The Real Dad Podcast
Each week, these four fathers cover a wide range of "Dad" related topics, from the joys of watching your child grow up to the challenges of balancing work and family life. With their unique blend of humor and authenticity, Dave, Joey, Brian, and Mark provide a refreshing perspective on what it means to be a dad in today's world.
Tune in for the laughs, stay for the heartfelt conversations about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. Whether you're a seasoned dad or a soon-to-be father, "The Real Dad Podcast" is the perfect place to connect with other dads and get the support you need.
Join us on this journey of fatherhood, and subscribe to "The Real Dad Podcast" today!
The Real Dad Podcast
Playground Friendships
Ever noticed how your kids can be completely different people when they're around someone new? In this captivating episode, we dive deep into the fascinating world of childhood social development and the magic that happens when we gently push our kids beyond their familiar boundaries.
We share candid stories about those surprising moments when our children exceeded our expectations socially. From a daughter making new playground friends completely independently to a normally reserved son transforming into a confident soccer player when grandparents were watching, these experiences highlight the incredible adaptability of children when given the right opportunities to shine.
The conversation takes a thoughtful turn as we reflect on our own adult social anxieties. We realize that the awkwardness we feel trying to insert ourselves into new groups or strike up conversations with strangers is exactly what our children navigate regularly. This awareness sparks an important discussion about empathy and modeling—how can we expect our kids to be socially courageous if we ourselves avoid uncomfortable social situations?
We tackle the particular challenge facing children who attend the same school from kindergarten through eighth grade, potentially stuck with the same peer group for nearly a decade. When difficult personalities or negative dynamics emerge, having outside friendships becomes crucial for a child's social development and self-esteem. Through personal experiences and honest reflection, we explore strategies for helping kids build diverse friendship circles that extend beyond their school environment.
Whether you're raising a social butterfly or a more reserved child, this episode offers practical insights for nurturing social confidence while respecting your child's unique personality. Join our conversation about finding that sweet spot between protection and independence, and discover how stepping back occasionally might be exactly what your child needs to step forward socially.
I haven't looked on her in a while. Look over and she's on a seesaw with another kid, just like having the time of her life. Then they're over on the swings. Then she comes over and I'm like you made a new friend. She's like yeah, I made two new friends.
Speaker 1:And it's just that like pushing them out of their comfort zone in safe ways. Because I was saying to Joey that, like, our kids grow up and our kids school goes from JK all the way up to grade 8. Our kids school goes from JK all the way up to grade eight. You are with the same kids and if you have piece of little kids in your grade you are stuck with those pieces of year after year, after year after year.
Speaker 2:Right, he just leans in.
Speaker 1:Some kids can be little ass. The real dad podcast. Welcome to the real dad podcast. I'm dave and my ice cream, my ice cream selection. Thank you for this summer is salted caramel truffle Kawartha Dairy flavor. It's delicious Like diabetes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love it too. I'm Joey, my ice cream flavor for the summer. Oh fuck, that's hard, davey, put us on the spot here.
Speaker 1:I know how much you like ice cream.
Speaker 4:My name is Mark. Welcome back, cole. Yeah, no great call. And my favorite ice cream flavor is Moose Tracks. Damn it, mark.
Speaker 3:It is the best flavor. So I'm Brian and that is also my favorite.
Speaker 4:Dude, you gotta buy it off a truck. If you find a Quarthadary truck, you pull right over Kids, love it by the way.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? A truck Like a transport?
Speaker 4:truck. I live in God's country, bro. They got ice cream trucks everywhere.
Speaker 3:My only gripe with Moose Tracks is sometimes when you buy it by the tub. You know, one of my favorite parts of Moose Tracks is like the chocolate swirl they put in it Sometimes there's not enough chocolate swirl.
Speaker 4:It's too much vanilla, it's brownie, it's like hidden in the middle.
Speaker 2:That's where the gluteness. Where is it You've got to be?
Speaker 1:careful with the scoops.
Speaker 2:But yeah, if it's.
Speaker 1:It's not even in the tub, then you just got screwed.
Speaker 4:You know what I try to. Now that Doritos are so expensive. Doritos are my love language, by the way yeah for sure, but at five bucks a bag I mean come on.
Speaker 3:That's a little much, I can't do. Knockoff Doritos, do you like Osmos? Yeah, they're going to be serving basically shawarma on a bag of Doritos. Ooh, that sounds shawarma on a bag of doritos oh, that sounds like a sale start.
Speaker 2:It's starting soon.
Speaker 3:I just saw an ad for it wow. Note to sell this episode, brought to you by osmosis, the one around the corners open damn it.
Speaker 4:um, but now a better deal is if you buy like a tub of moose tracks, I can get two nights out of it because I cut the tub in half. That's what I do.
Speaker 2:There you go, I'm happy for you, I think my ice cream for this summer is going to be Joey's Cookies and cream. I'm going cookies and cream this summer.
Speaker 1:It's classic.
Speaker 2:I like to cycle it out. I'm not picky with ice cream.
Speaker 1:I do like to change it up.
Speaker 4:I don't like chocolate ice cream. Don't call me a racist, but I do not like chocolate special shout out to hog and dawes.
Speaker 3:Peanut butter chocolate ice cream is one of my favorites, and hog and dawes coffee ice cream is also to die for.
Speaker 1:Don't go hog and dawes often.
Speaker 3:I should so good their coffee ice cream.
Speaker 1:I'm an adult, I could get hogging.
Speaker 3:You can just do that, and sorry, ben and jerry's tonight show no tonight show how high ben and jerry's, how high that's also I don't know if I've had ben and jerry's.
Speaker 1:I've been a I've been a kawartha dairy boy for a long time. Well, you know what sucks?
Speaker 4:reed dairy sucks if you're listening to this and you are a Reed's Derry fan. Quit while you're ahead.
