why am I gonna lock in a team? So that if you're gonna pick a team, you're gonna pick a good team who's currently good and has a chance to go far. So like okay, now you're just a bandwagon jumper.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but you also know like we're Leafs fans, all right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's why you need a team.
Speaker 4:There's so much pain involved when I'd rather just enjoy the league. Nfl is stress free for me, and I love it, that is a good point, but I will challenge that in that.
Speaker 1:So the reason I became a pittsburgh steelers fan is we. I wanted my wife to be able to watch sports with me. She was done with the leafs, that's fair. Too many seasons of losing and disappointment. She's like I am not watching hockey until they're a good team again. She's like I don't care about it. You let me know when things are going to be better. And then she still watched me disappointed year after year after year, so you're still waiting.
Speaker 3:So we were like okay, well, she's like I would watch.
Speaker 4:Steelers though.
Speaker 1:I would watch football is what she said. She's like I'd love watching football. I'd watch football on a Sunday with you, no problem. So then I was she's like but I want a team to cheer for. What team will we cheer for? You pick the team. Okay, now, I am a big defensive person. I did not know a lot about the nfl before picking the steelers, other than I knew that they were a defense first team. Yep, they were gritty, they would run the ball. Strong defense is how they would win games. So I was like okay, I love watching defense, let's watch the steelers. Love the black and gold too. Look, it's a nice little color combo there, and Pittsburgh is somewhat close, so it is drivable to if we want to ever go to game. Haven't been there yet. So we picked the team we start watching. That year the Steelers won the Superbowl.
Speaker 3:I remember it.
Speaker 2:And we have become diehard fans ever since.
Speaker 1:Like I had no idea what I was choosing when I chose them like, yeah, what the whole legacy behind them is, but they were so much fun to watch at the time they had troy palomalu who was probably the best small safety to play the game. He would jump the line, he would intercept, like everything. So, like the defensive action was there for me, my wife bought into it. We got to celebrate a super bowl. It was incredible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we have been steelers fans ever since and that's why I think for me, football I love being.
Speaker 3:Uh, I'm gonna call sidecar sport, okay I love just being in people's sidecars I like the guys in the sidecar for those steelers wins. It was the best, like I remember sitting and watching those.
Speaker 2:We had chili, it was great. And then other years where they don't do well, I just jump in somebody else's sidecar and I can watch our buddy mark, who's a big philly fan mark mark, you guys know him, he hasn't been here in a while, so I forgot for a moment that he was on the podcast. Uh, but yes, being an eagles fan, like they recently won, so you get to enjoy that with them. Yeah, so I think that's what football has just become for me I just enjoy the sport and I enjoy when other people get no potential disappointment.
Speaker 2:I'm on the same page every year except for kc, because I haven't found a kc fan yet where we are and unfortunately they're dynasty right now. Um, but other than that, every other team that has won. I found a buddy who's excited for the win and you just get to go along for the ride. Yeah, it's fun, I love it.
Speaker 1:So we just got to witness a wonderful win on the weekend.
Speaker 4:Yes, that was a good win for you.
Speaker 1:We convinced the kids to watch the touchdown. Treat still worked. Well, yeah, my son was being a little dick. He didn't want to watch. He was being bored and like, oh this is so boring, I want to go do something else. I'm like well, if you're not in the room watching, then you don't get a treat. That's fair. So he left a bit and he was always kind of like side of the room watching. He's like seeing us get close and then he comes in to sit down for a touchdown.
Speaker 4:Oh, look at that.
Speaker 1:I happen, low scoring game. No, we got a lot of treats, yeah, um, especially in the second half, he started to sit down and they they got like back-to-back touchdowns and I'm like, all right, now you're not moving like you're good luck here.
Speaker 3:Things are going well. This probably isn't good parenting. I shouldn't put this on you, but I'm doing it, but I'm good. Do not change positions on the couch.
Speaker 4:Right now we're locked in kids speaking of that, dave's not allowed to watch any more Blue Jays games we are big. Jays fans here, and Dave seems to turn on the television every time the other team hits a home run.
Speaker 1:It is so embarrassing. So we have a text group for it and everything. And that last game when I messaged that I literally we were sitting at the like the kitchen table, we had finished dinner and I opened the phone to watch the game and I pulled it up on my phone the second it loaded. I witnessed john carlos didn't come on, hit a home.
Speaker 3:Literally the screen comes up, his swing hits the ball and it's gone, and I immediately turned it off and then the jays it was so bad so I think the idea is there.
Speaker 2:You need to look at the score at first, see if the jays are up to bat right and you can turn it on and see if you're if it'll work both ways, you'll turn it on.
Speaker 1:The jays will hit over I think I'm a jason 30 guy now.
Speaker 4:I'm just gonna be watching the game afterwards, you gotta get some redemption before the playoffs, because you have to watch the playoffs. I don't know if you guys will let me.
Speaker 3:I don't know if I'll be allowed in. Don't believe in bad luck, but it's bad luck oh well, well, we're on the sports train, okay.
Speaker 1:Uh, this weekend took my daughter to get all of her hockey equipment right. Um, she's gonna be starting hockey this year, her very first year in it. She's a little older starting into it, yeah. So I'm nervous because I know like in the younger leagues at least when I was starting, there was like a two minute buzzer. It wasn't change on the fly or changing at whistles and stuff, so you had like the buzzer would go and the next shift would change, right. But I doubt that it's going to be at that now because she's turning 11.
Speaker 1:So like, right, you're into, she's older so there's probably going to be some girls that are pretty good. I'm hoping that there's some other girls that are learning it for the first time too.
Speaker 2:I think there'll be a mix because of where we live demographically, there's a lot of people because even uh ian, my brother-in-law on the other side, like his sons, got into hockey in the last two years. Okay, and they're similar to our age and that's boys league, which, in my opinion, would be more competitive. I think you do have a lot more boys that get into hockey where we are, so, and they had that, where they're okay, just getting into it. They didn't really have their skates yet, um, and they like were, no, by no means far and away the worst on their teams. I think that's the idea with these entry-level leagues, with house league, like anybody who's been in it right until 11, they're not in those house leagues like it is really reserved.
Speaker 4:That's a good point.
