The Real Dad Podcast
Each week, these four fathers cover a wide range of "Dad" related topics, from the joys of watching your child grow up to the challenges of balancing work and family life. With their unique blend of humor and authenticity, Dave, Joey, Brian, and Mark provide a refreshing perspective on what it means to be a dad in today's world.
Tune in for the laughs, stay for the heartfelt conversations about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. Whether you're a seasoned dad or a soon-to-be father, "The Real Dad Podcast" is the perfect place to connect with other dads and get the support you need.
Join us on this journey of fatherhood, and subscribe to "The Real Dad Podcast" today!
The Real Dad Podcast
What Will They Love? The Unexpected Joy of Watching Your Children Discover Themselves
Ever had that moment when you suddenly realize your child has become their own person? That's exactly what we explore in this episode, sharing the hilarious and heartwarming ways our kids surprise us with their emerging personalities and unexpected passions.
Mark takes us through a weekend of revelations - from his three-year-old son becoming inexplicably obsessed with bull riding after a chance encounter at a restaurant ("Not now mom, I'm watching bull riding!") to his daughter secretly mastering ballet and stunning everyone as the lead in her recital. These moments of discovery aren't just entertaining; they're windows into who our children are becoming when we're not looking.
We dive deep into the world of kids and sports, questioning our motivations as dads for enrolling them in activities and debating the fine line between healthy encouragement and toxic pressure. Why do sports mean so much to us? Is it about reliving our glory days, teaching valuable life skills, or simply providing opportunities for our kids to find what lights them up?
The conversation takes an unexpectedly touching turn when we reflect on our own childhood experiences with sports and our fathers' involvement (or lack thereof). We discover how these memories shape our approach to parenting today, particularly in how we show up for our kids' activities and handle the crucial moments after games or performances.
Whether you're cheering from the sidelines, helping with homework, or sitting through countless bull riding videos on YouTube, this episode reminds us that parenting isn't about shaping our kids into who we want them to be—it's about creating space for them to reveal who they truly are, and the privilege we have in witnessing those magical moments of self-discovery.
Mav is literally lock-eyed on this screen. He goes dad, what's that, what is that? And I was like, oh, it's bull riding. And he's like, why is the bull in the cage? And I'm like they're going to tie. He goes, they're tying him to the bull. I'm like, yeah, dude, they have to ride the bull for eight seconds. Is that a long time? If you're on a bull, it's a real long time. So then my wife goes Mav, what do you want for dinner? And he goes not now, mom, I'm watching bull riding. We're on day three right now. This kid bull riding on YouTube. That's all he wants to do.
Speaker 3:All he wants to do.
Speaker 2:He's locked in, he's in love oh my God, it's so funny.
Speaker 1:I'm in awe and I feel like I just discovered who my kids were this weekend. It's wild. I'm assuming as they get older, that happens more and more.
Speaker 4:Oh, you mean it's just going to change and confuse you more often, oh God.
Speaker 2:If you got some time to relax your mind.
Speaker 3:Come have breakfast with the Real Dad Podcast.
Speaker 4:Welcome to the Real Dad Podcast. I'm Dave and in grade 12 I won uh, the loss of discus championship. No way, yeah, first place, not a chance discus. Spin around, throw the disc. Nice, you make that noise, can't confirm?
Speaker 2:uh, I'm joey, I'm trying to scramble here. I learned that I have four different situations with my four wisdom teeth. So one's pressing up against one, one's completely in, one is sideways and the other one doesn't even exist.
Speaker 4:Your mouth's fucked, yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:That's my four wisdom teeth. Are you in pain, just for the one that's pushing up against the other tooth.
Speaker 1:Okay, my name is Mark mark I think most of your teeth.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's all teeth related. That's what I'm going through lately.
Speaker 2:I'll give it to you.
Speaker 1:I'll give it to you I don't like dentists, so my name is mark um. June is men's mental health month and I just signed on to be cam h's ambassador for june cool, thank you very much I love what is cam h don't put me on this, okay is it cmha or different?
Speaker 3:c-a-m-h cam h yeah, which is still mental health yeah canadian association of mental health.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go. Sure, that's what it is, yeah it's in and around it's I didn't want to mess it up, that's fair.
Speaker 1:But yes, it is in and around there and, uh, I'm. I've already volun told them that the podcast will be involved and there's a whole bunch of stuff there. But I'm super excited, awesome, amazing.
Speaker 3:Hi, I'm Brian. My fun fact is that I get to fly west for the first time ever. Hey.
Speaker 1:Friday morning. Friday morning, where are you going?
Speaker 3:We are going to Calgary as a family Nope, just Maddie and I for a wedding. Yes, her, her side, and yeah it's going to be a nice few days away. Yeah, that's going to be amazing Hopefully get up to Banff for a day, yeah. Do it, it's supposed to be a little chilly, so it's worth it.
Speaker 4:It's pack warm, but yeah, we're excited. Nice, that's very exciting, yeah.
Speaker 3:I've never been uh west of london so there you go I float. I've been in california, but uh not in canada not in canada.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's exciting, so I'm pumped joey and I got to do some trips out there with regal ideas, but it felt like we didn't actually get to see them one. We went during winter, so we were in like winnipeg and there's minus like 50 degrees outside. You step outside and your nostrils instantly freeze, like it's that cold of, just like you're in arctic yeah um, and then we went to oh, what was the one?
Speaker 2:colonna colonna that was kind of cool, that was gorgeous
Speaker 4:but it was just in like the it was. They would say that it was in their like ugly season, because nothing had really grown in yet and winter wasn't there it was just yeah it was just gray yeah but yeah, we just did those little stop offs, so it's one of those, like you dipped your toes in them but I'm like I want to see them, so I'm glad you get to spend some time out there yeah, bamf is gorgeous.
Speaker 2:I got to do that once with we went out for a wedding out there and it was unbelievable. It was in the summertime, so I'm sure there's any season is going to be amazing out there.
Speaker 1:But yeah, we got to do the gondolas up to the top of the mountains and walk around up there and see the landscape and it's beautiful yeah, I went to calgary last year and, uh, I was doing a speech and then I had like the downtime, right, and it's always been on my bucket list. So I like text robin. I was like, uh, I really want to go see the lake, I really want to go see the lake.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, I remember you saying that she's like she's like just just go without me, then I guess I was like oh it's a different season like it's winter, we'll go in the summer and I like, yeah, I booked it and I stopped in banff and it was like you get to experience every single season on the way it's like it was beautiful by the airport and then it like white out conditions, as you get up, it's just, it's such a magical place, you have to go.
Speaker 4:Brian. You and your wife have done some traveling together, though before kids do. You guys travel well together, like are you in sync on the things that you like to do?
Speaker 3:it's the best version of us. Is it really? Oh yeah, I love traveling with her. She's a lot more chill when we're traveling so just, uh, yeah, just way less responsibilities. Uh, she loves, she loves to plan, which I'm not a planner, so but it's a good like give and take there does she pretend to not plan, but she's actually planned it.
Speaker 3:Oh, look at us, we found our way here anyways, reservation for two t-shirts with our names on them, yeah she I mean usually all she books all the airbnbs ahead of time. So it's like you're kind of tied to those right schedules, but other than that, it's pretty chill, which is great. Uh, yeah, we love to travel together. I wish it happened a lot more often yeah yeah, it's gonna be great.
Speaker 4:We've been talking about that at home a lot recently. Um, the kids really want to go on a trip. Like we want to go on a trip. So we're like actively trying to figure out how to save to do something because we want to take them. But we were driving to my sister's this weekend and we were going down one of the highways and the kids saw the CN tower and we're like, oh, the CN tower. Look, we can see the CN tower and it was like so cool to them.
Speaker 4:I'm like it's right in our backyard and we've like barely ever take them to the city, like we haven't taken them up the cn tower yet. Yeah, so many fucking tourists come daily and do these trips and it's so close and we don't take them.