Speaker 1:We went in for ice cream after my son's soccer today Because all the kids came to watch it Did you.
Speaker 4:We went to.
Speaker 1:Inniskillen, you get these massive scoops there.
Speaker 4:It's got the corn. Inniskillen General Store Boom.
Speaker 1:So good, but like $46 for the family.
Speaker 4:it's true we probably I should have like done the value deal and just bought some tubs yeah I'll get back to this in one second, but it does relate to this, because it's a thing um, my son yesterday, as an insult called, called me a Costco member.
Speaker 1:He insulted you with that.
Speaker 4:He's three. We're in the middle of Walmart.
Speaker 1:You're a Costco member.
Speaker 4:We're in the middle of Walmart and I was like, okay, we got to go find the girls, meaning my wife and my daughter. I was going to go find the girls. He's like I'm not finding the girls you. Costco member.
Speaker 3:And I was like what he's just trying out, some new material, but it felt like a burn.
Speaker 4:Oh for sure.
Speaker 2:It's like calling you a basic bitch. The accuracy in it is diabolical because I had the card on me.
Speaker 4:I'm like what the hell? And I'm like I'm only. I'm only the white card, I'm not the black card right so I'm like yo, not a vip. Anyways, the trick is you go to costco and you get two tubs for like the price of one, and a half.
Speaker 1:It's a great deal, so good. I'm not great at planning ahead, though I just, when I'm wanted, I want it, you know that's fair.
Speaker 3:We are very lucky to have ns gillen, though, because totally, when we were out west, we went to cows, which is like a well-known brand out. Well, I've seen it around, okay, okay, but uh and it's delicious, but the size of the scoops were just pathetic why are we on? That right, yeah honestly, I don't even know what to compare to, like the size of, uh, I don't't know. It was like pathetic. It was $20 for the two of us to have ice cream and we were just.
Speaker 3:she was angry the whole time Like a pool ball, yeah, I spent too much money on this, yeah. Like smaller than a pool ball size.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And a skillet gives you like a quart of ice cream?
Speaker 4:It's too much, exactly, but, but the kids? It's too much for the kids, like I remember when mad, but that's the thing. Like you're getting too much ice cream, yeah dude, when matt, when mad was like a or I guess it was aubrey, my daughter the size of their head, their whole, her whole arm, like three scoops, she's two and I'm like she's gonna wear this thing.
Speaker 2:But even little baby like you're the little baby you're thinking it's gonna be a little baby scoop no, no, no hard, no yeah b, you got to tell the story.
Speaker 1:I know you've told us in person, but you need to tell it again for the podcast just to follow up last week's costco story about the melting ice I did share that on the podcast right, yeah, okay it's hard to it's hard to keep track sometimes just for context.
Speaker 4:I don't remember anything we have after my oldest son last a couple weeks ago.
Speaker 3:Oh right, yeah lost it.
Speaker 2:Lost it on his ice cream cone because it was melting too fast Right.
Speaker 3:So we're sitting down at Enniskillen after, which is like our end of the year school tradition.
Speaker 4:Is it the one in Enniskillen or?
Speaker 3:is it the one in Oshawa?
Speaker 4:Oh wait, there's one in Oshawa.
Speaker 2:There's lots.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ritz, and by we're voting out all the companies.
Speaker 2:Just sponsor us, for God's sakes, right next to you.
Speaker 1:We want a cock lumber.
Speaker 2:Yeah, really yeah.
Speaker 3:Wow. Anyway, we're sitting down there with our ice cream Costco's right there. The temperature had come down, so we're like Maddie's sitting there. She's like isn't this so great? Like it's cooler.
Speaker 4:You know, your ice cream's not melting, falling all over the place, and leo, just like deadpan, looks at her. He's like I feel like you were talking directly to me and she's like, yeah, yeah, I was. And he just has a little smirk on his face and just keeps looking at his ice cream.
Speaker 3:It was the best I feel, told it, mom. Your kids get to that age where it's it like sometimes you hear stuff coming out of their mouth and you're like you're a teenager or older and then other times they still feel like they're three years old. It's just a weird age, but it's hilarious.
Speaker 2:That's so funny. Just for shouting out one more ice cream place. We went to Dairy Queen after.
Speaker 4:Which is more?
Speaker 2:nostalgia.
Speaker 1:Different kind.
Speaker 4:Different experience.
Speaker 2:But they have a poutine there, and I was hungry because I didn't eat dinner when I got back, so then I grabbed a poutine with my ice cream.
Speaker 4:It was actually legit. Their fries are good, zach Morris time out Joey.
Speaker 1:getting a poutine is a rare occasion.
Speaker 4:But you paired it with an ice cream. There's shit you can't do.
Speaker 3:I did. You've never dipped a french fry in a milkshake.
Speaker 2:No, french fry and ice cream is top notch French fry and ice cream, sweet, and salty bro.
Speaker 1:McFlurry and fries. You guys are incredible. You're making this shit up. You're doing this for clicks and fucking likes.
Speaker 4:I don't know what you're trying to do. Have you ever?
Speaker 2:had a beaver tail, bro.
Speaker 4:I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. You sound like a vagina Funnel cake.
Speaker 2:I've had funnel. Okay, there you go.
Speaker 4:Actually, waffles and ice cream are great At the Mandarin. When I was little I used to put that shit on everything. We're not reaching too far here.
Speaker 2:We're going to fries and ice cream was a strange combo. I will give you that Strange Are you going back and forth?
Speaker 4:No there was no back.
Speaker 2:I had two bites of poutine, and then I went for a stab of ice cream.
Speaker 4:It's soft serve, it melts. I was fucking looking at it.
Speaker 3:It's like getting your andro and your dessert at the same time. It's a blizzard. I back it. Were you with the kids.