Speaker 2:The kids getting into it, or the kids who are just part-time how is she on her skates?
Speaker 4:she's pretty good, yeah, so, and she's smart, so she'll figure it out, yeah.
Speaker 1:I've been very nervous about this, because she is not somebody who is good at not being good at things, right, she likes to. Just she wants to be the best at it immediately, and I know that this is going to be a struggle and it's going to take some time, right. So, I've been nervous about how she's going to do and how she's going to handle it, how she's gonna do and how she's gonna handle it, but we've had multiple conversations of like you're seeing this through you're stick to it now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not coaching because I don't want to be there to be able to coddle her at all, or like come to daddy, like daddy, and I'm like I want to be on the other side of the glass. On the other side, you're on your own. You got to figure this out and work on it, right? Yeah, um, but it was a super fun day because we basically had like a daddy-daughter date to go shopping for the things that I like, that's not like we're going to the mall and going to those we're going to all sports stores so it was
Speaker 4:kind of nice if you don't mind what was the cost, because I'm sure you didn't go like all out for everything so we kind of went around.
Speaker 1:So first we went to canadian tire to see what kind of selection they had, yeah. Then we went to a used store, legends, which is near us, so they've got used apparel, tried on some stuff there. And then we went to the hockey life, which is like a massive hockey warehouse store, right, um, because I was researching online first to see um, where the good deals were and stuff like that. I thought the good deal was going to be a canadian tire, right, but I thought that my child was a youth, but apparently she's a junior, so youth is like joey's, little guy's, cooper's age, right, where you could get like all the equipment for 120 bucks.
Speaker 1:And I was like bam this is awesome I'm sold uh not the case, so awesome sold. Uh, not the case, so canadian tire didn't have a great selection. Then at the used store she was trying on some stuff and then she started to feel really awkward and she like, started to like oh and like not being happy shopping anymore and I'm like what's going on.
Speaker 1:She's like I just don't. I don't want used stuff because like somebody else has worn it, it's kind of gross and like the pants that they had her try on were a little frayed and stuff and a little beat up and I'm like nobody's gonna know. I'm like if anything, having used clothes won't like will make you not stand out, so you're not like all this shiny brand new clothes that you're just right, right yeah she's like but why would I want to lie to people about not playing?
Speaker 4:And I was like, okay, good point, fair point, fair point. She's just on the, look good, feel good, play good, that's it. I totally get it.
Speaker 1:I was trying to describe to her that you can get a better brand and a better quality equipment if it's used Right, as opposed to something that's cheaper. That's true, but it's not as good of the equipment. So the equipment, so we were kind of talking about that. But I saw the mood start to drop right and I was like, okay, no, like, let's regroup here. We've tried some things on. We know that they're here. If we want to come back, we can get them. Then we went to this other store which is like the big, massive warehouse, yeah, and my instinct was to not go there because I assumed everything would be more expensive, but because they're a warehouse store, like they have a lot of selection and a huge range and great sales right now too, right. So we went in there. She tried on a pair of hockey pants. She was like, yeah, I love these. I was like, perfect, great, right, check, we can do this. And it was like right, like I think they were like maybe 35 bucks or something super cheap yeah, so then she found those.
Speaker 1:We found shin pads were a hard one to get because she just like she's never had to wear something like that. Yeah, so it felt awkward and felt uncomfortable so I just had her wearing it around the store. So she had shin pads on, had her pants on, was like walking around the store with me. Then we go to find shoulder pads and she didn't like those. She liked the ones better at legends, the used ones. They were more of like a smaller profile and worked in a little yeah.
Speaker 1:So I was like, okay, cool, so we got a few pieces at that store. Then we went back to the other store, got the used piece there that she liked and then went back to canadian tire because they had a pink hockey stick that she wanted. Oh nice. So we went to three stores and then back across through the street three stores again I believe the total was probably, with the stick, around 250 275 bucks yeah, so yeah not bad I was pretty happy yeah and she already had skates, yes, so like there was equipment.
Speaker 1:When you're like looking through the shelf and you're looking through the rack and you're like, oh, what about this?
Speaker 3:nope, and you put it back down.
Speaker 1:It's like 150 bucks for a kid's like knee pads or like kids shoulder pads and you're like what the?
Speaker 2:hell man $400 gloves, yeah you can go all out if you'd like it's crazy at that age it's like why this? Is gonna fit them for half the season yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So house league hockey was $500 to sign up. Then we're a couple hundred bucks in for equipment. I'm sure some skate sharpenings and stuff like that will probably be around a thousand bucks for the hockey, which to me for a kid's hockey like that's pretty good. It's substantial, but yes, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's going to let her know whether or not it's something she wants to keep going with.
Speaker 3:And then you cross that bridge when you get there I still have the same shoulder pads that I had when I was like 10 years old and I got them used, so they're really old they've been through it and they look really old but I don't mind, exactly because it fits like a glove now that's it.
Speaker 2:I bought all of mine because I didn't start playing hockey until I played with you guys, yeah, but I just went to legends and like when you're that with your our age, I'm like, no, I'm not buying like brand new stuff. I think the only new thing I got was shin guards that I got recently because I was using my brother's old ones that didn't have straps so you had I had taped them on and tape was the only thing that held them.
Speaker 2:So then I got them from let's get the sport check outlet. But again I went and found them. They were 40 off deal on them. But yeah, it's tough because they're giving cooper, so cooper's starting hockey this year too. Um, as a five-year-old and we did it with uh sport check, so we had a buddy on the baseball team, lou, who gave gar carlo, who gave out that uh 60 off oh nice at sport check.
Speaker 2:So meg and I went there. So the league that we had him do in the spring, which was like the introductory league, you rented the equipment from them so that we didn't have to buy it, which I think is awesome.
Speaker 2:I love that they did that so you give a deposit, they give you the equipment you wear it for that. Whatever it was uh, I think it was just jock gloves and like the socks that we got to keep Nice. But yeah, we just went. When we had that code for sport, check we just again you go find the deals. If you need to, you find the deal. So we went there. We had 60% off, so I think we got all of his stuff for like 150 bucks all in, which is great. And then we had the reference to from them, from their equipment.