Speaker 4:Kids don't need much yeah, a hotel is like super exciting to them yeah so we were thinking about doing a day into the city. But it just made me think of like I wonder how they because I growing up I didn't get to do any family trips really like we would go on some trips that you could drive to um, but I wanted to see our kids in other cultures and like the trips that we have done have been to like a resort, so you're kind of just in like a playground area basically, um. But seeing them how they looked at at the CN Tower made me wonder, like what would they think of structures in Europe? Like to travel around Europe and see these old buildings? Would that be interesting to them? And how do you do that to keep kids interested in stuff like?
Speaker 1:that where it's not boring. Yeah, when you're like seven and like 10 and 12,'re like fuck this man, I just want my bed, yeah this is cool, but like you're not gonna respect the you know the buildings or, like the the history there right, yeah, it wouldn't be, any more exciting than like seeing the cn tower exactly, or like casaloma or something like that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right, yeah that's actually a good tester, just like see how your kids do somewhere that's close to home, yeah and you haven't spent thousands of dollars on maybe start there, yeah, start with the city.
Speaker 2:You can drive to in 45 minutes take them to cedar park and they will just love life.
Speaker 4:That's a great time I think about it because my sister, when she got old enough, she traveled around a lot. She did europe, she did africa, vietnam, like all the different places, um, and I feel like she has a very different perspective on the world because of that and I think she like almost thinks of us as like limited in what we know, where it's like what do you mean? You guys like you don't know, you haven't experienced any of the world. I'm like I know I've just experienced canada, america, and a resort in the dominican which is kind of like canada and america, just with different people there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true, worldview can be important yeah it.
Speaker 4:I'm like I'm looking forward to my retirement and where we can hopefully travel and do some of those things like it just has me missing that like cultural element of my life. I think I want a little culture. You know, that's fair. I can't wait for that.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll get there one day, boys.
Speaker 4:But uh, speaking of going to see my sister, she had the baby yes, congrats, and little milo is here milo milo he's so cute so we got to hold a baby. It's been so long since I've held a baby and like a fresh, like newborn baby, just so cute everything was good reverse snips healthy no, definitely not um, and all my kids got to hold them too.
Speaker 4:So like even my daughter, aria, was just like what's different about this one? Like she's just old enough to remember it, and like she got to spend some of the most time as of the kids holding them, and she was just like staring at him the whole time.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna love you so much, and I'm like oh, it was so cute to see, but my sister is in like the early years of kids because her first child is three, so my sister's older she is. If I'm she's 43 okay 44, oh my gosh, so she's older to having kids she did all that traveling.
Speaker 1:She did exactly. That is the difference.
Speaker 4:And then her first child, who's three now, is like very high energy. It's a boy, loves to play, has been the center of their attention and world for the past three years. And now has this little boy and she's asking us like oh man, how did you do this? Like, how did you like breastfeed or feed the baby? Well, they wanted to do something like how did you entertain them while you're well doing all these other things? And then we look at each other and we're like I don't know, what did we do? You realize how much of a blur those first like years, like the first year of the little baby's year, is, when you're like managing and navigating everything.
Speaker 1:it's wild especially with the second or third kid right like it just becomes even that much more of a blur, because you really are just in survival mode for most of that 100 yeah, I, we are like we're still obviously in it, but we're on the way out of it and it's like such a good feeling to like I feel like honestly in the last two weeks is I'm starting to enjoy parenting, right, like I don't feel as much of like a trap or a burden, like I'm actually like they have their personalities, we can converse. Yeah, they are hilarious, right, they challenge me, like I challenge them and it's like I'm really really like enjoying it. But it's true, when you think back and you look and you're like, oh my god, how did we get here?
Speaker 1:like for fun fact, my, my, um. I don't know why I said fun fact.
Speaker 2:It's not that interesting, uh my son's potty training for the 11th year and he's three, and so he is now.
Speaker 4:He's like hey, everyone, I pooped and then he'll take his own diaper off with the poop in it.
Speaker 1:Oh, no and no but he's like, he's great at it okay, he's he's very like he's dialed in and he's because he's old enough to do the stuff. He just thinks it's hilarious. Yeah, so the other day he's like hey, dad, I pooped and I was like okay, bud, like just go do what you got to do. He's like no, I want you to do it. And then normally I'd be like like fighting, and now I'm like this could very well be the last shitty diaper I ever have to change yeah and I like walked up and embraced it and I was like I kind of was like sad wiping this shit off of his little cheeks.
Speaker 4:I never thought this day would come, and robin was like what?
Speaker 1:like are you okay? And I was like I think this very well could be the last shitty diaper.
Speaker 2:She's like well, I've done three today, so I don't think so you live in that nostalgia, my friend, but but where the yeah, the point is?
Speaker 1:the point is I can see the line. Yeah, I can see it, yeah you know, yeah, and it's it, it. It goes by and it's so cliche and it's like it's the most true statement.
Speaker 2:it does go by, so it's so cliche, but it's the most true statement.
Speaker 1:It does go by so fast. It's so cliche, but then like one minute, you're sitting there and you're like they do the dumbest things, like Mav, my son. The swimming lessons has been like a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this was the last week of swimming lessons and he, so the thing that drives me crazy is his instructor is a pushover. Yeah, so he's like no, alan, I run, I'm actually teaching you how to do swimming lessons and this is what we're doing, and alan just runs with it. And so we go to the swimming lessons. It's his last one.
Speaker 1:He's all hyped about it and then boom, alan's not there oh, it's this guy michael and my son does not do very well with new people. He does not like that. So we walk up and this, this guy's like it's weird because he looks like alan, but he ain't alan, just call me alan.
Speaker 3:He's like okay, mav, let's come in and let's uh do the thing.
Speaker 1:And right away my son starts crying. I'm like it's okay, bud, let's, let's do this. So he takes let's uh do the thing. And right away my son starts crying. I'm like it's okay, bud, let's, let's do this. So he takes my hand, walk around the thing and I'm like do you want to jump in or do you want to? Do you want to, like, go in through the thing? And he's like I want to jump in. And I'm like okay, michael's there, he, you can jump to michael. He's like, no, I don't want to, dad. And I was like yo, you got this, though you can do this. Like you love swimming, right, well, that's why we're here. And he's like so he jumps in, okay and then I'm like I'm just gonna go sit on the bench.
Speaker 1:I'm right here if you need me, okay, so then michael's like doing the thing, whatever icebreakers and stuff and then you can see michael be like okay, bud, come to me where. When it was alan, if he didn't want to, he was like no, we're just gonna play toys over here and I'll just swim holding on to the edge. Long story short, by the end of this class michael had this kid swimming by himself. He's paddling like he has like a life thing on and I'm like your strict rules about filming at in a pool right, yeah, things did not give a fuck I'm crying, I'm like filming for robbing, because no one's gonna believe me if I don't fucking
Speaker 1:tell you anything and he's like he's throwing these balls and then he's swimming to them. This michael guy's like do your back floats. He's dunking underwater and like my point is alan was the problem 100 these kids this generation are pushovers and like
Speaker 3:it just doesn't work.
Speaker 1:My point is, when I say it goes by so fast is like you're in the struggle, you're in the shit and these swimming lessons are like they feel like such a burden and you're like, oh my fucking God, I don't want to do this anymore. And then they do the dumbest thing, like let go of the edge, right, and they start swimming, and no one else in that pool gave a shit no one cared, no one did anything and I am like the happiest I have been in years watching this kid like just come and do this thing that he's been trying right, and it the words.
Speaker 1:It's indescribable how much, how much joy and and stuff it brings me. Yeah, you know what I'm saying and that's what like that. Obviously. That's what makes parenting worth it yeah um, yeah, it flies by it does.