Speaker 4:What an example? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2:What kind of role model are you? Are you kidding? I do what I want. I don't even order McDonald's. I can do what I want, the best part is too that we sat in a booth because the grandparents and their aunts in town were there. There was more people here, so then we have this booth set up All of them sat there and I was like alone in the corner on my little shame table eating my poutine and ice cream.
Speaker 3:Your dad will join us when he finishes his poutine.
Speaker 4:It's 7 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday and your kids say can we have a snack? What do you say? Absolutely not.
Speaker 2:Why You're not a poutine and ice cream the other day. I hold all the cards oh my god, I'm speechless. But anyways it was a great. Poutine, cheese, curds, gravy fries.
Speaker 3:Kids say I haven't been there to be honest, like Wendy's a frosty and a poutine. Oh yeah, it's like I don't know. There's nothing weird about that.
Speaker 4:That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 3:You ever just get a Frosty instead of the drink at.
Speaker 4:Wendy's Never in my life. Oh, it's the best combo Meg never gets a drink at Wendy's. Okay, now you're the winner.
Speaker 2:They're kind of mid. Let's be real, you're kind of mid. No way, I love ice cream, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Is it chocolate, it's chocolate.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah exactly, I'm a vanilla, but no, it's not chocolate chocolate, it's like it's a Frosty. It's different, it's in Well I mean, what are we talking about?
Speaker 4:I don't know Anybody got anything parenting related.
Speaker 2:Listen. We got onto ice cream and soccer was fun today with Cooper In the rain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we were in the rain, so he's got one kid on his team.
Speaker 2:That's really good. I haven't seen this kid yet, so I've just heard stories of this kid. I've just heard stories of this kid. Is his name Emmett, because?
Speaker 4:we are in the same situation. No, not an Emmett. What if it was, though? That would be awesome.
Speaker 2:I don't know what his name is, but it's not Emmett. Ask him. Okay, well.
Speaker 4:No, to get Coop to do it, because it's weird if you ask him hey kid, come here, what's your name?
Speaker 2:Don't do that get cut out from the parents is fucking not. Sometimes I'm really aggressive too. Hey, hey, you anyways. Sorry, uh no, the kid still wasn't there today. So then coops alone. So they're it's four and four. Soccer yeah, we show up. It's supposed to rain. There's only four kids there. For here, for coop's team, they're going up against the gray team. Gray team is legit.
Speaker 4:They have a little gray team is the a team messing I'm saying like red, this kid's got red dyed hair.
Speaker 2:He kicks with his left and his right foot. He's going far down all day, that's him.
Speaker 4:This kid's ridiculous yeah um. Emmet flexes in front of the goalie when he scores on him.
Speaker 2:He runs. When he gets his goal, he runs back and does one of these two fingers up in the air.
Speaker 3:It's unbelievable. You got a goal. Celebration yeah, every single one in this and our emmet just like dials in.
Speaker 2:He's like he probably got 10 goals today and celebrates every single one of them like this. It's awesome, so I haven't seen the superstar kid on Coop's team, yet, as I mentioned, he still wasn't there today. So it's just Coop alone with three kids who God love them. They shouldn't be there.
Speaker 1:Two of them.
Speaker 2:Every time they touched the ball, turned right back towards their own net and went to score a goal On their own net Every goddamn time. Oh, that's beautiful. Even though Cody and their parents are all like other way. They're getting in front of them that way.
Speaker 1:No, it's much easier to go this way.
Speaker 2:Well, in their defense, that's where the ball's going all game long.
Speaker 3:I think that's a minor fix. You know, they got the grab the ball and run with it part.
Speaker 2:That's the biggest thing when you're just gonna turn the table. I mean, it sounded like they handled the ball a lot. They did not. Okay two or three times each for these kids and each time it just went back the other way. So anyways, coop tried his best he likes defending anyway, so it worked out pretty well for him and he did score one goal today, so we were happy about that.
Speaker 4:But maverick all the same check in the same boxes. It was awesome to see, because my son fakes asthma. He has asthma, okay, but he uses it to his advantage when he doesn't want to exert himself, okay. So, soccer, when you have to run normally, he's like I can't run, I have asthma can I be the goalie, like well no everybody wants to be the goalie he's like. Well, I can't run.
Speaker 4:I have asthma and you're like dude, it's fun like just go out and fucking work your lungs a little bit? Wish I could. But did you bring my inhaler? Did we bring his inhaler? My wife's? Like nope, like well you got us, yeah but anyways, same same. He, like today, was just a different breed. I don't know what it was. He woke up full of confidence too much confidence for this. He's the best soccer player in all of trent hills. This kid loves life today and he's gonna. He's gonna play. And you know what it was?
Speaker 4:his grandparents were there yep and I had never seen him this full of confidence. He was like the warmups are always kind of sus, I have to like go with them and stuff like that. But this Emmett kid is like. He looked like Connor McDavid out there.
Speaker 2:It's insane.
Speaker 4:Four of the other kids are around him. He, just like weaners, his way through goes and anyways. Future Toronto Maple Leaf.
Speaker 3:Connor McDavid.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Sorry, yeah, we can dream right.
Speaker 2:Delusion is what it's called.
Speaker 4:Yeah yeah, but my son was out on the field and his whole thing was like I'm just going to, I'm going to play with Emmett, that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to play with Emm emmet, and he was running like the whole entire thing and then he learned what a cramp was okay he comes off he gets his drink, he goes back on and he's chasing, like both robin and I were like who is this kid?
Speaker 4:and then blow the thing, he comes off and he walks up to rob. So he's like there's a chain. I'm at the end, robin's there and then the parents in the middle and he likes his hand up.
Speaker 2:He wants his high fives From like a gondola, like he walks down the thing and I'm like, acknowledge me High five train.