Speaker 1:So we knew what sizes to put on somebody and I'm like I don't even know how this fits on me, like I just put it on, like I don't think of, yeah, how far do the pants come down the knees, or where should the elbow pads fit, because yeah, just I don't know. It just goes on it goes on my body and I play hockey yeah you don't think about it and like, like you said, the last time you picked out the gear was, yeah, 20 years ago but it is wild like I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm terrified of the journey of going into hockey with my son, where he's five, like the good chance he doesn't stick with it or whatever happens. But even just this weekend we went and watched.
Speaker 2:Uh, meg's got a cousin in town who's uh billeting with a family, so he's playing triple a hockey cool um with a local team and he was playing a game on saturday, so we went out and watched it and we find out when we get there. The team that he's on is kind of a not a makeshift team, but they're fresh. So there's two kids on this team from last year. Everybody else on the team is brand new. They're playing a team that was built from last. Uh, the team that they're playing was built from two other teams, so they basically took all the best players from two teams and put them on this one team and that's the team they're facing. Oh damn, it was not close like they.
Speaker 2:They were playing all right, they held their own, but I think it was like five to one after the first and then, like, as we were leaving because we wanted to get the kids home to bed, like they had scored another couple of goals. I think they lost nine to one, um, and then meg was talking to one of the moms because meg makes friends everywhere she goes and she was like at the last year they were losing by like double digits every game. This team and like you could just see how dejected these kids are and her cousin is. He's a good hockey player, so he's their, their first line center and you could tell he was one of the ones that was playing to the same caliber as the kids on this other team, but he's on this makeshift team.
Speaker 2:Now, at that level it's not about what team you're on and whether you win. You just need to stand out. It's triple a. You need to stand out enough that coaches and any scouts that are there are picking you up and then he's next year he'll be ohl draft eligible. So it is just a bit exposure. But you're watching this and you're like man that's got to be so hard to go through and his parents are at the point where he's 14, 15, he's billeting so they're already paying, I'm assuming thousands to get him here living with another family. Like they're well invested into this, like they're eight, ten years into this hockey journey he's 14 or 15 and he's being billeted.
Speaker 1:Where is he from, newfoundland and being billeted?
Speaker 2:here, new brunswick, and billeted here.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, I could not imagine sending off your yeah kid to another family at that age turning 15 so hard yeah.
Speaker 2:So they're like, and again, I think part of the reason they chose here is they knew they had family here, so they knew they had. Meg and her whole family are kind of in this area. They know how I I mean they're new fees.
Speaker 2:So they know wherever they go, as long as there's family nearby, they will be family. So we've already seen this kid at every gathering that we've had. He's there. Oh, okay, his parents haven't been. First game was on Saturday and they flew in so that they can watch that. So they're going to be coming over for a lot of the games, which, again, is just more and more money that you're investing into this right.
Speaker 2:So it's just such a wild journey and so much that your kid and the parents both have to put into it if they want to stick with it and try to go as far as they can with it. And that's part of what scares me with coop, where it's like man, if he picks this as a sport he wants to go with, like this is the one sport that I didn't want either of my kids to pick because I didn't grow up in it and you just know the the toll that it can take. But I get that.
Speaker 1:It's also exciting I think literally any sport gets so expensive this is true? Yeah, because I've heard people talk about baseball and like what it is to like put your kid into competitive baseball and like that equipment. Wise, there isn't much, it's true. It's like the equipment isn't the more expensive part. Yes, when you get to high levels, you're buying more expensive equipment, right?
Speaker 1:for performance, it's all bats and travel yeah, it's the travel yeah, like your brother steve, like his two girls, like there did so much travel, like so many tournaments, hotels and yeah, just all the expenses that add up when you're away from home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just food, everything man, yeah that's why you get like you need to. It needs to be balanced. Yeah, where like you need to have your kid focused on, yes, if they are going to get into athletics or even arts, love that as your passion. But you, in my opinion, where we live, you need the schooling, because the schooling is what can give you an avenue to keep going after that at a certain level where it's like you need the marks to get the scholarship to get into the thing.
Speaker 4:Otherwise it's just going to be purely bankrolled to try to make it right so if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you've heard me talk about how my son is not like super into sports, right, and he's also like your daughter, aria, uh, whereas if he doesn't right, if he's not great at something right away, he doesn't want to do it. Yeah.
Speaker 4:So maddie and I are always trying to like tease, like kind of like put plant little seeds here and there about trying certain things or like well, if he's not going to do a team sport, like maybe we can get him to do something else because we noticed like he's a really good runner, right. So we're like have you ever thought about doing cross country? He's like what's that? I'm like well, it's like a kind of like a long distance race, and he's like a race like against other people.
Speaker 3:He's like no, I'm not doing that he's like I don't and I was like why he's like I want to run when I want to run and I don't want people telling me how to run, so I'm just like all right dude I think you'd be really good at it.
Speaker 4:So after the first week of school, first of all, he's like pumped about his school for whatever reason he loves his teacher. He talks about it all the time. I don't know what she's doing, but it's fantastic job fantastic job. But he comes home or he gets in the van on friday and he's like uh, so, mom, I'm gonna, I'm signed up for cross country, perfect we're like what he's like.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I have four, uh, four practice uh times this month, I guess, and then the meet is like october, yeah, beginning of october, right, it's like so if I have to go to all four and then, if I do well at that, I get to run in the meet. It's like a kilometer run, I think is the first one right, you've done it with yeah, it's fantastic, it's adorable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it makes me cry every time. I watch all the other kids I'm just praying to whatever's out there.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that he sticks with it and I get to go to his meet in a month. It is a.
Speaker 1:It's a really cool sport to watch kids do because, as much as it, yes, is like a race and the first ones get ribbons or whatever, it is very much like an individual race against yourself, exactly, and it's one of the sports within school that you don't have to make the team for either. Yeah, everybody, whoever wants to come out, can go out and run. So when you're out there watching, there's all the different heats. The younger kids will go first and you're seeing these kids and you see a kid doing well and he's happy for himself and you can see the emotions and you can see a kid who is just out there trucking, like trucking along, doing their own thing and you can see a kid struggling and like the way that they encourage each other.
Speaker 1:You see the parents cheering them on and, oh my god, it just like tears me up and gives you like chills across your body when you watch it happen. It's so cool yeah I can't wait.