Speaker 3:Going back to what your sister was saying, that was like I'm not telling her what to do, but like you can't entertain your kid yeah, when like when you have two kids, you can't entertain them all the time. Like if you're one of those parents that feels like they need to entertain your kids all the time sorry yeah, just give yourself a break you're setting the bar too high. Yeah, they're gonna they're gonna need to learn how to play on them like by themselves but it's that's probably the best.
Speaker 1:Advice too is like it's okay for kids to be bored, yeah, and when they come to you and say, like what do I do you just like I'm bored. I wonder how you're gonna fix that right and let them go and fix it, because they will like it's it's crazy, very stubborn, strong boy she's got her hands full also that timing of like, because I think of, uh, when you have kids, or the gap between your kids.
Speaker 4:Yeah so my kids, we were two years between our first and second and then three years between our second and third. Okay, um, but at three is usually when you're starting to lose that nap.
Speaker 4:And if, when we were at two kids and the gap being two, my first son was still napping, you count on that nap yeah, so it gives you that break where because, like when you have that newborn, you're feeding so often and taking care of them so often, they sleep so little, like especially those first two months, you are getting like hour, two hours here and there. It's so broken you're trading off who's sleeping or who's not. Basically right. And my sister's husband, he can function well without sleep. He can have some coffee, have some tea, keep keep the party going kind of guy right.
Speaker 4:My sister does not function well with no sleep and she's having a hard go at it because her son decided to drop that nap right when the new baby comes, of course, and yeah, so she's just like I don't. When do you get it? Sometimes when you put the kid to bed? You just got to go to bed with them at like eight o'clock, even though it feels early, and just get that couple hours until the next feeding. But it's just.
Speaker 4:I've had three moments over the past little while that have reminded me just kind of like how far I've come in parenting and with our family, because that, with my sister just seeing them in that early parenthood stage again then, when we were at the oshawa zoo, you see all these families walking around, pregnant women pushing the strollers of the kid inside of a stroller and then another kid towing behind and all these little families doing their things. And then, uh, today coming home from my son's soccer, there was a family, a family of three, struggling to cross the road and it was like the mom had one kid strapped on to like the jolly jumper type or the whatever the harness. Um, the dad's got a stroller in one hand and then the other kid is on like one of those push cart type things and they're trying to cross like a street while the light goes green and it's like the mom starts taking off.
Speaker 2:The dad's got one hand back here one hand over here, kids going into traffic and like they were just struggling so hard to make it 20 feet across the road.
Speaker 4:Been there, you're just like I just watched them cross this and I was smiling to myself and I'm like I've got my 12 year old beside me. I'm like this is bizarre, like it's so weird.
Speaker 1:That's like a metaphor of what that section of life is we only got 20 feet to go, but it's gonna be hell to get there you see the video of the guy the two dads going up then down the escalator? Have you seen that? So the one dad is going up the escalator and it shows him he's like bags under his eyes. He's so tired. He's got like coffee, diapers, wipes and like uh, I don't know whatever bottles or whatever and and his hands are like this and he's like looks completely beat to shit. He's going up the escalator and then coming down the escalator is like another dad with six pack.
Speaker 1:He's got a playstation 5 in his hand and he's like he's coming down the thing and he's like smiling and stuff like that and they lock eyes and the tired dad's just like what are you doing? And then the other dad's just like it gets so much easier.
Speaker 2:He's like going down yeah, that's amazing, you get there I don't know, man it's.
Speaker 1:it's so cool to see my daughter had dance.
Speaker 4:Oh, I saw your wife's pictures.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she had a dance recital thing and for the longest time we didn't think she was going to find her thing Right and she used to fight, going to dance. And then this one dance recital, just like she was the lead, oh wow, yeah, and nobody knew she just like she brian'd us she's like sweatless accomplishment under the rug every day at dinner we're like how are things? And she's just like not bad. And then she, we get there and she's like uh, all these parents are like yeah, aubrey's like really good at ballet.
Speaker 4:And we're like who rich aubrey there's more than one, say there's more than one aubrey in the class.
Speaker 2:She didn't give you the walk of the way in, she's like okay, guys, don't freak out, but she's a pretty big deal and I'm like I look at her, I'm like you're the lead in the thing.
Speaker 1:She's like I'm like this is news, like when I say how's your day, how was class? And you go. This is the shit, I'm looking for so anyways I'm like I'm fucking fired up, ready to go like my kid's a fucking star she's over there like this is why I didn't tell you, probably, and she's over there like.
Speaker 2:This is why I didn't tell you Probably, but the confidence we're saving web domain names.
Speaker 1:He's got four cameras set up on Tripod. I have it all I have it all.
Speaker 3:Bryson's on call. He's got some footage.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so we're sitting there and they did a Harry Potter thing, which I thought was cool, because she's at the age where, like I didn't like Harry Potter growing up. My wife didn't either, but she's in that age of a thing. I'm like that's a cool series for you to like, get into.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And so this thing happens.
Speaker 1:and she it was the coolest thing to watch her in her element turn on Like I don't know where she would get the charismatic kind of dramatic things, but she like like they're all standing there and then the lights come on and she like pulls up this wand and looks at it all, like intensely, and then like floats around and ballet style and like taps all the other kids on the heads and they all kind of come to life and then she like lives again and I was like literal goosebumps watching these seven-year-olds butcher this dance. But like she's, she's doing this, whatever this thing is, and her foot's like on point and she's like she was so, so proud. And like my son is three. He's a three year old boy. We're in a theater, it's dark and he's just sitting there, mesmerized.
Speaker 3:That's nice.
Speaker 1:And not fighting. It was so awesome. And we get her out of there and we're like how was it? She's like not bad. I'm like are you?
Speaker 1:kidding me I've done better better if allison didn't mess up that step but like now she's really into ballet and she wants to do it and it's like a thing. Night and day we go out to celebrate because this is the same day mav does the swimming lessons. Then we go right into this big day discovery of this rehearsal. And so we're like, okay, we're going to go to uh montana's for uh, for a thing, and they have bull riding on there. Oh wow, dude, I'm not kidding you. When I say on there, I feel like I've told this story and everybody assumes there's a bull riding like happening in the restaurant. It's on TV.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's what I thought. Perfect. I thought we were going to have Mark riding a bull.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is Mark's moment to shine now. Basically my three-year-old. All I want to do is ride a bull now. Mav is literally lock-eyed on the screen. He goes dad. What's that?
Speaker 2:What is that?
Speaker 1:And I was like, oh, it's bull riding. He's like where? I'm like I think they're in Nashville bud. And he's like no, why is the bull in the cage? And I'm like they're going to tie he goes, they're tying him to the bull. I'm like yeah, dude, they have to ride the bull for eight seconds. Is that a long time If you're on a bull?
Speaker 3:it's a real long time.
Speaker 1:So then, Robin, my wife goes, Mav, what do you want for dinner? And he goes not now, mom, I'm watching bull riding. And he looks up when I tell you we're on day three right now. This kid bull riding on YouTube.
Speaker 3:That's all he wants to do all he wants to do.
Speaker 2:He's in love. Oh my god, it's so funny to see like he's just his own person.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I keep saying it, but like I'm in awe and I feel like I just discovered who my kids were this weekend, right it's wild and things, I'm assuming.
Speaker 4:As they get older that happens more and more I mean it's just gonna change and confuse you more often like the.
Speaker 4:Thing they're like even we joked about like the, because we're getting towards the end of school, right, and at the beginning of school it's like the what do you want to be when you grow up? And you hold the little card and take the picture. And now it's like. You're like do you still want to be that thing? And they're like oh, what did I say? I wanted to. And then the kids were talking about it this morning and it's like oh weird. I said I wanted to be that. I don't want to do that anymore.
Speaker 4:I want to do this and it's like everything changes like year by year, like the interests. I think that was one of the frustrating things with any of the kids, because they get into something and then they get all that stuff for birthday presents and then they're like I'm bored with that now and they get over it and they move on to something else and it's like oh my god, it's people so like, so many, but you have so many things of this now what do you do with it all?
