The Real Dad Podcast
Each week, these four fathers cover a wide range of "Dad" related topics, from the joys of watching your child grow up to the challenges of balancing work and family life. With their unique blend of humor and authenticity, Dave, Joey, Brian, and Mark provide a refreshing perspective on what it means to be a dad in today's world.
Tune in for the laughs, stay for the heartfelt conversations about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. Whether you're a seasoned dad or a soon-to-be father, "The Real Dad Podcast" is the perfect place to connect with other dads and get the support you need.
Join us on this journey of fatherhood, and subscribe to "The Real Dad Podcast" today!
The Real Dad Podcast
Calm in Chaos: How a Deep Breath Changes Everything
Ever wondered how other parents handle the mess, stress, and incredible moments that come with raising kids? Buckle up for an unfiltered journey through modern fatherhood that's as entertaining as it is insightful.
This episode dives deep into the parenting trenches – from incredible hacks for managing sick kids (strategic towel placement is a game-changer) to an honest conversation about creating meaningful family memories at Great Wolf Lodge. One dad shares how simply leaving phones in the hotel room transformed their water park experience into something truly special, allowing genuine connection that wouldn't have happened otherwise.
We explore the fascinating "Four-Second Method" for calming children during emotional outbursts – a technique backed by child psychologists that's shockingly simple yet remarkably effective. Several dads share their real-world experiments with this approach, revealing surprising successes that challenge traditional parenting responses.
The conversation takes a thought-provoking turn as we examine how technology and short-form media are reshaping children's attention spans. A teacher on our panel shares firsthand observations about declining student engagement and increasing apathy toward activities that don't provide immediate gratification. We wrestle with difficult questions about screen time, emotional regulation, and finding balance in a digital world.
Between heartfelt discussions, you'll find plenty of laughs – including one dad's brilliant laser tag strategy that earned his son victory (and bragging rights) without the child ever knowing the truth. It's the perfect blend of practical advice, vulnerable sharing, and the kind of humor that can only come from parents in the trenches together.
Whether you're a parent seeking solidarity or simply curious about the realities of raising kids today, this episode offers a refreshingly honest window into modern fatherhood. Subscribe now and join our growing community of real dads navigating life's greatest adventure.
My name is Brent Walker. I'm pretty pumped to be back One of my greatest dad moments. Slash hacks Number one if you as an adult haven't played laser tag in a long time, it's amazing. Before you go in, they ask you what your name's going to be. So everyone's kind of killer, one, two, three, predator, whatever stupid names. I went up and I was like Preston and I went out there and I played lights out. I killed everyone in sight. So at the end they called Preston's name. My kid didn't even realize that he was supposed to be Sonic 2 and 3.
Speaker 1:And so Preston, to this day, still thinks that he won that is so solid data you gotta take it to your grave.
Speaker 4:You can never find that out. You gotta take it to your grave or everybody pisses me off. Exactly.
Speaker 3:You know, this this is mine no. If you got some time to relax your mind, come have breakfast with the Real Dad Podcast. Welcome to the Real Dad Podcast. I'm Dave. Kenney, and you might remember me from such TV shows, such as Decked Out Disaster De custom built family home overhaul and home to win seasons one, two and three.
Speaker 1:That's well done you just came up with that.
Speaker 3:Appearances on city line breakfast television and one of brian balmer's shows not a big deal Cottage life, I think.
Speaker 5:I'm Joey Fletcher. I guess I was there as well. I wasn't a hat person. Until about 34 years old I did not wear hats. That's my fun fact. Didn't wear hats at all, wasn't a hat guy. You're mostly a backwards hat guy. I'm all backwards hat now. But yeah, now I have like 30 hats in my closet Only in the last two years, that's incredible, I don't know that I owned a hat before that. Really we had bro laws ones when I first met you. You didn't wear hats, did never wear hats doesn't hack a hair like that.
Speaker 5:You don't need a hat not gonna lie, I got great hair. It's also another fun fact doubled
Speaker 1:down. My name is, uh, brent walker. I'm uh, I'm pretty pumped to be back. That's not my fun fact, because everyone would already know that when I get to be on here. I'm pretty pumped, uh. My fun fact is that I have uh fall victim to the uh filthy romance novels that meg pushed on my wife and she has now pushed on to me, and now they are taking over my life doesn't sound like victimhood that's literally a word for fantasy that's how you know he's into
Speaker 1:it they're so good, though, so good yeah, I could see that I'm brian.
Speaker 4:Uh, my fun fact, I guess, is that, uh, no matter what the weather, no matter how I'm feeling, uh, I'm always gonna whistle he's a whistler.
Speaker 2:He's a big whistler if you know me at all.
Speaker 4:You know that about me, we love that about you, and you know, I just read on Instagram that apparently whistling is a sign of someone who's good at tempering their anxiety and controlling their emotions. There you go, and I think that's fairly accurate. There you go, nice. I love that's fairly accurate. There you go, nice. I love that. Keep on whistling. There you go.
Speaker 3:We are without our amazing Mark today. It wasn't until a few hours ago that we received the sad news. I believe the day actually started off with him messaging us.
Speaker 2:He reached out, yeah, which is rare for.
Speaker 3:Mark to be the one to initiate the group text message. Yeah, um, and we were all in and excited and then I think it was around three o'clock maybe we received a picture from mark saying I'm out and he was covered in puke.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fair we're gonna have to post that for the patreon so they can see that picture, because it is gnarly. He got hit hard with that I don't know how that happens.
Speaker 3:Was that like a throwing the kid up and down thing and then puked on? Was that like how?
Speaker 1:much to the side, it was a little. Yeah, I think you picked I think that's a cuddle.
Speaker 5:I think that's uh, my tummy doesn't feel good, you pick them up to cuddle and then, but okay, that's gotta be the only way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, otherwise you've got to turn that away from you, unless he literally ran at him, which I wouldn't put it past.
Speaker 5:No, that's true. The videos we've seen of his son, that could absolutely be the case.
Speaker 3:So Mark, we are thinking of you while you're cleaning up today, absolutely.
Speaker 3:My parenting hack on the subject. When my kids would get the stomach bug whatever you call that flu virus or something where they would get the throw-ups, my wife and I would set up a bunch of towels around their bed. We do it so we would put the towel on the pillow, we would put the towel on the ground beside their bed. We would put a towel like under them in their bed so that way if they throw up in the night you could just grab the towels, throw them into things, swap them out and do a little cleanup. That way, much easier. It's hard to do that, obviously for the first one, so it's usually after one has gone down. Then you're loading up. But exactly If there's ever a question or a worry, then just lay towels down, give them the bucket and put towels.
Speaker 5:You can't go wrong. It's never going to be a bad idea to throw a bunch of towels down. That's a fact. Also, life hack if you get a splash blanket I don't know if you guys know what those are a blanket. That's generally meant for and do not correlate things mistakenly here meant for physical relations with adults.