Speaker 4:He's just drinking, sitting on the thing. He goes let's go purple team, let's go Go Emmett.
Speaker 3:And he starts screaming and the coach is laughing and like looking over at him like you came to play today, bud, and he's like let's go purple.
Speaker 4:And then all the other kids are like let's go purple it was wild like wild to see like the thing, and robin's like okay, bud, okay, okay. But then he like he loves violence, right he's like knock him over and I'm like no, no, no too far, too far. She's like back it up, back it up back it up.
Speaker 2:Not bad. Where did he?
Speaker 4:get a trident from Like obviously they're three, so like they kick the goal and they're like just back and forth, fourth and back. But the coach is like okay, who wants to play? And he goes, I'm up, and then he literally takes his water bottle, drinks it and throws it over his shoulder runs onto the field.
Speaker 1:Somebody in the head he's writing his own movie.
Speaker 4:He runs, barrels this kid like, knocks him over to steal the ball and I wish, like I'm gonna, I'll downplay it, okay, he knocks his kid over and he runs from, like their defense, like our defensive, like where the I don't know the goalie terms, but basically there's the net and then there's like the white crease kind of thing, right. So he's there and he kicks the ball and he's running full tilt. There's like two yellow jerseys chasing him and he's going and he goes all the way down and we're like, oh God, please get this goal, please get. And he hasn't scored a goal, hasn't, hasn't cared to like be the one, and he, fucking, he kicks it and it trinkles past. The guy Gets his first goal. Nice, not a single celebration, doesn't care, he goes.
Speaker 4:Oh, oh, my asthma, I almost died out there right in the asthma right before that, he's like go purple so I'm streaming and yelling. My wife is our like embarrassing because like this is this is three year olds and they're scoring goals every five seconds and we're just like yeah, even the coach was hyped for him because she's like I've never seen this. And he's walking, holding his chest, and then walks by, but he wants his high five gondola.
Speaker 2:So he's like high five, high five, five.
Speaker 4:I'm like are you okay, buddy? He's like I got a little bit of a pain right here and I was like, yeah, that's a cramp. He's like will it go away? I was like you need to run more, okay, fine.
Speaker 2:And then goes back out.
Speaker 4:It was awesome to see like just how into it he was and he was just like he just loved it. But like he like kept it low key at the same time.
Speaker 1:But that goes to like what I think I had talked about a few times, about how sometimes, as parents, teaching our kids is harder than somebody else teaching them. And you're telling that story about like the grandparents being there and then he's got this next level of fight and excitement to impress them more than he wants to impress you and robin perhaps, like I find that aspect interesting because even my son, like my dad, came out tonight to watch him play and he was playing way harder than he normally would like. He was giving her and like battling for the ball and stuff and using his body to get in front and push and like way more than he would normally do if we were there.
Speaker 1:But my wife, the girls and grandpa was there watching, where normally, if it's just me sitting in the chair, it's like whatever, I'm not, I don't need to impress that guy anymore, but grandpa is like I'm gonna fight for it, I'm gonna impress grandpa, and then afterwards, like you can see him like low-key, like playing it cool, and then my dad's like oh, you were so good out there, great job. Look, we were fighting for the ball and doing this and running hard. And he's just like thanks, grandpa. But you know, like there's that extra level, like I just find that interesting, with the effort that kids put in and because we are there every day and, I guess, doing a good job as a parent, that they don't feel the need, that they do need to yeah, work for that love or impress you for that praise that they're getting it just regularly.
Speaker 1:So it is kind of just a null point.
Speaker 2:But then when it's somebody else that's giving it to them, even a random coach, that's like, yeah, another dad or a stranger, them praising them means more than you praising them if you're doing a good job at like continually telling them that you love them and praising them for nothing, but then yeah yeah, no, it makes sense and I feel like you even see that at the professional level, when you have like I'm just thinking like hockey players, when they have like they're going back to their hometown to play in front of them for the first time, so they have a section, that's all their people, and they usually have the game of their lives on that game right, because you know you've got that many more eyes on you, something extra to play for right.
Speaker 3:We all.
Speaker 4:We know that all too well as leafs fans people always have the game of their lives it is fun to see that passion come out right of them and like I've got to experience that a lot this weekend, just like spending so much time with him, I'm a little bit upset. Not gonna lie, I love you guys, but like to be here and not to have like the laydowns and like get to have that conversation with him about it, because, like the, the pride that he had for himself was there. It was like it was really cool to see that, like how proud he was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, but yeah, see, that's the thing like I want to figure like out how to get your kid to feel motivated for themselves. Where I find that, like, there's often an external reason that gets them motivated. Where, like even as an adult, I struggle with that of like how to motivate yourself to do something you motivate yourself to do something.
Speaker 4:I can motivate myself.
Speaker 1:But like the give, the like extra, I don't know the extra ump type thing okay I don't know, you know it's true, because it's, it can be.
Speaker 2:It's not just sport either, right like it's getting your kids to motivate themselves to uh insert themselves at school and socially and yeah, with their, with their schoolwork and stuff like that right to be able to do things for themselves. It's, it's tied into, I think, anyways like building their self-esteem and their self-confidence, because that is what you're seeing when they are going out there and they're because they don't have all those extra thoughts, right.
Speaker 2:The kids that aren't going gung-ho, they're often thinking about oh, what's the other kid's going to do? What am I going to do? Oh, I'm going to screw up when I go to get the ball. The kids that are just going and playing, they don't have those thoughts. They don't have those. I guess, to a certain degree, insecurities.