Speaker 4:so they just keep changing. So you think you've got it figured out today and I'm gonna cheer for you for that.
Speaker 2:But you know, tomorrow, next weekend, a couple months from now, who knows?
Speaker 1:celebrate the wins while you have, yeah, you know absolutely sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 2:No, I was just gonna be a different thing entirely, but I'm glad you said that, because we're coming.
Speaker 1:I've had soccer tonight so we were like, coming off of that, which was like a win for him, he had another big win. But then right beside the soccer there's like a full-on skateboard park and I won't let him go on the skateboard park because it's concrete and he's got the cleats on so it's like super slippery. So I'm like, no, you can't go on the skateboard park, I think. And then he's like I'm doing it anyways and he runs here he does.
Speaker 1:That's what he does he breathes in and he just says I'm doing it anyways, and he yells at the top of his lungs. So this is a three-year-old kid and we're in public like there's lots of three-year-olds kids and he's the only one yelling hardcore parkour and he's running up and down these ramps.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hardcore parkour and I was like oh god, and then, so he goes.
Speaker 1:I'm like mav, we're gonna get you some ice cream. You did so good at soccer. And then he's like can you get me a skateboard? Dad, I really want to skateboard. Robin's like between skateboarding and bull riding, I don't think I can handle this like I just can't handle it. Broken bow. Yeah, those are mom's oh man the skateboard parks are terrifying.
Speaker 4:To watch your kids you want to test yourself as a parent to see whether or not you're up tight or not watch your kid scooter or skateboard at a skateboard park. It is terrifying it is awful experience but you'll be proud of them, like they might come out of there unscathed, without an injury.
Speaker 4:Bring band-aids just in case, because somebody's gonna skin themselves oh yeah, but I remember watching like my son and daughter like up at a top and like they're looking at the drop in, being like, oh boy, like they're scared, talking themselves up to it and then they drop down into it, oh my god the light up on their face because of that adrenaline rush and it's like okay
Speaker 3:because you got to commit to them oh yeah, um.
Speaker 4:But yeah, we're full into soccer season. Now, in sports season, getting to the end of the school year, summer's here. Yeah, I just came from soccer today Same, and it was okay Monday's soccer day for us. I was laughing so hard at the dad's coaching from the sidelines. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 4:Because like when they're kids you might need to like redirect them or at least tell them which direction they need to go in. But they're like 12 year old. This my son's like 12, uh, no, so it's like 13, 14 that he's in now. Um, so, the grade sevens and eights, and these dads on the sidelines. I was just sitting there with my mouth shut, just smiling and listening to them. It's a big field at this age and they're just, they're yelling across the orders in the most specific ways too, but they don't know any of the other kids. It's like hey, number 11, you need to be over here. Number two, you got to cover that guy. Do you see that guy? Keep an eye on him? Like there there's a corner kick and he's like yelling at his son to get into this like most specific spot, as if he was controlling the corner kick to come directly to him.
Speaker 2:Meanwhile it dribbles in from the corner like goes nowhere and it's like oh I'm like really glad you had your kid in that spot. Yeah, but it was just like these.
Speaker 4:There were mainly these two dads that just could not, and I was just sitting there just giggling away and I'm like I feel like I would be that person and like you, would expect me to be that person and if I was coaching, I would be that person.
Speaker 2:But that's the job of the coach. Right, but that's the job of the coach yeah, but if it was hockey.
Speaker 4:But even like so I think back to when I played as a player you don't hear those people, it's true. You don't hear the people in the stands, I guess. Yeah, my dad never yelled. I remember one of the guys who played on me. You could always hear his mom. She was very loud. But you are zoned in on the game and, if anything, you have your ears tuned to your players and your coach. So it's like these dads are yelling and they're yelling just for themselves. It's as if they're watching like a maple leaf game and they're yelling at the screen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was gonna say these are the same guys, that probably do yell at the tv because they think they can change the outcome of the game yes, yeah, um.
Speaker 4:So yeah, it's just. I find it hilarious to watch them.
Speaker 2:And it starts at the young age because they're at like a. I came from soccer as well. This is coop second night's, second night of real soccer. So it's the U6. So it's five and six year olds and they're still those. Dads and moms are still out there barking orders at their kids and again, like you said sometimes yes, it's warranted. You got to go the other way, you're headed in the wrong direction, but it's just the constant yelling to tell the kid exactly like just let them be out there and play tell the kid exactly like, just let them be out there and play.
Speaker 2:They're just all getting into a mob and kicking at the ball and, like my father-in-law, arliss he's one of them, and I love him to death for it but he's got a deep voice too.
Speaker 2:So then every time he calls coop, my son is a little bit of a puppy. So then he stops everything he's doing and looks at pop and I'm like, dude, stop saying his name. Like just let him play the game. He's going for the ball, but he'll do this and he just, oh what. He just stops and looks over and now the ball's gone. So just let him go, he's fine.
Speaker 1:My favorite thing is my son. He's like he's a bubble baby, like he likes to have us by his side. So today was his first time where he was just like running up and down the field and he thinks he's the best. His confidence is like second to none. Where does he get that? I have no idea um but anyways, he like ran up and he thinks the point of soccer is to kick the ball once okay, and then?
Speaker 2:he's done, and then he's done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love so he runs over and he fucking boots the ball away. And then he turns, smiles and waves at robin and I. And then he comes running to the sidelines and we're like buddy, no, like you, gotta, you have to kick it several times to the net. He's like I have so much work though, I just need water. I need some water to break. So then he takes a sip and then he's like where is it? I'm like it's over there and he's like on it.
Speaker 3:And he runs over.
Speaker 1:Not kidding, he'll run and he'll go like he'll run around in circles, run, kicks the ball once and then turns big smile on his face and waves like he's the king. Did you see that, dad? I'm like, yeah, you sure did. Runs back. Your shift's not over bud. Yeah, it's just so much running.
Speaker 2:Oh man, one of the kids on Coop's team peeled off mid-play. They were moving one direction balls coming back another full tilt and just peeled left and Coach is like what are you doing? He's like I need a break.
Speaker 3:He sat down. I was like what are you doing? He's like I need a break. He sat down. I was like okay, there's that video of the kid who plays goalie for the first time, and he just leaves the game like.
Speaker 4:I need a break.
Speaker 3:Goalies don't get a break.
Speaker 4:You have to stay in there. He's like nope, I need a break.
Speaker 2:I discovered, though, that I think coop's gonna be a goalie.
Speaker 2:Goalie or a defenseman because he loves going back and like racing back to the net more than anything. He had one offensive chance and he had the opportunity tonight because he was one of the better ones on his team, because he's done a fair amount of soccer and apparently there's one kid on his team that's ridiculous that didn't show up today, so now it was all on coop so he was trying to carry the team but, god bless him, he's not that good yet, um, but loved getting back at the net. Like the other team had this kid who's clearly been playing soccer out of the womb because he was ridiculous and every time he'd break away and he was way faster than coop, but coop would just haul ass right behind him and like try to do the two-foot dive to try to make the saves too.
Speaker 2:He made a couple of saves on the kid and immediately bounce out and be like I saved it Perfect.
Speaker 1:It's funny. So how we broke it. This is the second week, third week, of Mav playing, so the last week, first week, he wouldn't pull on the field at all, right? Last week it was Siena squad. Like I was doing the build downtown, I had to leave early so I could make it to his soccer, but his grandparents took him Right. So, downtown, I had to leave early so I could make it to his soccer, but his grandparents took him right.
Speaker 1:So he, his grandparents are a little bit more like your sink or swim kind of thing, so he was out there, but the furthest he would go was the goalie, right. So they were like you have to play, like he, he wanted to play. He played net the whole entire time and when the ball would come in, he'd like get down in the stance and like he, he loves it, like he loves to play, and that was his thing all week. I'm gonna be goalie. I'm gonna be goalie, I'm gonna be right.