Speaker 4:Oh, like a sex blanket.
Speaker 2:A sex blanket.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 5:So they're larger and also waterproof, so nothing gets through it either. Oh, so we have a number of these blankets.
Speaker 3:Wow, a number of. How many fucking sex blankets do you have Five? What hey different? Colors for different moods that brings the novels back, that Brent mentioned.
Speaker 5:We've only purchased them since noveling began those can't be cheap either.
Speaker 3:That's an investment. You get them on sale.
Speaker 5:That's the key valentine's day, christmas, there's always sales good for you guys damn, that's a good investment.
Speaker 1:How many are you going through at a time that it's just not clean by the next time that you need one?
Speaker 5:Well, the thing is too, Ian. So the first one we got was very like utilitarian, like it was very much like a three foot by five foot Not aesthetically pleasing.
Speaker 1:Meg does not listen to this pod, for sure. No, she does not.
Speaker 5:But I have her full blessing to share this type of stuff. I just want to make that clear. It's not aesthetic, it undersides the plastic part. Nothing good about it.
Speaker 3:But we realized it worked well.
Speaker 2:It's a business blanket everywhere.
Speaker 5:Now it's bottom of the pile blanket yeah, because then they came out with nice soft ones. So now we have one that's like on the main floor and always out, because it's actually a nice comfortable blanket. But then if things seem to happen, then we've got it.
Speaker 4:So just tell me which blanket to steer away from at your place.
Speaker 5:That one's only been used like once.
Speaker 1:One time too many for me to drop popcorn on it and pick the popcorn up.
Speaker 5:You've eaten popcorn off my ass.
Speaker 4:Joey's got mine blankets all over his place.
Speaker 3:They get very well washed All right, tell me more about these blankets.
Speaker 4:I'm a little interested yeah, do you just buy them at costco or do you get?
Speaker 5:they're online splash blankets, I think is the one brand. Oh, it's a brand. How is?
Speaker 3:like the purchase on these blankets, like, as far as like, are they slidey? No, they grab pretty well.
Speaker 5:Yeah, so we got bigger sizes okay, which is good. So now the ones we have are like a proper, like king-size blanket covers up most of the bed.
Speaker 3:That's great yeah, then you don't have to worry at all there's no fuss, no muss, no clean up.
Speaker 5:Just wrap that thing up, throw it in the wash right away that sounds great for a home birth too it probably would be great for that you can conceive and deliver yeah, you sponsor us up and have it on the main floor after.
Speaker 3:Don't do that with that blanket if it's so this might be an inappropriate story to bring up but it just reminds me of it when we were doing the tv shows, our director at the time owned a bed and breakfast and on these decks, um, you would have to clean up the decks for the beauty shots at the end and you would have to power wash the deck down. But if the water just dried on it then it would look dirty when it dries. So you have to take towels over top of the area and wring out the towels to get all the loose water up. So our director was like oh, I got the perfect thing for you, and he would just bring a bunch of towels from his bed and breakfast. And we're like, oh, I got the perfect thing for you, and he would just bring a bunch of towels from his bed and breakfast. And we're like oh, are these all your cum towels?
Speaker 2:And he's like absolutely.
Speaker 5:Here's your bed and breakfast cum towels.
Speaker 1:Cleaning up the decks, just sopping it up, and they worked perfectly.
Speaker 3:We got his dirty used bed and breakfast towels Love towels is what we call them.
Speaker 5:Love towels Gross. But invest in some blankets, guys. They're great. I cannot speak highly enough of them.
Speaker 4:This is a perfect time to transition to a poop story.
Speaker 5:Yeah, for sure we haven't had one of those in a while, like at least three episodes.
Speaker 1:Like you and Maddie or the kids. I just don't know how far we're going here.
Speaker 4:I'll get there. Yeah, we didn't need a blanket, but we could have probably used a blanket. Bad preface. Um. So before I was leaving for work the other morning, I I could tell that my youngest had dropped a bomb. Okay, and so I was like uh, see you later. But on the way to work I get a phone call from maddie, and she's like you would not believe, and so I was like see you later, love.
Speaker 4:Maddie with it. But on the way to work I get a phone call from Maddie and she's like you would not believe what I just dealt with and you would think that after having three kids for so many years that we're almost through all of the diaper changes, that we would have seen this by now. But shout out to Pampers for really holding it in there. She said that she like undid the diaper and poop just like spilled out. It was just like full.
Speaker 5:And just spilled.
Speaker 4:There was no stopping it.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:It was like a spilt smoothie on the floor.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, get it in ya.
Speaker 3:I really hope someone was eating their lunch Drinking their breakfast smoothie while they were listening to this.
Speaker 4:It was just one of the Wow, there was no way to know.
Speaker 3:That's a parenting moment that you're like. The world needs to know what just happened right here yeah, so I think that's one of those weird things as a parent, because I know we talked about it when you're leaving the hospital after just having your baby, how it feels weird entering the world, feeling like your whole world has changed and nobody knows what you've gone through, and I feel like parenting, parenting is just full of all of those moments like that where it's like that was a moment that, like nobody driving by, knows what your wife just experienced today, and nobody will ever really know.
Speaker 4:She's not over it yet.
Speaker 5:That sticks with you for life.
Speaker 3:It's just full of those moments. That's it, yeah.
Speaker 1:If I could circle back to what Dave wasave was talking about earlier, please do for those of you that have really young kids and you, you hope that they can grow up, and then at some point you are like, oh, I wish I could freeze time.
Speaker 1:The moment to which and I would love to hear when you would say it um, the moment to which I would freeze time is when your kids have enough sense to get out of bed to throw up so they are still so little, so cute, all the rest, but they're just not willing to vomit all over themselves and then sit in the filth and then yell from very far distances for you to come and clean up the filth. Yeah, when they can go and either come to tell you right, at which point this is also a little dad hack if your child is walking to your bed saying they don't feel well, stop them before they keep walking to you.
Speaker 1:Redirect them to the bathroom. But if you can get them to the point where they have a little bit of self control with the vomit and then freeze them at that adorable childhood, that's where I would freeze.
Speaker 3:Is Cooper there, will Cooper get it?
Speaker 5:Cooper's there. So that's what you were saying that where, yeah, son cooper is five and I'd say he's been there for about a year. So I'd say after he turned four was where he got there, whereas, like now, he would get out of bed and be like all right, I think I'm gonna spit up and we'd wake up to that instead of waking up to the vomit happening.
Speaker 3:Well, because I was gonna say, like cooper's age, joey's youngest is like my favorite right now, like he is just like. If I could encapsulate or freeze time from when my kids were that age, I think that was my favorite. Around four or five, yeah, I think it's like transitioning out of four into five is the sweet spot because like that three to four can be a little bit of a terror spot and then that four they're just kind of growing into it, but five they're like they're coming into their own and you're starting to see that little personality shine and you can get a little bit more in depth, but they're still like little and like just adorable.