Speaker 1:It sucks that those things start at such a young age, but they seem to yeah, sorry, dying again. I think it's the I want to be able to have less limits for the kids so that they can try and do more things, yeah, on their own, like they're. I realized like we did a lot for our kids and didn't push them to just like do it on your own, like just figure it out on your own like, struggle with it learn it to gain those skills and those because it does develop confidence, yeah, and then the ability to be like I can, I can take, I can take care of this one right, because it like we were very big helicopter parents for our first and just sitting here having this conversation, like reflecting on the soccer.
Speaker 4:It was like I was glued to my son's game the whole entire time, which is like I didn't even look at my clock once to see when it was going. It was awesome.
Speaker 4:But I also had a second child playing on the park that I totally forgot about yeah I had no idea she was there and I'm like kind of like scared right now, being like holy shit, shit, like she could have gone missing, like like all of those initial anxious fears that are usually there in the moment where like hey, one of us needs to keep eyes on her, the other one, and like I had none of that, and it's like I can see how shit could go wrong quick, do you know?
Speaker 4:what I mean, but also she got to have that freedom the time of her life exactly she had, which is important and, like you know that, they're in a safe place exactly, and there are other parents watching and, yeah, you know that they're taken care of for the most part.
Speaker 1:Um, because we had a very similar experience. Um, even there, we went to a party on Saturday, which like a barbecue and a little bonfire, and my kids were going and they didn't know they weren't going to know a bunch of the kids there. I didn't even know who was invited, I didn't ask, I didn't know.
Speaker 4:I wasn't prepared.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But so there was a bunch of people who didn't know, a bunch of kids that they didn't know. But going into it, I said, said like I've got a challenge for you. I want you guys to make three new friends today and because my kids can sometimes be reserved or you just play with the people that you know but you're going somewhere you don't know, let's make our own fun, let's figure it out how do your kids respond to that?
Speaker 3:because my oldest would be like screw you, Dad, I'm not talking to you.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean all in different ways. Aria had her three friends within the first two minutes of getting there. She's like hey, dad, I already made three new friends. This girl, this girl, that girl.
Speaker 2:I win. I win. Yeah, exactly Because she's a little miscompetitive.
Speaker 1:Ben was more reserved. He kind it cool like feeling out the grounds, um, making like show references or whatever, to see if the other guys were watching the same shows as him. And then he found out that, like they were the same age and they were even born within like the same month so it was like this, like instant kind of connection.
Speaker 1:He made some friends, like they had fun. And then so today at soccer my youngest she was over at the park playing while my son's playing. I have the exact same moment of like shit, I haven't looked on her in a while. Yeah, look over and she's on a seesaw with another kid, just like having the time of her life. Then they're over on the swings, then she comes over. I'm like you made a new friend.
Speaker 1:She's like yeah, I made two new friends and it's just that like pushing them out of their comfort zone in safe ways to help build that character and confidence. Cause I was saying to Joey that like our kids grow up and our kids school goes from JK all the way up to grade eight. You are with the same kids and if you have piece of shit, little kids in your grade, you are stuck with those pieces of shit.
Speaker 2:Year after year after year after year. Right, he just leans in, stuck with those pieces of shit year after year after year after year.
Speaker 4:Right, it's been a while he just leans in some kids can be little assholes yeah but you the way you say, piece of shit though is concerning the ease of what you see. No one like the the like, the assertiveness I'll bring the yearbook and then, like it beats, yourself. You can't see the peak, but I can tell when you say piece of shit, that's right.
Speaker 1:See that top line right there but you're stuck with those same kids, right, and my son has kind of struggled with friendships at school and then so having that and like you get some of the kids names when you meet a new kid and you get their fortnight account or whatever so you can play gaming online oh, bro, we're at different levels of dad very, very. But I heard my wife talking to him and she was saying that like yeah, most of my friends were people that I had outside of school, like my school friends.
Speaker 1:Like yeah, you had like a couple friends at school, but then she had another group of friends, all outside of school, from the neighborhood or whatever Right so like to, to give our kids more of those experiences right when they can make friends outside in different groups. Take, like it takes me as an adult out of my comfort zone into atmospheres or people that I don't know even, which can be uncomfortable to deal with like small talk as an adult can be painful sometimes. But our kids getting to experience that for themselves and build their confidence and find friendships in different ways that aren't those same pieces of shit that are escrow, bringing them down each day totally because a school year can really like weigh on a kid totally.
Speaker 1:Like I noticed our son's grades even from the beginning of the year to the end of the year kind of go down and he was very excited and happy to start off the year and then by the end of the year it was very much like this person's a dick. This person's a dick and like kind of I don't want to go to school even to finish this out. Like he had his couple friends but everybody else was just kind of out there, right so to put him into experience where he can make a friend and see that other people are good or kind or nice yeah, exactly, just to help gain that confidence and stuff yeah, we have, uh, we have a kid that in the beginning of our daughter going to this new school, we thought was amazing because they like instantly connected.
Speaker 4:But now, two years later, we're like starting like the curtain has started to kind of open and the kids no longer like being like fake nice or like being like fake nice. It's like there's like bits of jealousy in there and like some of the things that are are coming up are like really weird and like just yeah, just offside comments for things and we're like, ah, this is so like I hope she moves soon whereas it's amplified when you're in a small town, because you're like the, literally the there is no class.
Speaker 4:Right, it's the one grade three class yeah is the grade four, class and five class and literally following the same people. Yeah, so it's. It's a bit of a tricky situation like we let our neighbors howie's kids um, how his daughter's sleeping over tonight because we're like his daughter's such a good influence on ours like she, this girl, she she's a year older than obs, but she's like doesn't give a shit what people think about her.