Speaker 4:I really hope it happens yeah maddie's like they said he has to run for 10 minutes. You think he can do that? I'm like, are you kidding? Me yeah like so much energy. Yeah, I think he'll be fine.
Speaker 1:There's a bunch that like end up walking and running and walking and running and doing different things like I remember when my son had started, because he's just like an energizer bunny and it's like he doesn't know a medium speed. It's just sprint, and then you get too tired and you walk. And when people catch up, then you sprint ahead again and then, as they catch up, you walk like yeah, that little back and forth, yeah, the tortoise and the hare like yeah, he was a hundred percent.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he's the hare. Yeah, it's cool to see your kid come out of their shell.
Speaker 1:A little bit it is yeah, it's really special to see and like just see them want to do it for themselves too, right, and like it's a great little endurance race to like it's a great introductory into something like that.
Speaker 2:Yes I wanted murph to get into it this year because they could have gotten into it at her age. But she ended up bowing it where she told us when she came back she's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna do that. But she thought that all of her friends were doing it, so that's why she was going to do it. Found out pretty swiftly the next day they weren't all doing it. So then she was like, yeah, that's not gonna happen for us. Like meg's a runner, she loves to run. Like she goes back and forth with it depending on, like, how her knees are doing and her body's doing. But like she really wanted murph to get into running so that they that's something they could connect on and do together.
Speaker 2:But uh, yeah, not in the curds yet she said, once they're allowed to do sports, she's gonna get into sports. But she's also just had such a rocky road with team sports and she just struggles so much with losing. We were at the hockey game on the weekend, as I mentioned, and out of nowhere, kind of, she'd come back and I was like dad, I want to go home. And I was like, well, yeah, it's like we going home, we're just waiting for mom, because mom was talking to another mom and she's like, no, like I want to go, like all right yeah, we'll go, so we leave, and she's like I want to talk to you guys when I get back.
Speaker 3:I was like oh, that's fucking auspicious and kind of scary, but sure. So we she's good.
Speaker 2:I'm glad she does it because she's she's safe with us. But yeah, she wanted to talk because she really didn't like it. She'd gone to the bathroom. When she came back she was kind of close to the glass on the boards and then a scrum happened in the corner, for the puck blew the whistle and one kid had hit another kid in the face and like bumped it back. She's like I really didn't like that, like she started to tear up.
Speaker 2:She's like he was bullying him like he didn't want to get hit and he hit him in the face and then he like skated away and he looks sad and I'm like, okay, so I'm like we talked her through it and it went really well where. I'm like, nope, like all those guys know when they get on the ice that that's something that is going to happen, right like he's not getting bullied. They all hit each other and it's part of the game. Like yes, it's not a great part of the game but they all go out there knowing it's going to happen.
Speaker 2:There's referees on the ice that are taking care of them to make sure nobody's getting bullied, like it's not a thing, they're already losing. And this kid's getting punched in the face like, yeah, it sucks, but it's like that's part of that sport. But she's so empathetic towards other people and that feeling of losing, right where she hates it so much, which is like good, you can use that if you do get into sport. Yeah, but I don't think team sports will be her thing because of that. I don't think she would do well enough to see her teammates get low right and be like I feel like you're letting them down.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there's a lot you never know, she could become like the big cheerleader for the team. Well, and that's the thing I, that's the true.
Speaker 2:I shouldn't limit her to say she can't get into it, but that's one of her big hurdles, I guess that she has to deal with right now is her empathy and how big it is, because she like it just affects her so much when she sees other people feeling that sadness of losing.
Speaker 2:That just means that she'll be a great teammate, right Pick them up, and that's maybe where, yeah, meg and I have to work on her strategies for, when that happens, to say nope, now it's your role to instead. You're going to feel those feelings, but now what are you going to do with them? It's one thing that I was dealing with in therapy recently where it's like the thoughts are going to come in negative thoughts, bad thoughts, like you don't necessarily control whether those are popping up. It's the emotions that they're going to evoke that you get to control. So now, instead of that sadness bringing out more sadness and even bringing your whole mood down, flip the script. Yeah, I have that feeling, it's sad, this sucks, but now you get to be the encourager and try to bring everybody else out of it yeah, yeah, I was.
Speaker 1:I was so curious in what allows people to be able to flip that switch. I was talking to our friend, jake manifo, who's a younger kid, in his 20s. Yeah, um, I was chatting with him about his schooling because he's wrapping that up, and I was just asking him, like how are things going? Like how, how are you set up, kind of thing. He's like good, like I don't have that much debt. And I was like, oh, how come? Like what financially, did you do that really, like set you up for that? It's like, oh, I just called the school and like asked for bursaries and like grants and stuff. And he's like there would be like a fund list that you could get yourself put on. I'm like, how did you think to do this? I was just like, yeah, just quizzing him on all of these different things. He's like I would call and they'd say, no, we don't have any money, we can't give you any. And he was like I would call again and I would call again and they're like fine, we'll put you on a list. He's like thanks, that's all I wanted was to be on a list. And then, and then a week later he'd have some donor call and donate like five grand to him or something like that.
Speaker 1:So like he was very like smart about it and I was like what gave you like that like gumption to just go ahead and do that? I'm like something like that will do you so well in life. So like, keep that mentality. But I'm like what was it? And his mom passed away right when he was about finishing high school and going to university. She passed away from cancer and he said I had a moment when my mom died where I realized I could go either way. I could wallow in that or I could like choose to better myself and make her proud, kind of thing. And I was like wow, wow, that's like so interesting. And I was like wanted to know so badly how, in the moment, somebody can switch to choose like you can sometimes. Sometimes you don't see the path and there is just one direction that you're going. Sometimes you can see the path where you have this choice of. I can choose this sadness or this loss, or getting beat down in this game, or my mom dying or losing a parent, losing something right you can.
Speaker 1:That can take you down a negative rabbit hole or it's. I can spin this and I can change my life. I have the choice to to do something good and not let this be something that ruins it. She wouldn't want me to ruin it, type thing. Yeah, um, yeah, I was just so interested in wanting to know that. We didn't have the time to get into it fully.