Speaker 5:Yeah, they're just little kids, Right? And like you start to see learning start to happen. Like that's where we're at with Cooper, like now he's starting to pick things up at school, which is neat. We're like now he's recognizing all the letters and he knows how to do, like simple math and stuff like that, where you can tell the cogs of his brain are starting to turn and he's starting to get it, because I think at that age there's still no pressure either.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so there's no like real need. Yeah, exactly when I hate my kids right now. Too much pressure, I do not want to relive this time of life. They're just annoying, they're pesty. They're to relive this time of life. They're just annoying, they're pesty, they're like into screens too much. They're talking back. They're they're just little assholes.
Speaker 3:Right now I don't like in your ears my son wants nothing to do with me anymore. Well, not really. He still loves me, but he uh, he's more like wanting to hang out with his friends and dad's cringe which I am.
Speaker 4:I asked him the other day.
Speaker 3:if I had, uh, if you had to rate me, like if we're doing like Madden and this would be a good question to ask your families Like if you're talking like NHL 2006 and you're, what are your dad categories? I wanted to come up with like cause.
Speaker 3:You know there's like speed, strength agility categories I wanted to come up with, like because you know, there's like speed, strength, agility, yeah, um, if we came up with dad categories that you could rank yourself and then do like a video or something where it's like you're madden rating, like your dad rating, how you rank a lot yeah um, but I was asking him about that.
Speaker 3:I was like hello, what do you think? Like, am I a good dad? And he was like yeah, you're a great dad. He was, um, pumping my tires, that's good. But then he was like but great dad.
Speaker 2:He was um pumping my tires, that's good. But then he was like but you're pretty cringy. And I was like, yeah, my cringe rating would be high like that. That drops me down we're 92 on the cringe.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'm like and I'm probably not gonna stop I kind of like that's something I love about myself it's one of your foundation blocks there, yeah, cringe like eventually cringe just gets funny and yeah, right, yeah, you know, right now it's still it's actually.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's embarrassing because he'll be playing video games and he's got his headset on, and then I'll come, sit beside him and just like start saying cringy stuff into his microphone for his friends to hear he's like god. What are you even saying? That's not a thing anymore.
Speaker 5:Just sabotaging your own child. So we just did four days at Great Wolf Lodge with the kids. So for those of you who don't know, great Wolf Lodge is in Niagara Falls, on Canada's side, and this is a hotel water park.
Speaker 3:This is not ad supported. It's not ad supported. They very much did not give me a discount.
Speaker 5:And fuck, that place is expensive. I use the real f word, um, but it was a fantastic time. So this was a a birthday present that we got from her for her birthday in early april that we were going to take her back here because she's been there once without us. She went with her friend, uh, so this was our just going as a family. So we just went, the four of us me, meg and two kids um and man, it was a blast but it is exhausting.
Speaker 5:They did a good job there of like giving you lots to do. I don't know if it started off as like just a water park, but now they've got like laser tag, bowling, arcade, they've got like quests for the kids to do, um, lots of food but like just hours of entertainment. So it was great for the kids. They were very like, yeah, entertained the entire time, but as a parent, you also, you got to be on Right, like four days is a big bender. There it was, and it was like four days. I say four days but like half day the first day two full days, half day the last day, but yeah, still a lot.
Speaker 5:I would not do that many days again. I would probably only go for two nights. So you just go for a half day, full day, half day.
Speaker 4:I think that's a good amount of time. You said that you made a conscious effort to put your phone away, for the weekend Was that like a before you went on the trip.
Speaker 5:It was. It was something that Meg and I talked about, because Murph, my daughter, she has a phone that she uses at home, so that, or she has a phone that she uses at home, so that's our like main floor phone for her um, and she asked if she could bring it and we that kind of sparked a conversation with megan x. We said we'll talk about it and we'll let you know, um, and we decided that we didn't want to be on our phones. So then we didn't want we'd obviously have to bring ours, but we told her like nope, we don't want you to bring your phone because we don't want you to be on it, um, and we're gonna do a conscious effort to not be on ours. So we told Murph that as well, so that she could kind of keep us accountable for that um. And it's something that both Meg and I have talked about a lot lately, about trying to limit our screen time not necessarily limit, just be conscious of the fact of not being on our phones when we're around the kids. Yeah, um. So yeah, we both made a conscious effort to do that and we were both successful with it, um, and I think it helped a lot.
Speaker 5:I was telling dave about this because meg and I had a lot of discussions leading up to it about her being kind of afraid of of that, of putting away the phone and needing to be, or wanting to be involved and wanting to be fun.
Speaker 5:Mom I'll put that in quotations um, because it is something that she struggles a bit with is that playtime with the, which I find very funny because a lot of what she does for work is playing with kids. She'll sit down and she teaches parents often how to engage with kids in playtime, but she just I think she compares herself too much to other parents and then compares herself to me, where it comes very naturally to me. I'm childlike as an adult, so it's very easy for me to turn on play time, um, so she was a little nervous but she did amazing um, and I loved watching her play with the kids. It's one of those interesting things that you don't think you'll ever notice, I guess, or you don't have an expectation on, I guess, for myself where then being able to sit back or going to the bathroom, coming back and seeing them, her, playing with the kids, and it's just the three of them like how cool that moment is to see your partner just enjoying playing with your kids, did you?
Speaker 1:pack one of those blankets you can't see it, but dave was waiting so long to say that I thought he was gonna need one of those pampers diapers to hold in the diarrhea. His face was right scrunched up.
Speaker 5:We didn't know where to wash it, so there's no point in bringing it, and the hotel towels get the trick and they wash them for you. Don't bring your own things to clean. That's crazy.
Speaker 4:And that's why you tip people, exactly the note that says I'm sorry.
Speaker 5:But yeah, very fun experience. I was glad that we made that decision to be consciously present and in that scenario it's hard not to be really because there's so many things to do and so many things that are engaging. It was super fun playing laser tag against them, like that's something that I'm looking forward to as they get older, with my son cooper being five like he's not good at it, but he had a blast and it was nice fun.
Speaker 3:It was boys team every time we went in there and yeah was it too big that you ever felt like you could lose a kid in there? I have not been. Like I sometimes I wonder about water parks and stuff like that, where there's so many kids running around and like, if you're not with your kid beside you the whole time, like are you gonna get lost in the shuffle?
Speaker 5:yeah and again, like that was. Honestly that was a bit of a factor for me for not bringing the phones in, like because you wanted to be, I think the vast majority, I would say, of parents in there had their phones on them even in the water park, where they had the like necklace ones with the bag or like some way of carrying their device, and a fair amount of parents you're seeing like them, their kids are off playing and they're on their phone. Where it's like that you could, like they could easily walk off and gone, especially as we got to the saturday.