Speaker 4:So like on the bus, everyone's having their little conversation. But she's like, doesn't give a shit what people think about her. So like on the bus, everyone's having their little conversation and she's just reading her books and, like aubrey looks up to her. So she's like, oh, what do you now? Now aubrey likes reading books and that's all aubrey wants to do. So she it's like this really cool, like encouraging thing and you're like, you almost kind of like want to push her towards that. So we're like we're good to have those things. So all the camps that they're in our daughter's not like strategically not with this other friend, it's always like there a lot of them are with how he's daughter's going to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4:So it's like it's a weird kind of gamble, cause you don't want to like, you don't want your kid to be the friends can influence so much, yeah, and you don't want them to fall into those things, but you also can't like you need to let them make their own mistakes and you need to let them kind of live their own life.
Speaker 1:Well, I think it's hard to change your status at a school.
Speaker 4:No, bro, you just update that shit.
Speaker 1:But like, as far as what you get labeled as early on, with those groups or with those people, like whether my son was annoying or this and it's like oh no, it's that kid like it's hard to change who you are or your personality or how you fit in because those cliques get made. It's called a click clique not a clique.
Speaker 4:I don't even know what a clique is. It's the French, canadian word.
Speaker 3:It's a clique, it's a clique.
Speaker 4:Oh, it's the Asante Goo, is that?
Speaker 2:what that is, it's getting fancy over there, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I realized because, like we went to no no, it's called clique.
Speaker 4:Just want to clarify I'm not going at McDougal's. Oh, the white party.
Speaker 1:He's been on the podcast a couple times yeah.
Speaker 4:And it's all of his. Also didn't get an invite for that, the party where you wear white clothes.
Speaker 2:There were multiple ethnicities there.
Speaker 1:Oh right, yes, was there chocolate ice cream there, there was yes In very tight pants?
Speaker 4:Yes, anyway, bad pants?
Speaker 2:No, I'm not very tight pants yes, anyways, bad pets. No, I'm not. I meant real ice cream. Oh okay, yeah, me too. Back to it, wow, but it was. They wear white clothes, everyone. That's why I call it a white party they wear white clothes.
Speaker 4:Everyone, it's everything. Can we delete this part please?
Speaker 1:I'm uncomfortable, um there was all of his friends and like their groups of people and you very much feel like outside of it. You don't know those people, and it was it just kind of made me think about that. Going into these other circumstances to like be able to help your kid when you realize it's something that you even still struggle with as an adult, where it's like how do you insert yourself into a group of people that are talking to just be like, hey, I'm dave, how's it going? And just like jump in. It feels very awkward. You usually just stay to the people that you know.
Speaker 1:There's one super outgoing lady who just bounces around to everybody and it's like always hey, I'm susan and I'm the life of the party and you need to know me.
Speaker 4:And it's like okay.
Speaker 1:And she hangs out with you and talks to her a bit and she leaves and you're like wow, what an amazing lady.
Speaker 1:And then you're like why can't I just do that, like what is holding you back and some of it is just not wanting to put forth the effort. But you realize how hard it is to insert yourself into a different group and I think our kids, like those groups, form at school. Like you have the different kids that play in the different areas and it can be very hard to all of a sudden change groups. Or you're hanging with that group now and then the group that you were hanging it with is like upset that you've switched groups of people and stuff, like it can. Just there's so much politics that they have to work around at school.
Speaker 2:I find Well, and there's so much politics that they have to work around at school.
Speaker 2:I find well, and you're opening yourself up to the judgment of those people right yeah, that's what's awkward about it as an adult and I think as a kid as well right, you're all going into this group of people like, hey, I'm me, and then you're subject to how they're going to judge you. And that's just how the world works. Where, um, the friend of your daughter's mark, where it's like someone who has that ability to be like, well, I'm me, regardless of what you're gonna think of me and you can either like me or you can not like me, and that's going to be your problem.
Speaker 2:Where it's like that is such a valuable thing to have as a kid.
Speaker 1:Where it's like totally to be able to carry that with you is the difference of knowing who your people are, though, because, like I didn't have a hard time doing that when we first started going to the village church and we were at a couple's night out and all the guys were standing around and I sleeped my way in, like, oh, like, oh, you guys have to leave early. Where are you going? Like, oh, hockey. Oh, you play hockey interesting you need another person.
Speaker 4:I think that's different though, because, like, when you're in a setting like that in a in a I don't want to call it a congregation, but there's like a common denominator yeah.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:Whereas, like when you're talking about like a party or like a social, it's like your only real common denominator is McDougal.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:And you're kind of like I don't know like what level of whatever is is kind of here and and yeah, it could be intimidation or it could be whatever. So, yeah, yeah, it could be intimidation or it could be whatever. So, yeah, I think I think it is. I think it's very difficult. I have social anxiety, so like when I'm put into those types of situations I don't want to be there at all, but I can turn it on if, given the opportunity yeah I just find it so intimidating and scary that I'm like I think most people do.
Speaker 1:I think so too, I think so too I thought it was neat, just because I put myself in the circumstance that my kids are often put into yeah where you don't think about it.
Speaker 1:The same way, when you're with your kids like my son going or your kids going to soccer they're going to be on a team with a bunch of people that they don't know and like the anxiety that that brings for a kid, that they don't even know what anxiety is at that age or what they're feeling. They know they like soccer but they're nervous and why. Or that first day of school, like. But to put yourself into those uncomfortable situations as an adult, to remind yourself what it feels like for your kid to go through those experiences, because sometimes it can just be like, yeah, just go, it's fun. Why not? Like, just go make friends, it's easy, right, but is it like, could you just go make a friend?
Speaker 2:like well, and there's an element of that like being an example of it. If you want your kids to do it where it's like you're at soccer with your kids and striking up a conversation with another set of the parents that are there and right, just even just having a chat with them and letting your kids kind of see that, because then you are being the example of what you're wanting them to go out, yeah, that's not fair. Your daughter is a social butterfly she is, but even she has a bit of those still insecurities and fears initially.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I am like I'm always super impressed with her ability to do that. She's really easy to do it with like complete strangers as like walking by, yeah, which I don't love, but she just loves saying hello to people and like how's your day? Type of thing. But yeah, when we still go into those social situations still, she'll still have a little bit that reserved for a second. But as soon as somebody, somebody opens up the door, then she's like oh, 100, we're friends now. Like, yeah, best friends for life I'll never forget.