Speaker 1:But he said it was a choice he had to make each day. So in my mind, when he was first talking to me, it was like I'm like oh, okay, like you just made this choice. So it's like you made the choice and then he just did it. He's like, no, this was a choice that I had to make. Every single day. Yeah, you wake up and you feel that sorrow and the sadness and like the, the depths of that, and you have a choice to sit in that or you have a choice to sit, stand up and walk out of that and go do something and make an impact. Yeah, and I was, I was so impressed by him. I want, I'd love to have him on the podcast even to try and like, talk more about that. Like he. He is a great leader and a great, confident kid. Yeah, um, he is somebody that I would say that I hope my kids can aspire to be like. Yeah, he's a kind of kid that, like you, you want your kids to emulate and then you're calling him a kid.
Speaker 2:He's a 21, he's mid-20s, he's a man now he's taller than me.
Speaker 4:He has way more hair than me.
Speaker 3:Nice beard, damn it jake but it's.
Speaker 1:I find it so fascinating and even to have his dad john on, where like it's like what did you guys do? How did you raise such incredible kids? Because they're just, they're so fascinating and like when you get to have that type of a conversation it's so neat. But like back to murphy being in a sport, where it's like how do you talk a kid through that?
Speaker 1:where it's like yeah, you can choose to be sad about this loss. Or you can be sad that you're losing, or you can rally your team, you can find motivation and you can push harder. It's like I don't know if that's something that can be taught or talked into the kid right, when it's a choice that comes from within.
Speaker 4:Almost I would just say you just use it like teach her that it's her superpower, her empathy, Right. It's like you can see what other people are going through. So, that means that you have the power to like make a positive impact in their day Right. You see things that other people might not pick up on. Yeah Right, so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true, yeah, and it's, it's, it's. It's a really interesting subject because there's something to to. There's no script either. Right, like every kid is going to respond differently, learn differently and be taught differently. It uh sparks one of the questions that have popped up my thing. I don't know why I'm pulling it up, because I'm pretty sure I remember what it was.
Speaker 2:Um, it was what's one lesson you hope your kids learn from watching you, not from you telling them so that's what kind of popped in there too, is, like murph's, starting to come out to a few of our slow pitch games where it's like that is definitely something in myself that I've been trying to get better at is encouraging the people around me and being that person because I find that in sport I don't necessarily feel the the lows and the highs because of who I am like I'll still get charged up when we're winning, but when we're getting stomped when the other team is playing well, I don't often get that low.
Speaker 1:I don't get trying to tell me you don't feel like a million bucks when you step up to the plate a home run over the fence.
Speaker 3:It's like a no doubter. Joey's bat hits the ball and it has gone into the sky, into the next stratosphere, and everybody else is like excited for you, but also a little jealous, and joey just kind of flips the bat to himself and waddles over to the bench.
Speaker 2:Listen does the mailman celebrate when he drops off your mail? But, no, the big moments and when we've won in the past, as a team like those are good and I've been working on feeling those things to celebrate more. But I think just that like I want to be able to show murph and I think it's through that where it's like realizing the things that you want for your kids are probably very similar for the things that you want for yourself. Yeah, so what is stopping you from flipping that script in your own head?
Speaker 3:Oh, fuck you, Joey, you mother, you psychiatrist dropping bomb person Damn it. Ah, that hits so hard.
Speaker 2:Realizing that for myself as well through those journeys, right Like something like that what hit you, Dave?
Speaker 4:I want to know what hit there hit there.
Speaker 1:So you're talking about it and at first I'm just thinking like, um, how I want my kids to see my ability to apologize or recognize when I'm wrong, and I'm thinking about that and doing that, and then you say that little thing and I'm like shit, you got me. That's not the real thing that I'm doing or the thing that's bothering me. The thing that's bothering me with my son or with my daughter with a sport is I want them to be able to invest more into it. I want my son. He's doing rep basketball. They have to do 100 shots a day as homework when they're not practicing 20 minutes of dribbling. So I'm like have you done your dribbles yet? Have?
Speaker 3:practicing 20 minutes of dribbling.
Speaker 1:So I'm like have you done your dribbles yet? Have you done your shots yet? Are you doing your things? I want him to want to do that. It's the discipline factor. I want him to not play the video game and go outside and take the shots. I want my daughter to stick handle in the driveway and put the effort in practice. But I'm realizing, as you say, that I'm wanting them to do that so bad, because I want to do that and I'm struggling so hard to be disciplined with the things that I'm trying to be disciplined with.
Speaker 2:Damn it. Kids can teach you a lot about yourself. Fart potatoes.
Speaker 1:Because I'm like I'm wanting them to do those things, but I am wanting to do a bunch of things myself and I am just blocked by life, that is feels like I can't do those things, but what's something that you do well, that you want your kids to pick up on? The apologizing is the thing that I do. That's what you're saying so that's that's.
Speaker 1:that's the thing that I'm happy with. But then, when you said that, it made me realize why I am pushing them, why I want them to do. That is because I'm wanting to do that. But if I want them to do that, I need to start emulating that more, because it's something that I want for them, right, but I want them to be able to like, I need to be able to be the example for that, and that's often going to be the better way for our kids that are going to learn yeah Right, like they, we can.
Speaker 2:We've all experienced that saying something to our kid till we're blue in the face they still don't hear it, or it happens.
Speaker 3:No, they hear it, they hear it.
Speaker 2:They're actively not hearing your face, so it's like there face, so it's like there's certain things that we're going to be able to teach them. But I've also experienced that with my kids where I feel like a little bit with coop but more with murph. She's just getting to that age now where sometimes we can have a conversation where I can tell it's sinking in, where she's really actively listening to me, where what I'm saying is sinking in and she's getting it, where most of the time she's picking up on the first couple sentences and then she's off Because she's got that kid brain. That's just like all right, I'm done with this conversation now and that's part of the following your kid's lead when you're talking about anything.
Speaker 2:If you're getting into heavy conversations, easy stuff, whatever you have to follow their lead.
Speaker 3:There's a time and place.