Speaker 1:So then when we got there this week that they were like who wants to be goalie? And like so many kids put up their hand, and I was like why didn't you put your hand up? He's like, wow, look at the competition right. So he was pissed because he stopped so many goals and he tried really hard and like, when they they weren't going, he would like stand there and like literally watch them. And then when people were coming, like he was, he was playing goalie the way that you're supposed to play, Right, and all these other kids are like pulling on the net or the pulling grass or like they're not paying attention, and that pissed him off more than anything.
Speaker 2:He's like I just want to play goalie.
Speaker 1:These guys don't even care.
Speaker 3:And I'm like you're fucking three bro. You're three years old. There's going to be a lot of that. You know what I mean. Like just oh man.
Speaker 1:And it's funny to see like one kid's laying down with their hands on her chin like this, just kicking her feet on her back, and her mom's like get off the ground.
Speaker 4:Get off the ground and she's just like. It's so funny the difference in do do we as dads have an unhealthy relationship with sports and our kids in sports as far as like, do we over glorify sports in general, I think about it with like how ridiculous contracts are in sports and how much we like invest even our own attention and time into watching sports when it really has no meaning to life, oh you mean just sports in general, sports in general.
Speaker 4:But then like, how much we like are so excited to watch our kids play a sport or do a thing, like we want them to get involved and be productive in sport. Is it a bad thing? Is it a good thing? Is it like, is it just for the sake of the kid doing it, or can it become too much? I think about it because, like one of our, I ran into an old buddy today and his son is 10 and playing baseball and it's the first year they're pitching and his son's got like a bit of a cannon, like he's throwing 65 mile an hour.
Speaker 1:How does one have a bit of a cannon? A cannon is a very short cannon. He's got a cannon Like an introductory cannon. I don't know if that's a thing. It's a mini cannon.
Speaker 3:He's heading in the right direction.
Speaker 4:He's throwing some fast pitches and he's pitching well, he's playing outfield and fast pitches and he's pitching well, he's playing outfield. And he was telling me this story about how the sun's out in the outfield and ball gets hit and it goes past him and it rolls all the way to the fence and he picks it up and he guns the guy out at second from the fence and is like whoa and he's like, oh, my shoulder's hurting. And then went around, played a little bit. He was playing in right field. Same thing gets the ball in right field and he chucks it from right field. The second base gets the guy out but then started crying so they took him to the doctor and everything.
Speaker 4:Like what do you mean? What's going on? And it's like a mini tommy john type thing situation where they're like he's developing like a problem with his um shoulder elbow, whatever the situation is right that now he's had to be sidelined for a bit while the team's playing. He still gets to bat but can't play it in the field. Right, but like it's how much? Like if the kid has a passion for it. But at what point is it pushing something that they shouldn't be necessarily?
Speaker 1:I don't know if it's pushing, necessarily, it's obviously circumstantial Right. But if all of his friends are from that ecosystem Right, then I think there's a healthy thing there. If you're living vicariously through your kid Right and pushing them and trying to get them through this injury.
Speaker 2:I think that's a little bit toxic. I think we could all say like there's definitely a very wrong way to do that right. Yeah, it's hard to know. I think those are always the louder things to see. I think the big thing for us, maybe, and to put out there, is like ask yourself this question as a dad. If you have your kids in sports, make sure you ask yourself this question like why am I putting them into your kids in sports? Make sure you ask yourself this question Like why am I putting them into sports?
Speaker 4:What do I?
Speaker 2:want them to get out of this Because it's something like for me. My motivation for my kids is I want them to have a team atmosphere, I want them to learn how to be with other kids and I want to see them or get them to learn what it's like to practice and succeed, because that's something that can translate through anything in life it does. It isn't just within sport, because that's true. Whatever you're going to do right, the more you try something, the more you practice something, the more you're going to get better at it and you can see it, and I think that sport does that so well. Where it's like, when you have the physicality, when you have the ability to be a little bit athletic, you can see results pretty quickly and we've seen that. That I think, no, with both my kids. Like I think I saw that with both of them. Where it's like when you stick to something and you try it, you can see how yeah, you did good there and like that is why, and how transferable that is to a ton of other skills.
Speaker 4:I was thinking about it and brought up that question because I've had a lot of parents now that were entering this season. They're like, oh, how are the kids Like, what are they in right now? What are your kids doing? Like it's almost an expectation of like, what sport are your kids playing? Now? Every like every kid has to be playing a sport.
Speaker 4:But then thinking of, like we had fearless Fred on quite a while ago and his kids aren't into sports but they're taking music lessons and doing stuff like that. Or mark's daughter who's in dance right like there are so many different avenues but I feel like the dad go-to is sport. Because I feel like a lot of our identity even is wrapped up in sport from growing up like at least for me, like I was athletic growing up so that was part of my identity. I was often the captain of my team or something like that. Like I, I grew and gained a lot of leadership skills through sports and like that I attribute a lot of who I am to the sports that I played and the teams that I had to work with and the teamwork and the, the building of that and even the building of my confidence through sport. So like.
Speaker 1:For me that is just like my automatic go-to, because it's what I know I think for me, I like the aspect of sport is very much a good kind of kickstart into what the real world actually is. You don't have any controllable over who I mean, obviously, if politics and whatever, but like, from a broad perspective, right, you can't control the coach, so if you don't get along with this coach, you can't, you can't pick your bosses. Sometimes you need to learn how to get along with these people. Yeah, and it teaches kids at a young age how to lose, how to play like team orientated, and I think losing is really, really important and how to share and grow together as a team and work for something.
Speaker 1:But I also think selfishly. I enjoy watching sports, and sports are much more enjoyable to watch if you are a fan, and the easiest way to have a fan is to have one of your kids play in those things. So I don't mind shutting my brain off or like missing out on things to go to my kids, whatever it is, because I'm instantly a fan of watching them do whatever it is that they like to do. The hard part for me is neither one of my kids have shown any interest in certain things, so we're just kind of guessing right now.
Speaker 4:Right, and that's where it gets a little bit tricky, and that's the thing, though, but like, do you? Because, like you're saying, like they found their thing, or you're hoping to find, like help them find their thing right, but does it have to be their thing? Like, why can't they do?
Speaker 4:one thing for a little while, do another thing like and be multiversed in a bunch of things. But I think we often want to find the thing that our kid is good at and like, push them on that and it's like it's you're seven, you're ten, you're nine like, is that, like that's not going to be your whole life now is it or is that going to be your whole life and identity?
Speaker 4:because there's like we don't have kids and within our circle that are in like the triple a's or the double a's and stuff like that doesn't need to be like that, no but meaning like the kids that are, because I do know some people who have kids that are in that system and they have them like signing contracts for their team at like seven, eight years old, where it's like you're committing to play for this team now and like the tryout systems and like, like you said, the politics involves with that one of our buddies who has a kid who's a goalie trying out for different teams and they totally like the coach and the system.
Speaker 4:They were like playing them almost and like it was getting very political, like we need him to sign an agreement before um, whatever, this time he's like whoa, like my kid's not even home from school yet. This is going to be his choice, whether or not he wants to do this. I'm not just forcing him into this and it's just the mentality of what it's become and like that they're treating these kids at seven, eight years old as if they're professional hockey players, signing contracts and agreements to things so the big thing that I have just from like I I don't buy into like the, the bullshit of it and like, I think, a lot of people.
Speaker 1:It goes back to their inner child in high school and what their version of I'll call them jocks, but like right, when we were younger, that was the whole thing.