Speaker 5:So we went thursday to sunday, um, and as we got to saturday, it was when it really picked up and was busy, um, and then, yeah, you certainly could like if they walked off. So this this was a funny story about Murph. The first time she went was with a good buddy of ours who was a fire captain and his daughter. So I mean, if you're going to trust anybody with your kid going out somewhere, I'm going to trust a fire captain. So he goes, takes my daughter and his daughter and our big thing leading up to this was Murph. You have to be where mark is. He always has to know where you are. First thing they do when they get there is murph takes off. He says sit right here for two seconds, girls, I gotta go get towels. He comes back. Murph's gone. His daughter's just standing there crying, being like murphy left. I'm still here, uh, oh god. So she saw something that she well, she saw the slides. It was like, well, I'm gonna go to the slides.
Speaker 5:So she just immediately went to the very back and went to the slides. So the whole thing happened. Where he had to like get lifeguards involved. They were saying her name over the speakers murphy, please come to the front. He eventually found her. By the time he found her, she's with a lifeguard. She's already bawling because she realizes what she has done, but she just got distracted by the slides. And that's his worst nightmare. And it was all very funny after the fact, but I'm sure he was absolutely terrified oh yeah 10 minutes or whatever it was, before they actually got a hold of her.
Speaker 5:So yeah, we had that, uh, as a comparison.
Speaker 5:So then it made it very easy when we went where we're like you're not doing that again, right, like you have to keep an eye on us, um, but yeah, I think when it was because it was the two of us, meg and I, there and we only have two kids, it's we have one-on-one right. So it was pretty easy to kind of keep an eye on them, keep control of them, and then, because we were off devices while we were in there, then it was very easy to just, yeah, keep up with them. Nice cool space, lots of fun stuff, even back in the room, no phones. So we had the phones back in the room and that's where we would have our device time. So if it like got kind of the kids, kids were clearly exhausted If we were back between breaks. My wife is very particular with like skin and chemicals and stuff, so every time we finished in the pool it was straight back to the room.
Speaker 2:Everybody had a shower.
Speaker 5:Yeah, everybody gets clean, get dressed, and then often that's where we had, so we brought an iPad so then the kids could watch a show, because often the TV in there actually doesn't have anything for them, so they would shut her down for a show. In there actually doesn't have anything for them, so they would shut her down for a show. And then that's what meg would kind of check in on our phones and check messages and stuff and then carry on from there.
Speaker 1:Fun, yeah it was a good time, the one really. Uh, what I liked about great wolf lodge? Because it can add up fast, like I'm guessing after the four days it got a little crazy, um, but they literally don't care what you bring in like when you go the first time and you're like sneaking in a couple of drinks and all the rest and then someone like rolls in with a walmart shopping cart and it's got six pizzas deep, a couple two fours, they don't care at all you're rolling in, but it's a well-oiled machine.
Speaker 1:It's a very good place. It's definitely not cheap, um, but bring your own food, that's a great point totally bring your own food.
Speaker 5:That was the cue that we got. So we were that people. We had a I don't know if you know the big blue ikea bags like the big plastic ones, so we had one of those just with a handle, oh yeah, just jammed full of food, like I carried that thing over my shoulders and it was just all food and that saved us some money for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, uh, one of my, one of my greatest dad moments slash, hacks, slash. I don't really know what made me think of it. Um number one if you, as an adult, haven't played laser tag in a long time, it's amazing. Like if your kid wants a laser tag party or if they, even if they don't just tell them they want one, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:So Emmett, my oldest had a birthday party, but the twins were there and before you go in they ask you what your name's going to be. So everyone's kind of killer, one, two, three, predator, three, predator, whatever stupid names. I went up and I was like preston and they're like preston. I was like, yeah, preston, and I went out there and I played lights out. I killed everyone in sight. So at the end they called preston's name. He didn't even realize that he was supposed to be sonic yeah, two, one, three and so preston to this day still thinks that he won.
Speaker 1:He won both of those rounds. He's got the scorecard stuck on his wall still. That's so good. That's a good dad and. I know, but, I, know, deep down inside, I know I kicked some ass.
Speaker 5:I lit up some kids, that's it.
Speaker 1:A couple of parents were like look at me, I'm like fuck you.
Speaker 2:I'm not taking names and numbers.
Speaker 5:What do you?
Speaker 1:expect Up to this point. I don't know when he will find it. Christy, I think is the only one that knows you gotta take it to your grave.
Speaker 2:You can never find that out, or?
Speaker 3:everybody pisses me off. You know this.
Speaker 5:This is mine. No, my whole life is a lie. That is a good move, though the birthday boy I was happy with it. That was his name.
Speaker 3:Another great name you could use is Regal Ideas. Oh nice, Also a well-oiled machine and the number one aluminum railing on the market. There it is, and if you need a place to buy it, you can buy it at the core of the home hardware. Whether that's Bridgeworth, Copacabana, Lakefield, Lindsay or Millbrook, they got it. You guys have to know those by now.
Speaker 1:I look for comfort. At least give it a try.
Speaker 3:Give it a good old college try, not a good memorization guy.
Speaker 4:Crystal Rail would look pretty cool in a laser quest.
Speaker 5:I'm just saying oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Add some cool lights to it. Good ambiance. Yeah, you go into laser tag and they turn on like the ugly lights, you know at the end of a night at the bar, and they turn on the lights. Oh no, you turn those and you're like this is literally a dump with some like glow paint thrown on the walls and some black lights or like you walk into laser tag with mr sex blanket over here everything's on the sex blanket.
Speaker 2:I guess that's the point Felt like a good joke.
Speaker 1:You did well you should have let him go on that he was happy with it.
Speaker 2:That's your second attempt, I know. Just bring it up. I think I'm really jealous about the sex blanket.
Speaker 4:I'm pretty sure I'm going to go home and order one. That's fair.
Speaker 5:Well, so I'm not letting him go on that walking in a laser test on your com or something, absolutely not.
Speaker 3:Give me a little bit of dignity here, uncle justy, on the other hand, that we could see I was curious on your guys view great to switch about and this is going to sound interesting uh, analytical parenting, so making parenting choices or influenced by like analytics.
Speaker 5:So, uh, somebody came across my tiktok feed. That is very much that. So they have a bunch of advice that they're putting out there, but it's all based on studies that have been done. So it's case studies that have done group studies with kids on behaviors and they're putting out this information. That's very well. Let's do that thing where we share stuff from tiktok and I just hold it up to the microphone because I did find it. That's how my brain can often work. Sorry for the loudness, but it does spark something interesting where parenting is so relational. But then you have something come in that's all based on stats and findings from that and I was interested to see how you guys felt about it. So let's bring her up here.