Speaker 4:When she came to aubrey's birthday party, she must have been like two or or three Right, and I'm like on the back she goes hey, how are you? And I was like I'm amazing.
Speaker 3:How are you?
Speaker 2:She's like not bad.
Speaker 4:What are you? Who are you? And I was like I'm Mark, this is my house. She goes oh, this is your house.
Speaker 3:Like so, like just so innocent, can I?
Speaker 4:give you, and then the rest of the time she's like this is his house, this is his house.
Speaker 1:You tell her that yeah, I got to play with brian's kids for a little bit today and it was so much fun. They're so adorable, um, but you can feel that vibe of the beginning of like, okay, who are you?
Speaker 2:like we've seen each other.
Speaker 1:I feel like I know you, like, but I don't know you. And then we play for a bit. They come down, they're running around screaming, having fun, and then his youngest comes over and I was like, can I pick you up? I'm like, can I flip you upside down? And he was just kind of looking at me and then he just starts arching his back back.
Speaker 4:He's like I'm not saying yes, but I'm saying yes, Not allowed to talk to strangers but there's signs here we go. This is so cute, this is so fun.
Speaker 1:I miss so much that little age Like. He is just so freaking cute right now. Three, oh yeah, oh three. I think three is the perfect age it is.
Speaker 4:That's where Mav is.
Speaker 3:It is incredible, it's awesome. It gets crazy, though, yeah.
Speaker 1:Did we forget that part?
Speaker 3:It's like yeah, in our house it's not the terrible twos, it's like the three, like crazy three, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe it's four, that's better.
Speaker 1:I mean, no, it's great, it's like the best Threenager is that what they call?
Speaker 3:it, yeah, hilarious and cute, but they really start getting their voice when they're three Right, and it's loud. Yeah, it's loud, but it's great, it's great.
Speaker 4:For my son. This is all the credit to my wife. She really lets him feel his emotions. So when he has really big feelings now it's really cool to watch him process and like ask for the time to process. So he could be like super upset and you're like like normally be like what's wrong and like people like whatever kids just kind of like keep going or whatever. But now, like all Robin does and I've started doing it too is like you just come down and ask him if you can have a hug and he'll give you a hug and then he tells you he's like I don't know what's wrong and it's frustrating and you're like bro, like you.
Speaker 4:I'm like, I'm like bro, like you are light years ahead of your time right now it's cute it's so cool to see like the things that they pick up on and like when they're the youngest sibling, they look up to their other siblings so much just like see pieces of them in there and pieces of I don't know. Anyways, you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, speaking of kids telling you what they need. We went to a park after dinner the other day and the kids had been a little whiny all day long.
Speaker 3:Just a little pieces of retired little pieces of shit.
Speaker 4:Yes, absolutely my daughter aria, they're playing the pos episode tag on the playground and they're playing grounders and she goes to climb up this fuck is grounders.
Speaker 1:It sounds like a drug it's like that's like an old game.
Speaker 3:Man, close your eyes grounders is like one of the og park games. Yeah, tag.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like tag, but you have to close your eyes when you're on the structure. It's very dangerous. Anyways she goes to run up the slide to get them. She goes to step on it and slips and eats it on the slide.
Speaker 4:Of course she does. Her eyes are closed. Yeah, my wife's ridiculous scheme I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 1:My wife and I's first reaction is the laugh. But we stifle it hard and look at each other and they're holding our laugh down deep inside.
Speaker 4:Sounds like you're the pieces of shit.
Speaker 1:But kids getting hurt is hilarious. It's not. Is it your kid? Yeah, it's like it. It's not funny at all If you hadn't seen it. It's funny.
Speaker 4:You can't have to be there when you're talking about your kid potentially having a concussion. You're letting them run around the park blindfolded and then laugh at them when they fall down. Anyways, it's not funny.
Speaker 1:She hurts herself and she's like on the slide, like ow, ow, ow, like crying and in pain, and we're doing the whole like kind of sit back and just let her see how it's going to go and what she needs, and I kind of like we make eye contact and she's still crying and she's more of the theatrical actress as well and she's like are you kidding me? Neither of you are gonna go. I got up and walked over and I'm like are, are you okay? She's like she'll tell you what she needs.
Speaker 2:Are you kidding me?
Speaker 4:I'm with her. I like I'm speechless.
Speaker 1:It was one of those like you want to see if they're going to get over it, if they're like actually hurt, hurt or not, but she very much wanted the attention of us coming over to check on her.
Speaker 2:Oh, coop took a badminton racket right in the head yesterday. That was. That was a good one and it was after almost drowning in the pool. He had a rough day yesterday. Interesting, forgot about all that. I feel like we had him in the pool. He's done swimming lessons so and he's got his ear thing right now. So right now he's got a perforated eardrum so he can't get a wet, so he's got like a wax thing plug in his ear and like a headband around his head to keep the water out.
Speaker 2:So just in the shallow end you got to keep your head above the water. He's playing, he's doing great, he's having a good time. He had a floaty and then he got a little too close to the deep end. Floaty slipped away. He tried to grab it, got too close to the edge and, as you know with pools, where it goes down it's the slipperiest thing that exists on the planet.
Speaker 2:So he started to go, had his freak out, justifiably, uh. So I jumped in, grabbed him and he was okay. So I did the whole grab him and just said, hey, you did great, you were keeping your head up. You said help. You said dad, it all went well. And then we played babington almost immediately after and he was on his cousin.