Speaker 1:It was jocks versus nerds and that was the whole kind of story that was being told, and I think a lot of people that had a bad experience in high school either looked to the, the jocks or the hot in canada talk it's usually hockey players but they look to these hockey players as, like they get special treatment, they do this, they do that and I want that for my kids and there's a very I'm trying to be polite here, but there's like a.
Speaker 1:There's a handful of people that I'm thinking about right now in my head that I know we're not in that group of people, but now they're forcing their kids to do these things and they're catering to those certain circumstances or these contracts and all this stuff, and it's like you don't enjoy it, right, but now your kid is you know what I'm saying like flirting with or anything. That's what I mean. Like I don't think it needs to. I think their thing quote unquote it's very important to have hobbies, yeah, and I think it's important to teach your kids. If you start something, you should finish it right yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's where like I love the idea of like sports ball or whatever it is and you like. When you're younger, you teach them how to play these different things, yeah. But I think there's a real fine line between like toxic sportsmanship, yeah, and like what, why you want to get involved with this in the first place yeah, because even dance there's like there was the whole show.
Speaker 4:Dance moms, like it's disgusting.
Speaker 3:It can get crazy. It's disgusting like one of the most expensive sports you can do Right.
Speaker 4:Or cheerleading Like it can get very competitive, very aggressive, very like demanding on the kids time and stuff too, or acro and gymnastics.
Speaker 1:Horrendous, like I don't even. I don't like the people that are in that environment. I don't like what it does to the kids. I don't like, like I said, my daughter. The confidence that it brings out in her is why I'm there. Everything else I could be without, but this kid has gone from being this people-pleasing kind of whatever to just full of confidence and I love that for your kids and that's what you want, and you can't get that from being at home or like you.
Speaker 1:That's the shit that comes with into the world from yeah, and the only way to do that when you're younger is is to go through sport. And and again, I'm not saying it has to be like the crazy triple a and like get a, get a coach and like all this other stuff, but like it, the. It should be some sort of extracurricular where you just get them out with other kids where they can learn how to like make friends and play and and all of those things, and then, as it goes up, we can try this, try that and try this. I don't like how expensive it is, like even the, even the smallest of I say small, but like even something like soccer yeah, like this, the house leagues and stuff like that.
Speaker 4:It's crazy, it's absolutely crazy and it's criminal how they're like robbing certain kids of of those experiences right, in my opinion, because it wasn't for things like timbits, like there's no way my son would be able to play soccer because, like they, it's just so accessible yeah, right, that's one thing that I think is broken about the sports, like in general, is and I think I've heard this somewhere before, I think it was the coach of our son's last soccer team was saying that like in europe, the top, like premier teams, fund all of the lower levels of sport under it.
Speaker 4:So like the money flows down where here it feels like you're paying into these systems that are going up. Yeah, like soccer canada doesn't have a lot of money, so the money that you're paying into it there's percentages of that money that are going into soccer canada to help fund the men's national team and the women's national team and stuff like that instead of it trickling down the other way. Like I think it's a little backwards here in Canada, especially with, like hockey, basketball, like there's so much money in it.
Speaker 4:I saw that they're making that's not being seen like being dumped into some of these to make it accessible for kids but they're stealing like half.
Speaker 1:I don't know the actual breakdowns and I don't want to like risk sounding whatever, but like I saw the the there was like a pitcher um, because I don't know what the leaf is Marner or whatever.
Speaker 4:He's leaving. Yeah, we don't know yet More than July 1st. We will find out. He gone, he gone Um but it's like 10 million.
Speaker 1:If they're making 10 million, they're only taking home four right or like 4.6, but in florida they're taking home like the whole 10, six or something, somehow 11 or 12, yeah, um but again, like I don't think the pressure or the drive should ever be put on a kid like that hustle kind of grind mentality when they're young.
Speaker 1:I don't think you should have kids with war paint on their eyes going into the locker room at six years old pushing each other Like you know what I'm saying Like pumping each other, like you know what I'm saying, like pumping each other up, like that's some ego that you haven't fulfilled yet that you're trying to live vicariously through your kids. Right, you don't need to have a press conference signing a fucking agreement for house league anything you know, what I mean, and it's, it's. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4:But have any of you been on a championship team yes, it was great when you've won a tournament, a championship or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yes.
Speaker 4:It is fucking amazing when you win with a group and like the hockey team I was on growing up, we were a very good team and like we were just a select team but we would enter single a tournaments and we would win them and stuff. And like the trophies like I talked about it I think last week with brent, when we were talking about getting rid of stuff right and like getting rid of those trophies. But those trophies like there's a lot of like amazing memories of celebrating with your team and like you put the work in and you see that victory right, like there is something so satisfying about that that also builds your confidence and works those things. So, like I brought up the question, I love sport and I'm very much advocate for kids in sports.
Speaker 4:I think it is very um can be very good for them as long as they have a parent that is helping them and teaching them how in a healthy way. Um, but I do just like to challenge those questions of like, can it like, why? Like, why does sport mean so much to us for some reason that we like play video games of it, watch it? Like so much money goes into this thing?
Speaker 3:that is just nothing like when you think of the old people like it's just fun, it's entertainment.
Speaker 4:It's crazy how big the entertainment has gotten. Yeah, when you think of like bobby you're playing and like the back in that generation they had to have like second jobs and stuff. It was a hobby for them to go out and do and then now like the state that it's gotten to. But do I hope and am I a toxic leaf fan that the leafs are going to?
Speaker 2:win the stanley cup next year?
Speaker 4:yes, do I think that the raptors are going to sign three giant stars and free agency and go on a run.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they are so like I love it, I love it so much and it distracts me from the chaos of life.
Speaker 4:Right, it distracts me when the kids were little and you're feeding them a bottle or something and you're exhausted from, like, the stress of everything going on in the world and in your life and you can just disappear and watch that game for a little bit, or you can get on the ice and life stops and you can just focus on what you're doing out there.
Speaker 1:Well, and have fun. If you're good, if like, if you're good if you're not great you gotta focus on a lot of things, but you
Speaker 2:can't focus on the stress while you're focusing on that stuff unless it's creating more stress in your life and I think it is the fun of it right, like it's the fun of being out there and playing the sport, and I think that's such a hard thing to instill in your kid through that process, because you want them to commit to it, you want them to practice and have the disciplines to get better at it, while also teaching them. Yes, just go out there and have fun and let's playing with your friends. Be playing with your friends, right, I feel like, for whatever reason, that is the approach I've always been able to have with sport and I think it was having no one push me into sport like I got into it through school. We didn't do anything really sports related outside of school, so when I got into it in that way, and then, especially our school being very much a very tiny rural school, we were garbage at every sport, so then it just became you're not.
Speaker 2:Joey came around, no no, I made zero difference. I was a four foot nothing kid, but it was just that mentality like the teachers had no choice but to have it be. Go out there and have fun. Guys like you're gonna get destroyed every single night, but go out there and have a good time. And that's even the way it was in high school, like we had a brand new high school yeah, we had trash at that high school every sport was trash right and I played volleyball and I played rugby and we got dummied every time.
Speaker 2:So it's just like whatever, I get to be out here playing sports with my friends. Yeah, we didn't have a winning team until our slow pitch team in softball, and even that we started our first year where we thought we were going to be king shit, and we went one and 28 or something we were awful in the worst division in that league.
Speaker 2:We work your way up and you have fun, and then you eventually win a championship with your buddies and they're like oh, this is what that feels like. But when you don't have that growing up, I think it just allowed me to take that mentality, so then I'm hoping that I'm instilling that in my kids by never putting that pressure on them.
Speaker 4:So what is it that got you into sports?
Speaker 2:Because you didn't have a dad that pushed you into sports or wanted you to pursue sport, right, I think it is a friend thing, like I think, especially in elementary school, like you, just that's what you do at recess. You go outside. What are we going to do? We're either playing wall ball, we're playing manhunt or we're playing soccer or baseball right so good. That was one fast, so good.