Speaker 2:Exactly so. If they check out, just check out and understand that you've tried to get them back into the conversation. It's just not going to happen, because once they're disinterested, they're gone. So the one of the big ways for some of those big things is that it's setting that example. It is, yeah, choosing to do the things that we don't want to do, yep, even though that is what we do want for ourselves. You don't want to do it, but you know it's good for you. What we do want for ourselves, you don't want to do it, but you know it's good for you. But that doesn't make it any easier when, as we've talked about a thousand times on here, we're going through the most difficult and most stressful times of our lives.
Speaker 4:so that's why it's so difficult to, yeah, carry those disciplines and do all the things that we want to do I think mine would be uh, resilience, uh like the, the desire or like, yeah, to keep trying something until you get better at it. And it's a big one for my oldest because he is very much the like if I'm not good at it, I'm not going to do it, kind of thing. But I'm like, you can become good at something if you want to Like, you just have to keep like the whole, like failing is okay, like right, failing is just a stepping stone yeah like that whole mentality.
Speaker 4:Yeah, because I think that for a lot of not not in every aspect of my life, but for a lot of things like I, I think that I am resilient and I do have that like keep trying it until you get good at it, and it kind of we could see that when, uh like when him and I first started playing video games okay it's like if I would get stuck on a part, I would just like I will. I will keep playing that game until I get it right where leo's like this is so boring, like why are we doing this?
Speaker 4:we can't win. I'm literally gonna win on the next try. So just buckle up, buddy but like he's slowly starting to figure that out, like, yeah, you, you can figure it out eventually. Yeah, just keep trying, keep keeping resilient. And yeah, that's a small one that comes to mind, that's not a small one, yeah and that's, I think, for me.
Speaker 2:It's something that I want for myself. And again, it's kind of similar to what you're saying, dave, where it's like it's something that I'm realizing I want for myself so that my kids can have. It is that belief in themselves?
Speaker 3:and it's similar to resilience.
Speaker 2:It is just believing that they can just go do something, yeah, and that if and when they fail because you will fail you're gonna be fine. Yeah, and like that's getting rid of that stigmatism and that fear around failure because like, yeah, I think that was a great line. Like it's a stepping stone, like failure literally is the path. Like you cannot do something and succeed at it without failure, because you're gonna have things that you run into along the way. But that's such a hard thing to show your kid because you don't necessarily want to, I don't know, but dragging them through the failures, but like showing them how you fail along the way with certain things, right, like it's such a hard thing to show off and be like, no, these are all the things that I'm failing at right now, as I'm trying to be your parent who you wake up to for the answers, right oh, like, and even in the failures, like I can fail better like I can?
Speaker 4:I cannot be so hard on myself as I fail, exactly like I still like, I still am resilient, but like I can like not beat myself up along the way, right yeah?
Speaker 2:and like those are the yeah the big things that we need to do for ourselves to be able to show for our kids and that's one thing that I think I'm learning a bunch about with therapy is like the practical side.
Speaker 2:It's like, yeah, shit I think I touched on it a couple weeks ago or like sometimes the answer you get at therapy is definitely not the answer that you were looking for, but you knew it was the one that was going to come or just like you just got to do the hard things, like, yeah, you got to show yourself that you can do it, and that's how your kids are going to learn that they can do it, because you can't just keep telling them that they're going to be able to do it, because at the end of the day, there's going to be some things that they can't do and they also just have to be okay with that and okay with themselves through the failures that they don't get to succeed through, because the reality is there's going to be things that you go after that you don't get and, like, you also have to be able to bounce back from that I feel like I.
Speaker 1:I proved to my kids that you can be horrible at something and still do it over with my singing my wife there's joy there. Yeah, my wife has the voice of an angel, one of the reasons I fell so madly in love with her and still love her so much to this day is her beautiful singing voice and my kids all got her voice. They can all sing, really, really well. I still cannot.
Speaker 1:Our youngest, she's still figuring things out a little, or just finding a voice um, we found my wife found a new board game for the family, nice, and it is a singing one. So there's a microphone in the middle of the table and it's kind of like a hot potato okay you flip over a card and it has a word on it and you have to grab the microphone and start singing a song that has that word in it. Okay, if you get it right, you get points. So, oh, it needs to be like a real song a real song.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, yeah, like that so the kids loved it.
Speaker 1:My daughter, aria, crushes us. She knows lyrics so well. Um, but me grabbing the mic and I'm just singing at the top of my lungs, having the time of my life, like, open your eyes and everyone's just looking at you, like you really should have stopped a while ago we got it.
Speaker 1:You said the word but it's a great game I don't know the name of it, but if if you are a musical family, I would highly recommend it, because we have had so much fun playing this the past couple nights. The kids are into it. We would like once somebody grabs it and starts singing a song, everybody joins in and we sing more of the song. We've had a great time playing it.
Speaker 2:That's something that I definitely have to get, although I will be the worst in my family as far as I'm not good with lyrics Right and my kids are already better Like both Murphy and Cooper can sing the entire K-pop soundtrack Right, pretty much word for word. I'm like I'm very impressed with Cooper back there. He just crushes the Sasha Boyz songs.
Speaker 4:He's a big fan of all their tunes. I could listen to a song a thousand times and not know the lyrics. Same.
Speaker 1:So I talked to my wife about that, though, because when I listen to music, I don't listen to the lyrics.
Speaker 1:I found you still listen, like you'd still listen to the melody and yeah all the instruments so like I can hum through a song, no problem, and maybe know like every fifth word or something like that yeah, chorus, maybe where because I hear the melody, I hear the bass, the drums is what, like, my brain hears and she's like oh I don't hear that. I hear the words in the melody like she is like she hears the words to the song. I'm like why do people even care about the words?
Speaker 3:like nobody listens to them like I do. Like what?
Speaker 1:so, like one of those interesting moments that you like realize you've been listening to music differently here in my life like it's so, yeah, very interesting.
Speaker 2:Make similar to that too, where she will, like, I'll notice her when a new song comes on the radio or whatever that we're listening to. More often I'll notice when we're driving. Like she'll look it up and be like go looking at the lyrics to sing along so that she can know all the proper lyrics to a song. Because she's very similar, she wants to know all the words. Yeah, she wants to be able to sing it word for word. That's why she can, like crush certain songs. I'm like, wow, that's that's impressive yeah I have.
Speaker 4:It's like you guys, I have zero care.