Speaker 2:The four second method that instantly calms children, used by 100% of pediatric psychologists. There's a four-second method that instantly calms children in moments of crisis with 96% effectiveness, even in the most difficult cases, and it's used by 100% of pediatric psychologists, but only 7% of parents. Let's forget yelling, punishments or distractions with electronic devices. Child neuropsychologists have discovered that there's a specific four-second sequence that literally reprograms a child's emotional brain during a full crisis devices. Child neuropsychologists have discovered that there's a specific four-second sequence that literally reprograms a child's emotional brain during a full crisis. Here's the four-second method. When your child is in the midst of an emotional crisis, instead of talking or trying to immediately solve the problem, apply this sequence. Second one get down to their physical level Kneel or sit to be at the same eye height. Second two take a deep breath Visible to the child. Second three establish eye contact without speaking. Second four give a single nod, slow and intentional. It seems too simple to work, but a study of 1-200 peri-child so she gets into the stats of behind something like that.
Speaker 5:It is. So that's what I mean. But it's like it's all based on stats and numbers and these case studies that they've done and it was interesting because I saw that one and I'm like that does seem interesting. It's something that we've kind of initiated already, based on something else that we saw about parenting, meg and I um, but then I tried it a couple of times and it was interesting to me how effective it was. So I did it with each of my kids once.
Speaker 5:How it just happened, where, after I'd seen it, they kind of had a big meltdown moment and I'm someone who immediately tries to go into fix-it mode. What happened? What are we doing here? Why are you crying? What did they do to you?
Speaker 5:Yada, yada, yada, where this method that she talks about was just very none of that. It's very much. Just sit down, get close to them, get to their level, make sure they're looking at you, take a deep breath, give them kind of a reassuring nod, and I didn't say anything. And once with my son, he just came, cooper, came in and just like kind of snuggle, hugged, and then he backed off and I was like you, okay, and he's like yeah, and then just went down and went to play again and I was like, okay, that was weird. And then murph, she didn't get quite as calm initially when it happened, but then I just kind of stayed calm and we were able to kind of cut to a point where she came down enough that she was able to start talking, rather than just the hyperventilating that was happening, and then we were able to start to kind of work towards a solution. So obviously that's two times where it happens to work. I'm not saying that this is like 100% of the time.
Speaker 3:That's two for two.
Speaker 5:But that feels very robotic, the way that she delivers that messaging, and it feels very like you just have to follow one, two, three steps and you will have perfect child like that is very like easy on the accent.
Speaker 3:No, I'm here for it but it's.
Speaker 5:It is interesting to look at stuff like that, where it's like they have done a bunch of case studies on behaviors for kids.
Speaker 3:I think one thing that I struggle with with any analytics is that there's a case study to prove almost everything. That, like whatever research you want to find to back your point of view, you can often find a study that's been done on it. Whether it's been peer reviewed. Whether it's been peer reviewed, whether it's been like verified as accurate, is another thing, um, but I know, even just with coffee, you can like look up whatever stat you want about it to tell you that it's good for you or bad for you, or alcohol or like anything. Like there's so many studies to prove things.
Speaker 3:Um, so I have a hard time when I hear somebody like I probably would have skipped past that video pretty quick, because when somebody starts spitting out like random stats and numbers, it's like okay, like who are you? What are you talking about? Like you're just finding things to prove a point. What she's saying, I think, is more than a stat. Like I. I don't like somebody saying like 96 of the time, this is going to work, or physicians have said that this is.
Speaker 3:If, instead, you were to break down what is happening cognitively with the steps that you're taking, where it's like, if you take this step by coming down to their level, you're making yourself feel like you're on their plane with them. Right by taking a breath, you're showing them that you are calm and that you are stable in that moment. By making eye contact, you're showing that you intend to listen to them and that their time with you is important and then, by not saying anything, you're not questioning or getting them to give you a response in a moment where they might not have words to give a response. So it's like when you break that down yeah, that makes sense. On why it would help a kid process in a highly emotional state, yep, the analytic side of it, I think, is like there's somebody out there who loves stats and numbers.
Speaker 5:That's watching that that's gonna hit for them well, that's why I got my attention right away. Exactly, I like the stats out of it, so I grabbed my attention now. I think her delivery is terrible, like it is very robotic and it lacks that relational she does.
Speaker 5:I cut off the video. She does eventually get into that. Why? Why those certain things do work, um, but I find it interesting because that is a good point like there are a lot of studies that can prove one way or another. But you think of something like that where it's like how else do you try to get something like that out? Where it's like they have done this study of neuroscientists, put on the study. They studied, I think, 1500 families doing different. They had a control group and then the group that they were doing this with. Where it's like I have the stats, I can see it all. It's all right there, like we're. We can see that 96 of the time this is effective, but it is. We live in the misinformation, disinformation age. Where it's like how can you actually get information that is seemingly accurate?
Speaker 3:even out there to people, or I wonder too, like, what situationally that worked with, yeah, was it just when they were hurt and came to them? Was it when, like, what are the reasons for, yeah, the kids um jump in emotion? Or feeling yeah and was the parent the reason that the kid had that jump in emotional state, right and then? How do you then, if you're the one that triggered that response from a kid, right? Does getting down and doing all those steps still help to?
Speaker 5:calm that or not? Is it to do that when you are involved in why the emotions are high? Right, I think that was kind of my. One of my bigger takeaways from that was just like just carrying that posture and having setting an example as opposed to trying to fix them or fix that issue yes we're just setting the example of calmness.
Speaker 4:I've I've been seeing that a lot in my social media lately because and I think it's because our we've been having a hard time with our oldest lately, but we think that it's a lot of it is health related. Um, so we've noticed a trend with him where, well, he's been struggling with his health for a little while now, like, uh, probably close to two months. Gotcha like he's, he has fevers on and off like all the time. Um, his uh appetite isn't really there, he's. He's like he's been homesick a lot from school, especially in the last month. Um, so we have been, like, we've been pretty concerned about him and trying to figure out, because we've taken him to the doctor a couple times and uh, it's like, oh, there's just there's stuff going around and it's like, no, like something's wrong right.
Speaker 4:It feels like more yeah, like we know our kid and this is, he's behaving in a way that like it's, it's a trend, like when he's not feeling well, he starts doing things that just different, he starts behaving differently, right, and so it's. And it's just it's challenging because we're both like we know something's wrong, but we don't know what it is. We don't even know really how to approach right, finding out what's wrong. So we're thinking about, like taking him to a naturopath, um, just seeing, like if maybe there's something like wrong with his gut health or something like that. Right, trying like we're just start kind of starting the process of like actually doing more homework on it, rather than just like waiting and taking him to the doctor because, right, things, it just seems to be getting worse. So, but, uh, I was seeing videos about, um, how, as a parent, basically, you're responsible for bringing the calm to your child through through emotional regulation, so like if they are having a, an episode they're literally not able to bring it back, like there's a separation between their mind and their body, and you are responsible as the parent, uh, to bring the calm and help bring those two pieces back together.