Speaker 3:That's a benefit of sport though Sport like really helps you make friends. Yes, yes, Like like popular in school or whatever I'm like, I just played sports yeah, that's literally the only difference yeah and she just kind of like stuck to herself at school. Yeah right, I just had a lot of friends, yeah and that does happen through sport, though right, it's just nice to people and it's common ground too right like that's immediately something you could talk, and then I think that's a to.
Speaker 2:It touches a bit on your earlier question, dave is dads like that can be a common ground thing with a new dad that you meet anywhere, right? But all of a sudden it's like all right, well, philly out here, you leaf fan, you're a raptors fan, jay's fan. Like where can we kind of touch base here and get to know each other?
Speaker 1:I think it develops a level of respect like when you're, when you're really good at sports, you automatically get respect from like your teammates and stuff. Yeah, and so it's. It's a lot easier to then like be around in like groups of people and be welcomed you know what I'm saying or like that almost becomes like your legacy if you will, as you're kind of.
Speaker 4:There can be a lot of weight on a kid who is the last out of a championship game or the goalie that lets in the 100 losing goal right like it's hard 100.
Speaker 1:But I don't think sport is like the end all yeah, be all um when it comes to, like you know, my kids playing it. I just think they had something and I lost it.
Speaker 4:I don't know where it went I was wondering what your relationships with your dad and sports growing up were like. Like were your dads coming to the games? Were you driving, were you talking about it? Were they pushing you, teaching you?
Speaker 3:I learned mostly from my brothers. My my dad was always like he would take me to games. My dad coached my brothers but he stopped coaching because he was one of those dads who get too into it. I think there were some scraps along the way and then it was just uh, you're not allowed to coach anymore, That'll do it, that'll do it. So I never had him as a coach. Uh, he was just. Uh, he's still. He's still the loud guy on the sidelines, even for our nieces.
Speaker 3:It's just funny now, kind of embarrassing but like just funny it's crossing that threshold now that he's a grandfather just laugh at it yeah, uh, and it's funny to see like my nieces react to him now the same way we reacted to him back in the day. It's like anyway. Uh, yeah, it was so. My dad, my brothers were the ones who kind of taught me and who I learned from along the way, so it wasn't necessarily a dad thing for me but, was it.
Speaker 4:We watched sports a lot together was it a good experience or a bad experience, or my? Experience with him was different than like my brothers would have been right because he would have been coaching, so he would have been a little harder on everyone yeah, I don't.
Speaker 3:I don't think he was that. He wasn't like super tough, though okay, yeah, I don't want to paint that picture like he wasn't like uh, he would. He would just get really heated during games.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, I could tell he cared about it. Maybe a little too much. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't remember, like I'm trying to remember. What I do remember was my dad loved baseball and I played when I was probably I don't remember the age, but like I I'm gonna say maybe 10 and I remember like this game sucks, like I don't want to play this anymore, and I think that broke his heart. Um, and ever since then, like I played soccer for two years and he like he didn't. He would come to the games, obviously, but he like he would never we would never kick the soccer ball around or anything. And then my family had this weird little dynamic thing, so I played lacrosse and my parents never came to my games or anything like that.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, yeah, Like when you were older or you'd get a ride with buddies or you're driving yourself at that point I was not driving myself, you'd get a ride with friends and like other parents, moms and stuff and I would just make excuses that mine had to work or whatever. But like I never really right. But like even basketball, I like, I loved playing basketball. I don't think any of my parents ever came to any basketball games. Sounds kind of sad now that I'm saying it, but it felt normal.
Speaker 4:Right, you weren't looking for them? Or sad in the moment.
Speaker 1:No, no. I thought I was going to be in the NBA the only white guy that made it.
Speaker 2:You were going to be the one. South Oshawa.
Speaker 3:That's DeLulu guy that made it. You were gonna be the one south oshawa. That's delulu, you see me play basketball.
Speaker 1:I spent so much time working on such a shitty game you were probably dialed in back in the day, though. Well, I mean, maybe not from a team perspective, but like one-on-one or like two-on-two, like streetball. There you go. I would say I'm much better. But from team, like running routes and all like setting picks and shit I'm like I don't care about any of that, Not about that team life. Yeah, I don't care about any of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't care about him. Yeah, I don't know I've touched on most of mine, but I think it was kind of a blend of the two of you, because my dad was very involved with my older brothers. Again, I heard stories of him coaching their hockey teams and coaching lacrosse and I think it was for me. I think if I had have gotten into lacrosse I don't know if he would have been much more involved, because I remember he always pushed lacrosse awesome, loved it, and I got into it when I was really young and then when our family went through what they went through, everything kind of all the sports just went by the wayside and then I think he just dove so much into work that he just didn't come out. So then, yeah, I don't remember my other parents really being at any kind of high school sports or any extracurriculars and same.
Speaker 2:It wasn't a sad moment, it was just whatever. I mean, I'm here to play my sport, not here to be watched to play my sport, right? So it wasn't uh.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think from that perspective I don't think anyway yeah, I had a I still have a very fantastic dad, yeah, um, and I think I'm very fortunate in the experience that I got to have with my dad with sports and stuff like that. Um, because even growing up, we didn't have a car for a very long time, so, like my dad would be taking ttc just to, uh, work and everything. And I remember one volleyball game we were playing at. It was like I think it was avenue road school, so it was like we had taken a bus and it was a tournament at a school and it was down in the city and my dad had gotten off work and came to the school and I remember playing volleyball and the like bleachers are empty and then my dad coming in and sitting in the bleachers and just being like he's the only dad here and it like I I get what you're saying of like it doesn't, because there's been games that they haven't been at and you aren't thinking about that.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 4:But there is something just different about your dad being there Right, absolutely. And one, like you, want to do well to show them. But, then also just like knowing you have that person there too. That was really special. And even like I made mention of Discus, so my dad is the one he did Discus in high school.
Speaker 2:I've seen the picture. It was at the high school I went to. He's gonna pull it up for you right now.
Speaker 4:It reminded me because joey's father-in-law sent it to me yeah because I don't know why.
Speaker 4:He was at the school, um anyways.
Speaker 4:But my dad did discus growing up and there it is, um. So he had mentioned that and I was like sure I'll try that right. So then he would take like end work, take the ttc all the way to my school, walk from the last stop to my school at the end, be there right at the end of school and teach me and I think there was like two or three other guys how to do discus and the track coach, like nobody else was teaching it, like they were doing track and field, all the running events and all of that. So there was nobody teaching field. So my dad taught me and these other guys how to do discus and javelin and stuff. So it was like a cool moment to do with him and like I remember going to like practice on the weekends, even like going to a couple fields and him teaching me and like, oh yeah, I used to be able to do this and like your uncle gary, he was an animal out there and like all the stories and yeah because there was a picture.
Speaker 4:So like this picture here of me at the school. Yeah, there's the same picture at my old school that I went to of my uncle doing the same thing.
Speaker 4:So it was like I'd always wanted it to be at that same school with my uncle, um, but I got it into a different school. But it was just like. My dad took time to do that and it wouldn't have been easy because he would have worked a full day, he would have had to take the bus to another route to get there but it probably felt like being a dad now.
Speaker 2:It probably didn't feel right, that's where he wanted to be right. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 4:like yeah that's why I say I'm really lucky and that I got and that I have that dad that was willing to do those things, because, like even me, as a dad, I know how hard it is when I'm tired after a day and want to just sit down and relax and my son's like Dad, can we go play basketball? It's like I've always wanted to do this. I do want to do this Like I'm talking myself into it the easy thing to do would be to just sit there and not do the thing.
Speaker 4:But even just like the car rides with my dad and stuff like that, like those are some of my, like most fond memories. So like talking about sports with my kids and driving my son home from soccer tonight, like that is the moment that I live for just the one-on-one time, me and him in a car together. And like he came to our basketball game on Sunday night and it was such a special night, just again, just the two of us. When you have multiple kids, when you find a freaking moment to just have that one-on-one time.