Speaker 1:I'm not into the music and how it makes me feel, and like the amount of times I grabbed the mic and sang and my wife was like nope, not the lyrics.
Speaker 3:What come on, are you sure, had to be close, but that ain't it uh, we're doing shout outs.
Speaker 2:Before we do shout outs, let's just thank regal ideas. Yes, love to, because that's what we do here on the real that podcast. So thank you, regal ideas. The number one innovative exterior aluminum rail system component based. They were the original ones bringing it to north america 35 years ago. They have something for every price point. They have lots of colors. They have lighting that can be integrated into every system. It comes standard with the crystal rail system. You have led lights to light up the backyard and extend the use of your deck. Regal ideas, if you don't get it, you don't get us oh, okay, um, a little shout out to chris leary first.
Speaker 1:First, chris is the one who has been going through a little bit of a journey with their new baby, yes, who had an infection and they had to do some operations and stuff to help and he was born very premature. Yeah, our son, yeah, very premature. So he's still in hospital, still kind of going through more treatment. I had sent him a message just because I popped into my head and I was just like hey, how are things going with that journey? We'd love to like give people an update. And he said this is crazy. You're not going to believe this, but I was actually listening to you guys running errands and then got a notification that you messaged me while I was listening to the podcast and I was like that's amazing yeah um, so they're still going through a hard time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, it's gonna take some time still. They said potentially another three months. Um, because they're getting closer to when the actual due date would have been. So his wife's still going in to work on things. He sent us a couple of cute pictures. He's in Virginia. He wishes we were closer so that we could go hang out and see him, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Maybe we do a road trip, I don't know. But yeah, we just wanted to give you a shout out and fill you with some love and some hope. It's going to be a hard journey and I think, just taking it day by day as you go, but we're all thinking of you and hoping and praying for the best.
Speaker 2:Do everything to be there for your partner.
Speaker 1:One question that he asked that we might not be able to answer, but, brian, you kind of come to mind on if you have any advice to this. So he was wondering if we had any kids with a disability and or a disfigurement of any type and how we would help them through it. The reason why I thought of you is when leo's hair got ripped out oh yeah, and he was having a hard time with that and it's like all of a sudden, this thing that is a part of you that now isn't now literally been removed from you. Yeah, so he had said chris had said that through one of the surgeries he ended up having to lose a nipple. So he's not going to have a nipple and he has some scarring on his body and he's worried that maybe, like when he gets older, he's going to be self-conscious about this. And how do you help a child gain confidence while not being typical to somebody? And then that just kind of came to my mind as when that happened, I know that was a lot for you guys.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we, but with us it was like it ended up being us worrying more than we needed to. Yeah, um, because it happened like it was such a young age and all the kids. It was like a he just showed the kids. Yeah, like a couple kids had questions and then it was like they just went and played and right not a big deal and that's something that like, obviously it's grown back now and you would never know that it happened.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so by the time they're older and like there's kids that might be bullies, like right, it's not an issue anymore. So, uh, in terms of that situation, I just feel like you just have to keep talking to them about it and like make it. I just feel like you just have to keep talking to them about it and like make it like a normal part of your conversation, like it's nothing to be ashamed of, right, it's just part of your story, like that type of thing and you are a miracle, like that you're here.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like and like, make it like, uh, this is all part of your story, kind of thing yeah, turn it into a positive direction.
Speaker 2:It's a good line there to say like you're gonna worry about it more than they are, more than likely, and it's something that I think is interesting with uh, when ian was on, when we had him on, speaking about like anxiety driven parenting and that being something that him and his wife really struggled with, where you're gonna worry a lot about the these types of things for your kid and often you're gonna worry about them a lot more than maybe you should or they're going to right, that's a good just being a good parent and, like we're talking about here, being a good example of what it means to be carrying yourself with confidence and believing in yourself, like those are the things that are going to make them not really care about that stuff and be able to go through life with like somebody calls them out on it and be like, yeah, so they're useless anyways.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you notice, but I'm a boy, so like you know what I mean, like how, yeah, he carries himself is going to determine that.
Speaker 2:And being good parents the way that we assume you are, we hope you are with our interactions, and like the fact that you're actively already working on your parenting this early in the stage, like we don't. We're never going to come out here and say like, because you listen to the real dad podcast, you're a good parent. We can't blanket that. But the fact that you're actively listening to podcasts about parenting means that you care. So just doing that means you're going to love your kids through these things and that's what's going to breed confidence in them and give them the ability to carry themselves without feeling ashamed of their body and just be able to be them and have fun with the fact that they have stuff like that right I often think of my buddy nevin, who I'll shout out here because, like one of the funniest freaking people, I ever met.
Speaker 2:It's incredible and again, like someone who lost his mom pretty young which is interesting I forgot about that um but like just such a good, funny person. He had, uh, struggles with acne his whole life and especially through teenagehood, in high school, when him and I were close, um, but he was able to not let that be something that brought him down again. We were teenagers. So I don't know behind closed doors if he beat himself up more, but anyways, in person it was never something that anybody could pick on him for, even though it's very visible. It very much made him stand out from everybody else because he just carried himself with that confidence and that that comedic look at life it wasn't a thing and like he was beloved by everybody in our school and in our grade because he just carried himself with such like grace and confidence and was just a kind human being.
Speaker 2:So I think that's what it's more about focusing on how your kids are going to be and who they're going to be right.
Speaker 1:If you're a dick, then people are going to be a dick back to you yeah, pick on those things exactly, and I think you're a hard person to be mean to then right
Speaker 2:yeah, we all like we grew up with those people, right, that, like you knew the people that you couldn't say anything to them. You wouldn't want to because they're just, they were genuine people, they were kind, they were funny and they weren't assholes to anybody else. So why would you? And then you knew the people. Like, there seems to be a obviously several groups of people, but we fear our kids are going to become the one that's the butt end of every joke and the one that does get picked on by everybody, right? And yeah, I don't know how you really avoid that yeah, you never like circumstances always change like.