Speaker 4:Right, and I totally like I, I think that's true, like it's very last night I don't I don't think I'm oversharing, but like he was having a really hard time and he, he was, I I ended up having to like hold him like very firmly to calm him, calm him down, and like the whole time he's telling me to like let him go. It was very strange, right, because he's saying let me go, but at the same time you can kind of feel his body wanting me to hold him. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, I don't know if he's just like scared of what's going on in his body, um, but then just like, so I just I just held him just like firmly, I guess, and then, like after a few, like probably a minute, you can just feel his body starting to like calm down and it's just.
Speaker 4:It's such a weird experience yeah, to go through and he's still like the whole time is just like, because he can get in like a loop where he just keeps repeating the same thing over and over. So, yeah, it was just like a very, because there's time, many times, where it goes very opposite, where it's like you're trying to control the situation and you're trying to calm them down by like using your words right or like forcing the situation, and it's never going to turn around. So it's just wild. When you actually do have the patience, when you're feeling well enough right to handle it that way, yes, how much different it goes, yeah patience and calm like yeah how important those are and how incredibly difficult they are as a parent.
Speaker 5:Yeah, because kids will suck that stuff out of you from the moment they're born. It's so hard they maybe leave the house, I don't know this, this whole approach reminds me.
Speaker 1:Well, I just listened to it, but I think we're a few weeks behind. But you were saying that you and meg were just getting into the don't say anything and just give the hug, which, in turn, is probably coming down to their level, is still acknowledging them. And I think I was listening to something the other day and it was like a behavioral psychologist or something, but they were talking a lot about how we end up mirroring each other in conversations and I think that's probably a big part of that is, if we present the breathing or the eye contact, will our child reciprocate that? Will they mirror us by seeing us breathe? Will they in turn take a breath? But I mean, whether we want to look at stats or numbers, I think at the end of the day one try everything and anything, because one thing might stick and one might not. With your kid, what might work one time is probably not going to work another time. Maybe it will always work. It'd be pretty sweet.
Speaker 2:Like if you just told me this I'm going to go home, I'm going to wake a kid up, I'm going to wake him up angry and I'm going to see if I can bring him back down out of the sleep.
Speaker 1:And I don't suggest doing that, but but I like it, like when I, when I hear that out, I mean she could have done it without the music and the whole thing. But like, yeah, whether there's numbers involved or not, I think it's your child just wants to be seen and heard and, like Joey just said, that's way easier than you think it's going to be, especially when you're in the storm with them. Right, but yeah, just to not like when you're, when there is a storm, you don't adding to it is never going to help yeah, no, and we've all been there.
Speaker 5:I've added to many many storms. I was so grumpy last night it was one of those.
Speaker 3:Like I turned to my wife and I'm like I'm not being helpful, am I not one? Bit I'm just so gr.
Speaker 1:I bring out sarcasm and Christy's like enough.
Speaker 5:Enough. This is the opposite of helping the sarcasm.
Speaker 1:She goes, you gotta stop.
Speaker 2:It's important to be self-aware.
Speaker 5:I'm a pretty sarcastic person, but when you can get them to laugh, your partner, then it's like, yes, it's a big win.
Speaker 1:Oh, she wasn't laughing. No, they're rare times. That's why laugh your partner, that it's like yes, it's a big one. Oh, she wasn't laughing.
Speaker 2:No, no, that's what I mean. They're rare times. That's why you enjoy them when they happen oh yeah, all right.
Speaker 5:So, christy, if you're listening, joey told me to continue to push you until I might get a laugh, and then I'm gonna call out a wig, do it please. That's the version of parenting that I'm at right now, though yeah, staying calm and then trying to encourage.
Speaker 5:Meg, because Meg really does have a difficult time with it because she is someone who she's very uh, that's the word I'm looking for Sympathetic, that's the wrong word, but she empathetic, yeah. So when the kids are high emotion, that's her reaction, like her body goes. But I think it goes in tune with what you're saying, brent, with the mirroring, where she can kind of fall victim to that with the kids, where they come in with the high emotion and immediately sparks that in her. But she's been really trying to work on that.
Speaker 5:And she again, the comparison thing like you don't realize how much you're going to compare yourself to your partner, even though you really really shouldn't, because they're in a completely different scenario, they lived a completely different day than you. But I will come in. I have more of a natural calmness, I will say so. Then she beats herself up for not being the same or it's like no, like that's my superpower, I'll take it like. Yours is your ability to have the highs with the kids and really enjoy being with the kids and make them feel great about themselves where I'm just here and calm. Um, but yeah, it's been cool encouraging you through that.
Speaker 3:I'm just waiting don't bring up a sex. No, I'm waiting for you to use this method on me at work when I'm like. So the schedule and I don't know what we're gonna do, and then this client, and then that client, and you just get on. Your make heavy eye contact with me. Oh, I suddenly feel much calmer. Because you know it's going to work. The other thing I was going to say was it already has, oh shoot. Do you ever feel like the thing you? Are learning today is preparing you for tomorrow.
Speaker 1:When it comes to my child having a meltdown yes, tomorrow, it can happen, every day.
Speaker 3:We have wrestling with both of my kids. It's the big wrestling event and I bring it up because I've talked about it on previous podcasts before, when my daughter has gone through it, and I know that tomorrow is going to be an emotional day Brent knows this. When these wrestling events go on with the school board and everything, there's so many kids there, a lot of intensity, a lot of emotion, a lot of yelling. It's my son's first year doing it. Okay, aria knows what she's going into, but she still hasn't lost in a while. So if she loses, I now have like.
Speaker 3:I just feel like I just equipped like I'm playing a video game and I just added something to my backpack for tomorrow so I feel a little bit calmer going into it it's an important thing to take into parenting.
Speaker 5:I think, like, in my opinion, it's something that I've seen work out, play out well for me. That is something that comes naturally to me that I know doesn't come naturally to a lot of other people, and I'm extremely thankful for that. I think the road to get there is interesting. Like it's something that you and I've talked about, brent, with, like you've just asked me a lot about my calmness, um, and where that came from. So, like the and I've talked about it here on the podcast with, like, my apathy, learning about that through therapy, and not necessarily a lack of emotion, but a, um, learned ability to avoid emotion.
Speaker 3:So it certainly was maybe birthed out of a place that wasn't necessarily great for me, but I will take it as a superpower now because I'm able to introduce it into my parenting, and in a good way yeah, because I think like having control over your emotions isn't a bad thing, like not letting your emotion control you, where I think that can be kind of detrimental for some people, where the emotion evokes the response, whether it's a you speak too soon, or whether you blow up too soon or something happens, where the ability to control yourself yeah, and I'm not going to say I'm immune to it.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 5:I've certainly had thousands of those moments with my kids where I lose my shit. I'm not not out here claiming to be the perfect parent. Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 3:I asked my wife who's joey's sister. Yesterday we were carrying in this like big wooden hutch from the garage into inside and it's pretty heavy. And we're carrying it in and we get to the next door and we're kind of coming around the door and my, my wife just goes. I'm so angry right now and the kids had like left their shoes or something in the spot that they weren't supposed to be. And I'm like, when you say that, are you actually angry? Because, like, if you're actually angry about something, you're angry. And she's like no, that's just what I say as I expel the anger and frustration.