Speaker 4:It's so special and like we finished baseball and we went grocery shopping together and just like had this full little time. But he wanted to do it with me too. He was like we had just gotten home from my sister's and I was rushing out the door. He's like oh, you're leaving now. I'm like yeah, I gotta go bud. He's like can I come?
Speaker 2:like sure, but like you gotta, you gotta be there, and I'm sitting in the van like waiting.
Speaker 4:I mean, no, I'm gonna be late now and waiting, I'm like, but then he gets in the car and we had such a great day together so it's like I bring up sports and ask the hard questions, maybe about it. But to me, it is like.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 2:It's very much a part of it, it's so I have so many good memories with my dad involving sport.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would say sorry, no, no, go ahead. I know I don't speak very highly of my dad on this show, but that is something that is like has always been like a positive in my life with him, like he. He has always been very supportive and like, yeah, more of a cheerleader in the sport like world, I guess for me, like he's always, he was always there as well, he was always very he would never him getting heated, was always at like the umpire or the refs or the.
Speaker 4:It was never in your defense, yeah, and we would always have good talks and stuff on our car rides as well, so like that is a definitely a positive uh memory I think that's like the call out I want to have, or say to dads yeah, is that like, don't get so wrapped up or involved in how your kid is performing, but cherish the moments that you're getting with them absolutely, because, like they are and or have the ability to form like deep-seated memories and a relationship with your kid that you might otherwise not get the chance to have. And if work is getting in the way, find a way to make it, whether that's once, whether that's twice, like cause I know your dad had to work a lot to be able to bring in money to get themselves out of the hole that they were in.
Speaker 2:Kind of right, joe, but if your dad had of made the time, oh yeah, that would have meant a lot like that's been part of my major part of my therapy journey is like realizing, and like having the moment there, mark, or realizing we're on the same page on that and we say that, oh, it just doesn't really matter. That's just what I was used to in sport.
Speaker 1:That's just the thing that we tell ourselves to make it okay that they never did show up for that yeah, I'm having, like I'm reflecting on it now, and the thing that I would add to that is to, if you are like, roll your eyes at that kind of statement right like don't underestimate the importance that it can have on your kid because you don't understand the impact like this.
Speaker 1:It can feel very isolating and you can have like moments where, like you look around, you know the, the field and there's like other kids are being embraced or they're going out to for you know things after they have their little traditions and they're just kind of like packing up your stuff and walking home kind of thing, right, and when you get home it's like it's not the best situation.
Speaker 1:So like you could either have a kid who just had like the best game and scored all the goals and want to talk about it, right, but also feel like they just can't talk about it or it doesn't matter, or whatever. Or you could have a game where you were the goalie that let the goal in and you're really hard on yourself and you're walking into a situation like a home where you feel alone, yeah, and you just put music on and then just kind of like vibe to yourself. You know what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying. So it's like it could. The weight of sport can be really, really important to your kid at that moment in time, yeah, even if it just doesn't feel as minuscule. If it's my three-year-old and it's, you know to him, it's, he's. He's a professional soccer player right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, and I do think that there is a lot of power in like letting him experience his level of professionalism.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if that makes sense, and I think too like, yeah, to go off of that, like you get to dictate how that importance affects them. Yeah, right, because if they're left to it on their own devices they can go either way, right? And if you're hard on them about their performance, you're influencing that in a negative way, right? You're attaching those memories to something that I wasn't good enough, I didn't try hard enough, I didn't practice hard enough, right? So you have that opportunity there. Something else that was kind of floating through my brain there I find it funny when I get it or hear advice from people who I would think I would never get advice from. So Machine Gun Kelly.
Speaker 1:Okay, comes across my feet. I don't know much about him. I love him, but like just what.
Speaker 2:I do know about him. I was like I would never get advice from someone like that, just because of my limited exposure. But anyway, I see an interview with him because he's a girl dad and I see this thing that he's showed up to his daughter's volleyball games. He does not miss them, so he will take flights to get there. Yeah, and they are interviewing him about it.
Speaker 2:And he's like you as a girl dad, you show up for your daughter. You call her beautiful every single day. You tell her how much you love her because you're setting the bar for any guy that she meets in her life. So if all he does is call beautiful, that's not going to do anything for her, because she's had a dad in her life that's called her beautiful her whole life. So you've got to set that bar high and I loved that statement, and then we were sitting here talking about that.
Speaker 2:I think the same thing kind of applies for your son. You're setting the bar for showing up for your son so that when he has buddies or he gets these group of guys in his life that don't show up, that's not going to be good enough because he's had a dad that showed up every day. So now the bar for the guys that he actually lets into his life to support him, to be a part of his life, they're going to be guys that follow that example that you've already said, right, right, and how big and important that can be it can also be a lot like.
Speaker 1:It's something that I'm kind of struggling with right now is like my son idolizes me and I don't. I've never been anyone's hero before. Yeah, right, so it holds like it holds a lot of weight when you're like there are times where, like bro, I have to get this done, like I need to, I need to do this. I can't, you know, do whatever it, play, tag or whatever it is, but you want to, yeah, and and it it breaks your heart to like crush their. You know what I'm saying, because he slapped you with the worst dad ever yet who hits me with those every now and again.
Speaker 1:I haven't hit that Worst dad ever Like okay, I haven't hit that one yet. It doesn't feel great Nah.
Speaker 4:My last thing before we close, that I wanted to say too was also you have a choice when you watch your kid play a sport, to watch them in a positive way or in a negative way. You're either going gonna see all the things they did wrong and want to talk about it on the way home, or you're gonna see all the things that they did right and you can compliment them on that.
Speaker 4:I can tell you firsthand your kid knows all the things they did wrong, right as an athlete, as somebody who's played and been in situations where I've scored on my own net accidentally and stuff. It's like you know what you did and, if anything, that's eating that kid up more than anything. So if the first thing you get into that car and start naming off two or three positive things that they did in that game, they don't need you to point out the negative things.
Speaker 4:They're already thinking about it but sometimes like they don't, they don't need anything exactly yeah they just need your presence almost often enough, yeah hey bud, how you feeling, yeah, like or ask the question like is there anything you want to work on, like anything you want me to help you with?
Speaker 1:I just think, like sometimes, like obviously it's, it's good to think, but the, I think, the easiest thing in anything sports school. You know, they fail a test, like anything. Like sometimes it could just be a distraction, right, and like I think about this a lot too, like when my son's like really upset or like whatever, like hey, bud, what do you think clouds are made out of? Right, and just like. Just that distraction of like we're just buds, like we're just friends and I'm here for you if you need me to be here, right, like I'll live in the shit with you. I'm not gonna, yeah, I'm not gonna point out all of your flaws or whatever, but like, yeah, what, what are the things that you want to work on? Or maybe you don't talk about the game at all and you talk about something else.
Speaker 3:What?
Speaker 1:do you? What do you think McDonald's puts in their meat?
Speaker 2:Yeah, To make it so good. Just switch it up Right Like why? What do you think's up with that Fries are so good?
Speaker 4:You're distracting me.
Speaker 3:Mark, I'm going to need some fries in a.
Speaker 4:McFlurry on the way home, oh good, you can do these ad reads.
Speaker 3:You think a drive to a local hardware with your kid would be hit just as hard.
Speaker 2:I think it could.
Speaker 1:But they're not we're over.
Speaker 2:We'll give them a little bit more love.
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Speaker 1:And I like walked up and embraced it and I was like. I kind of was like sad wiping the shit off of his little cheeks.
Speaker 4:I never thought this day would come, that I'm sad of this right now, and Robin was like what?
Speaker 1:Like are you okay? And I was like I think this very well could be the last shitty diaper. She's like well, I've done three today, so you live in that nostalgia, my friend.