Speaker 4:You never know what circumstance your kid is gonna end up in there. Could you could just be really unlucky and have that kid who's just a complete asshole in your school like like it's just it's not something that is worth worrying about. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I know you do worry about it because you're a parent and you're like you just try to protect your kid as much as you can, but it's a day by day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah and you just try to be a good example, right, like you think, anyways, that the kids, the kids that I knew that were assholes and the ones that picked on me. I assume now at this stage of life they were probably picked on at home. Yeah, they had older siblings that were assholes to them, or they had parents that weren't great parents. So then and now at being older, I just kind of feel sorry for those kids. So, but yeah, you don't know to your point, brian, you don't know how they're going to turn out. You don't know how your kid's going to be when they're not at home. You can just you have to do your best to love them and be there for them when they are in your house.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's why I find pregnancies so scary Like you don't know what you're also going to go through in a pregnancy, yeah, and I am so grateful for the people that reach out to us and share that they're having or they're expecting, because we want to be there for you guys through it all. We're excited for anybody that's going to become a parent in in this world and we hope to be able to help encourage people to have conversations and have a better time parenting, try to find some joy in all of this and and do a good job. So like we're really sad that that chris is having to go through this with his kid, um, but then there are other like great stories here as well. So kevin melina messaged us and he said he had some exciting news to share His wife and him they had their baby boy. His name is Carlos John Molina. He was born September 3rd at 207.
Speaker 2:He is seven pounds 12 ounces and 19 and three quarters inches long. We know a lot of specifics about carlos now I love that he sent us all of those specifics though, like that's so cute because we want to know, like the one I love that.
Speaker 4:He's probably a stats guy kevin's a stats guy likes to know carlos melina is going to be a baseball player for sure um, but yeah, so they're, they're doing well, they're home, they're happy and healthy.
Speaker 1:um, he said that carlos and him have continued to listen to it, so he's already got his little boy listening to the podcast now too. And yeah, just said that from our family of yours, so they're super happy to have that.
Speaker 1:So I told him make sure you keep taking care of mama, because those first months are very hard and very strenuous and it'll take a lot of toll on them. He said one of the things that he's struggling with is just kind of what his role is. Yeah, feeling a little helpless because mom is breastfeeding and doing what she can do. So he's doing what he can, like making sure her water bottle's full and taking baby when he can and making sure that she's got food and doing that. So that's all you can do, buddy.
Speaker 1:I think so yeah, just be, be there, be available, and uh, be the the cheerleader right like, be the helper, don't always just ask what do you need?
Speaker 2:yeah, because that can become a swear word very quickly if you're just constantly asking mom what she needs, because sometimes what she needs is to not be asked what she needs. So you're going to learn her routine, learn how she's rolling with things, anticipate, fill that water bottle the way that you're doing, because often all she really needs is for you to be there, be by her side, be someone who's awake, someone who she can talk to you. I know that was a big thing for meg, like those nights when she was gracious enough to let me sleep because I was back to work, but still feeling that loneliness when you're up and you're with the baby and you're not knowing what to do. So there's going to be times when you just got to be awake and be there and be a breathing person beside that.
Speaker 4:And just try and be as present as you can be when you're snuggling that baby, because you do miss those moments. They pass by quickly, so take advantage of that while you can.
Speaker 1:Back to football, where we started. But like when my kids were babies, I still remember Aria, my middle child, when she was a baby and coming home on a Sunday turning on a football game and laying on the couch, and I've got her on my chest. Turning on a football game and laying on the couch, and I've got her on my chest and it's just like the baby's, like a little weighted blanket on you and you're just, you've got that baby cuddle and you've got the football game on in the background. It is just beautiful, nothing better. Now they're much bigger, they're still on top of me.
Speaker 3:I had both.
Speaker 1:Like I had three of them on me at one point. I still love it. I mean, at some points it's too much, but for the most part, I still enjoy the snuggles, um, while watching the football game. So you hold on to those and cherish those moments. They're so, so, so, so special. Yeah, presentness, um, I was a little pissed that mark wasn't here, okay, um, because I really wanted to kind of blame him.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:That I have new sheets on my bed now. Oh wow, my wife listens to this podcast and she listened to Mark talk about how his wife buys new sheets all the time. And then she was like right, I'm a grown adult, I can buy new sheets and now we have new fucking sheets.
Speaker 3:What's the thread count? I don't know. I didn't want to know.
Speaker 1:I didn sheets. What's the thread count? I don't know. I didn't want to know. She is a thrifty shopper so I will give her that. Yeah, and they did feel fantastic last night, so I wasn't upset about it.
Speaker 2:Sheets are great good feels fantastic we haven't done fresh sheets for a hot minute oh no, ours are.
Speaker 3:So yeah, you've got two sets, ripping them, so that's why I cut those toenails bro it was on the wife's side.
Speaker 1:We do have like a flannel set that we switch to in the winter. That feels really nice.
Speaker 2:We rock the heated blanket in the winter time, and I'm not mad about it. We bought a new one last winter I am a heated blanket. I am as well, but it's nice for getting in where it's like we set it up when we were actually the new one we got has a timer, so it's wonderful, so it'll turn on at like nine o'clock. So then by the time we get up there, it's walmart man, it's only like 70 bucks, uh, but it might light on fire at any moment.
Speaker 2:It probably will but yeah, getting into a warm bed, because my side, as soon as we get up, I shut mine off. Meg turns her up to max. But yeah, I'll shut mine off. But it's nice just getting into the one, I'm, I'm.
Speaker 4:I love getting into a cold bed. It's like it's so nice. Yeah, it's all year I would literally have the window open in the winter. It's fair, that's me.
Speaker 2:Just love a cold bed, yeah I love it now this time of year, but in the winter I warm it up so quickly it takes like a couple minutes and then it's toast.
Speaker 4:I don't enjoy those couple minutes, count me out. Well when I was a kid, it was all about like I didn't have teams. I had like hats that I liked.
Speaker 4:There was a day when I had like a boston red socks because it was like a b for brian, I mean that's fair and then I liked the georgetown hoyas yes, they were very popular, yeah I had like a big jacket of theirs and hat, yeah, and then, but it was like the color scheme, because it's like a blue and gray, nice, which is kind of like the dallas cowboys which I also had, like some of their gear. God, I like the color scheme, yeah. So it's basically like a girl like uh, sorry, picking the team based on the apparel I got you sorry, that's super sexist uh you know what I'm saying um.