Speaker 3:Because anger isn't a fruitful emotion or whatever the, the anger and frustration because anger isn't a fruitful emotion or whatever, and I was just like that's hilarious because she's like I'm so angry and then she's done with it, like that is her anger like she's like check it off I've acknowledged the anger moving on yeah, I basically take all of my parenting advice from bluey.
Speaker 5:A thousand percent, that's a. That's a great place to take part in the aussies.
Speaker 3:I freaking love them.
Speaker 5:Oh, it's such a good show man, I couldn't, I cannot say enough about that. We bought, uh, not bought. We library is a great place. From the library we got a bunch of bluey dvds. So then on the drive down to niagara, that's what the kids are watching in the back. So I'm just listening to bluey go through and, man, it's got some great advice. They talk about that with emotion with the kids. They have this whole scene where, like, they talk about, uh, the thing that bluey learned when you feel that emotion, that anger in you and making you upset, envision where it is, grab it and throw it far away. You don't need it bluey was great.
Speaker 1:I miss bluey. Oh man, I also love when they would show like the, like barbecue parties, yeah, and all of the parents were just getting liquored up. All of a sudden you, the scene would progress and all of a sudden the moms are all like just dancing like two minutes into the party they were always always boozing at the park? Yeah, always, that's the aussies for you.
Speaker 3:I had a question for you, brent, but is in your realm of work with the school system, go ahead With.
Speaker 3:I saw a video of a teacher talking about the struggle that she's having with kids nowadays in the classroom Now, I know you teach phys ed, so you're often their outlet for their energy where this teacher is saying that like she's having a hard time maintaining kids attention spans and that the fear of what the implications of this short form media that we have at our fingertips now, what the long-term rollout will be of that, because she's seeing that, like kids, she's like I'm trying to teach this class and my kids are just staring at me with blank eyes and unless I'm doing something new and exciting every minute or every 30 seconds, then you're not holding their attention span and they're not learning and it's being harder and harder to engage a classroom and for them to be present.
Speaker 3:Because she explained it as that school is now the break from the internet for kids, where before school, after school and lunch maybe even for some kids who have the phone at school they're going to those little dopamine hits and if the teacher is not giving them constant dopamine right, then they're just losing these kids. And if you're seeing any of those effects and if you see them, in different grades or ages or not, in your no, I think, in general, teaching is becoming a lot more challenging.
Speaker 1:I think there's more needs in the classroom. I think keeping kids' attention is harder. Yeah, I think the school system is in a very challenging spot right now, and I don't know that I still stand by the post-COVID, but it certainly seems like it's post-COVID that just everything changed, like a lot of, at least when it comes to education and school and kids and attention span. I 100, 100 agree that it's a very hard spot now. What's also really interesting, though, is like screens are causing this problem, but it's also now really common in the school system that during indoor recesses or during lunch, there's always a screen on, because if you put a screen on while the kids are eating, the likelihood of behavior drops tenfold, but you're just reinforcing the need of a screen. So it's this vicious cycle of children relying on screens or teachers turning to screens to make it less likely that they have to put out fires Right.
Speaker 3:Do you ever think we will see a change in this format of the school system, because I find that I do hear a lot of people talk about how it was created whatever in the 1800s to train people for work and stuff like that, for factory working and stuff like that. Um, do you see that ever changing, or is our system so ingrained that they're trying to hold on to what it is?
Speaker 1:I think, from what I've heard of other people's ideas of what school could look like, it's just it would be a lot of work to make a big change like that yeah, and it seems like with a lot of the stuff is, if the pendulum swings too far, then you're trying to get back and forth and then you don't know where there's that happy medium like there's. There's people that talk about schools being built like prisons and everything is operated within four walls and you're on a strict schedule and you're doing this on time and line up quietly and sit quietly and and the way it used to be yeah, in the good old days, but the way like you hear all that and it sounds it sounds bad, right.
Speaker 1:But then you think like, yeah, back in the good old days we sat in desks and we were able to do it. But like the, the students can't sit still the way they used to. So then we try like a flexible seating classroom where there's rocking chairs or there's wobble stools or there's standing desks or whatever there's, there's options for movement. But when you enter those classrooms the students aren't necessarily that much more focused.
Speaker 1:From my limited I'm not in that classroom perspective like it's really really hard, whether it's the dopamine hits or the screens or whatever it is. The other thing is is I mean and if you really want to look big picture what are kids likely eating for breakfast, if they're eating at all, before they show up? Because they're probably eating a whole whack load of sugar, oh yeah, and then we're just channeling them into, say, sit still yeah, my daughter had two eggo waffles with whipped cream and syrup on them, and so fuck their daily limit right there, it's true, though it's a really big full of sugar and send them off to sit still like yeah yeah, I don't know, I it's.
Speaker 1:It is a very common thing. I I wish that I was more in depth in research to know I'm also spoiled that my my job is to burn off the energy exactly so I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't have to attempt to teach. It's funny because what I will say to teachers if I have a bad phys ed class is I don't know how you actually teach these kids math, Because I can barely get out instructions on how to play a really fun game and I have the leverage of saying hey, if you're not going to listen to the instructions, you're going to miss out on the fun game. Hey, if you're not going to listen to the instructions, you don't get to add these numbers. Jeremy, You're going to miss out big time.
Speaker 5:This abacus isn't going to move itself, bud right, this abacus isn't going to move itself, but like that is interesting, I'd be really interested to know what the grades say. Like what kids, what overall? Like what is? Uh, because they do those tests where they have to oh yeah, the iqa or whatever.
Speaker 3:I'd be interested in eqa.
Speaker 5:There we go I didn't do them well uh, yeah I'd be, interested to know what those say in comparison like these days versus 10, 15, 20 years ago. Um, if there is kind of a drop in that scores are down, for sure, scores are down yeah, that is interesting.
Speaker 5:Yeah good and not overly surprising. My thought going through my head here is like, for someone like me who didn't do as well in school, I definitely struggled to pay attention. The difference is I was terrified of my teachers and you weren't allowed to speak out, otherwise you were detention or kicked out or principal's office. Like we, our teachers back in our day, had that ability to dish out punishment, if you want to call it that.
Speaker 5:Where that is something that's like no nonsense, exactly yeah so that style of school and teaching didn't help me be a better student. I was just quiet and I listened, but I just didn't talk back Right when it didn't help me do better at school. Whether or not I would have thrived in a different school environment, who's to say. But yeah, that living today I wouldn't have paid any more or less attention. I don't think as a kid, just because I was never going to succeed in that environment in the same way, like I had the certain classes where I gravitated towards, it would grab my attention, like I was good in math, so that it grabbed my attention. I paid attention, I did well, but other ones, like history, I couldn't have cared less. So then I wasn't going to do well in that regard poor jason penny.