Speaker 4:you team, oh, you hit him.
Speaker 2:No, I didn't. His cousin was on his team and there were two of them against me and he ventured a little too close to his cousin. He took a big swing with the racket and, just right above the eye, just got him clean with the edge of it. I heard it, I was following the birdie, got it obviously, and got the point. But yeah, I heard the knock off the head and this, the silence first, and you're like, yeah, that was probably that's a good one yeah, that's a good end of full scream and cry.
Speaker 2:But he did, he did all right with it, he bounced back he got a hug and I was like hey, do you want to stop? He's like no, I want to keep playing like do you want an ice pack. No ice pack. I'm like why are you so against an ice pack? It's supposed to be the ouchie pack that fixes everything, not for cooper but you know what does fix everything?
Speaker 1:a regal ideas railing, it really fixes everything literally yeah if your grass isn't growing, regal ideas railing no, it's gonna solve everything. Okay, they're gonna love the look of your railing. They're not even gonna notice your grass if you have a killer view, your killer view, you can use crystal rail if you wanted to, and then nothing is gonna get between you and the view, but you're going to know, that your kids are going to be safe on the structure there are other railings out there that might come in at a cheaper price point a, what price a?
Speaker 1:cheaper price but they're using a lighter gauge aluminum. That just isn't safe. You can actually take the pickets and bend them out of the way. It's not safe regal ideas. They've got a patent picket locking system in their railing. They lock in place and they're strong. It is a very strong aluminum. They put their railings through a rigorous testing to make sure that it performs above and beyond code.
Speaker 4:I love the hand talking and the demonstrations boom.
Speaker 3:You dialed it in Great ad read Very convincing. Thank you, Regal. I feel like we owed them one.
Speaker 1:I feel like we've been slacking a little on some of the past reads.
Speaker 3:To be honest, I forget who sponsors this show. We're back down to just Regal.
Speaker 1:I've got to call Jeff Gill back though.
Speaker 4:Okay, he wants to call back, I'm going to give a shout out to Home Hardware and the group Home Hardware.
Speaker 3:They're great.
Speaker 4:I'm contractually not allowed to say that.
Speaker 1:Also, I've got talks going with head office Home Hardware as well.
Speaker 3:Maybe we can go up a notch, we'll see they're just really great people. We've got some things in the fire.
Speaker 1:They're burning, they're burning. They're great people. We just want some people to help us continue to grow this show.
Speaker 3:Shout out to Jeff Gill. I want to say that because that guy's going hard right now. I don't know if you see his Instagram at all. He is on a hip-hop journey right now. Apparently it was paused, he's bringing it back. He used to do this and now he's getting back into it. He posts a lot. He posts freestyles. He posts songs and beats that he it. But he posts a lot and he posts freestyles. He posts songs and beats that he makes.
Speaker 1:His mind is a beautiful place to live, Very very cool Quality stuff too, and he's very good it's awkward sometimes if you have a friend that's making something and you're like, yeah, it's totally good, but his is legit, he is legit, he's legit.
Speaker 3:He has buddies out east that he goes to see and uh make music with, and he showed us a couple of his tracks coming up that are awesome. So, uh, yeah, shout out to him for that.
Speaker 1:Like chasing a dream, absolutely yeah coming back to it I think it was cool because it's that like it's the dad finding his thing again yes, it's that thing that went on pause when you went into career mode and you went into dad mode and you lost yourself a little, and then it's like who am I?
Speaker 4:it's like that's who I was, and he's finding that for himself again, which I think is the creativity he left me a voice note like a, like I was texting him and he must have been driving so he, like he didn't text but he's the king of the voice but I played it and like robin was listening to my wife and then anyways it's like a 30 minute like hype video about how I'm amazing and he loves me it's just a beautiful human and robin goes who was that?
Speaker 4:and I was like, oh, that's jeff gill. And she goes, he. Is he a motivational speaker? She's like, I like, I'm pumped up like I, I already loved you, but I love you more his voice is. I'm like you should hear him like just spit hot fire for no reason, it's crazy him like just spit hot fire for no reason. It's crazy, absolutely crazy. And we met him through the podcast because he reached out. He was like I gotta make three new friends and he got four. That's what happens. You take a chance I don't.
Speaker 3:I don't answer fan facetime calls from anyone, but he he got me on facetime the other night. I was like, ah, what the hell how many people FaceTime you randomly Nobody. That's what I'm saying. If somebody did.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't answer. I wouldn't answer, just because I hate it.
Speaker 3:It's like so awkward for me, but that's how much I love you, jeff Yo.
Speaker 4:We haven't mentioned Brent Walker in a long time.
Speaker 2:I mentioned a lot of I really like.
Speaker 3:Brent. Brent knows, he knows, he knows nothing.
Speaker 4:He knows nothing because we don't talk about him.
Speaker 1:Except he knows what's on sale at Costco, that's true, he's a Costco member, for sure.
Speaker 2:I'm a Costco member.
Speaker 1:Boom roasted.
Speaker 2:It would be a good thing to have Gil on for it, though, gil, and Brent.
Speaker 4:I wish them both on roasted. That would be a good thing to have uh gill on, for, though is gill and brent just a guest episode where none of us show up that would be kind of brilliant
Speaker 2:they show up and the recordings are already going Next week. Have fun, boys.
Speaker 1:You've got four new dads. Figure it out. Well, she goes to run up the slide to get them. She goes to step on it and slips and eats it on the slide.
Speaker 4:Of course she does. Her eyes are closed my wife's most ridiculous scheme I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 1:My wife and I's first reaction is the laugh, but we stifle it hard and look at each other and we're holding our laugh down deep inside.
Speaker 4:Sounds like you're the pieces of shit we are.
Speaker 1:But kids getting hurt is hilarious.