Speaker 4:I would have never helped you, not one bit I was just gonna say I thought that I had just found the silver lining of having to sit through the most boring church services ever, just so it could force you to pay attention through really boring things. So I think everybody should have to go to Baptist, a Baptist church, and sit through those hour long sermons. That's taking it too far.
Speaker 1:the other direction, but this. When I talk about this, the pendulum, there's two very like present examples of that. And it's when they like came up with new math and parents were having their kids bring home new math and it was like, well, no, you just, it's this times this and this times this. Well, why? Well, it doesn't matter, this is just what you do, right. And then they came up with these very fancy, lots of different ways to do it. But then or it was like inquiry learning and it was like, well, and it was wild, some of the stuff we did and it would be like a video of of, uh, like a fake little toy creature crawling up a brick. And it was like, well, how fast is it moving? And that's literally all they gave the kids, and the kids just had to go and figure out ways of, like, measuring the brick and seeing the size of this and doing the time. That's not happening. And yet kids didn't know their times tables. So we went way too far.
Speaker 1:The other way, we did all this inquiry learning and kids weren't learning the rote skills, right? So then they're swinging back to rote skills. You need your times tables, yeah, right, like goes to what meg teaches in speech is what they went back with in language, where language went on, this whole strategies of how to read, yes, and we stopped doing phonetics. And now, all of a sudden, phonetics are back because kids can't read or spell and and now they're swinging back the other way. So it's just the pendulum swings. Each time you're trying to do the right thing, but you just have to try to find something in the middle that works.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that was my other thought, because it's not as if those different school styles don't exist. They very much do exist. They're mostly in the private sector. So I know he's not here so he can't speak to it, but he's spoken to that with his kids because he got his son, I believe, involved in a and that type of alternate learning system, so it was like outdoor school, so a lot of the stuff they were doing was outdoors in nature, trying to learn that way. And they have montessori now. That are just different learning, so there are different educational paths you can send your kid on, for sure, but they are just things that you're going to have to try and they might hit, they might not. Maybe your kid will thrive in that environment and do really well and learn and love.
Speaker 5:Fall in love with learning, right, I think that's something that we've talked to about, uh, on the podcast before. I wish I had fallen in love with learning as a kid because then, as you get older, that will serve you so well, because there is so much that you can learn like now as an adult, access to youtube, you can learn literally whatever you want. But if you don't have a passion for learning, you're not going to have the drive to go out and do that. So how do you instill that in your kids? Because some kids will get that from the public school system. They will fall in love with learning. They'll pick teachers, they'll have ones fall into their life that connect with them really well.
Speaker 5:Um, I know murph's had that this year in grade two with her teacher, miss osborne. I'll give her a shout out um, she's just fallen in love with this teacher and she likes the way that she teaches and she's doing really well in her class. Um, so it can happen in the public school system for sure, um, but if it's not working for you and your kid, then there are are options out there, but you have to put in the homework to try to find them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what's hard Cause like a public school system is trying to do the best they can for everyone, for millions of kids, and there's so many different and I've heard a lot that, like the teacher's childhood has a great relation on how certain kids will succeed in their class, right Um, where my certain kids will succeed in their class Right. Where my son had a male teacher and I think it was grade six and it was like somebody who very much identified with the boys in the class and understood the struggles they would go through and he had a great time and different teachers that he's had. He had like an older woman one time it was near retirement. It's like she's not going to understand what this little boy is going through and what he needs to get through a class. But she's not going to understand what this little boy is going through and what he needs to get through a class, but she's really going to understand that girl who does it. So it's like you're throwing a dart at the board as to who this teacher is going to be able to connect with well and help.
Speaker 3:Yeah, where my poor daughter's teacher, like it sounds like she's going through hell in her class, like they're in a portable too, where everything is louder and echoes, and she's got a whistle that she has to blow because the kids are just out of hand and there isn't really the option of sending them to the principal's office too.
Speaker 3:They're in a portable. So one the logistics of getting that kid from the portable, which is a distance away from the actual building, into the building. She can't just walk them and leave the kids in the class into the building. Like she can't just walk them and leave the kids in the class and she can't necessarily just send them, because you got to make sure they get to the like the school and then arrive where they're supposed to be going. So like the logistics of that. And then the kids are just not good and they have zero respect for her. It seems right and she's like a tough jamaican woman. Like I thought, if anything, this girl was gonna have this class like in snip snap shape, but no, like these kids are just running her from the sounds of it and aria is just like I feel really bad for our teacher.
Speaker 3:Like as long as you're not contributing to it like just be a good kid, yeah, but like even my daughter's, like complained about her head hurting because the teachers had to blow her whistle so many times this day, right, and she's having a headache because of the noise in the portable and like the echoing of everything and it's hard to focus and because kids just aren't behaving. And like I come back to think about it with parenting, where we are a lot less strict as parents and does that correlate harder for the school system? Because a strict parent who's teaching their kid to sit down be quiet at the baptist church?
Speaker 3:and behave themselves, or else the wrath of god will come down on you, or the wrath of the parent will come down on you.
Speaker 3:Fear is powerful it is and those, you would sit well and you would listen to the boring shit in class and you would not misbehave. So like there is a level of like that that helps in that situation. It doesn't necessarily help that the kid's gonna learn well in that situation, they're just gonna make it easier for the teacher. I guess is the biggest thing. But yeah, it's just a little interesting because the teacher doesn't have the ability to take a breath get down on the kids level.
Speaker 3:look into their eyes and help calm them down in that situation, Because there's 10 of them blowing up at once.
Speaker 1:The big thing that we are facing right now and my teaching partner and I, we actually finally had enough and we needed an answer, especially with our older kids is just the general apathy, the no interest in doing anything.
Speaker 1:So my school there used to be tons of kids that would do everything, whether it was arts activities, athletic activities, we were a go go, go go school and over the last few years again, maybe it's a post-covid thing it's just dwindled and dwindled and dwindled where, like, we are trying to get like some pickleball teams going and it's supposed to be something fun and we're running this tournament and we had no one show literally no one and spike ball this. We're trying to get this round net club going and it's beautiful day outside and we're going to play round net and I'm getting like four kids and I'm like what, what is happening here?
Speaker 3:these are.
Speaker 1:These are fun games, these are great opportunities. These are not teams that you're trying out for, so it's not a matter of being intimidated or that you don't want to get cut Right, so, anyway. So we finally had enough and we created just a very simple Google form and we told all of our intermediates to bring their computers to the gym, the next class and all it said was what's holding you back from participating? Right? So I'll share two very entertaining responses, but the main one was I'm not interested. I'm just not interested. So we got a bunch of I have to babysit my younger siblings when I go home. I have another program after school, I have to go to my hockey practice, whatever. It is Fine. But probably 80 to 85% said they're just not interested. And what I want to know is then well, what are you interested? Because I'm really quite sure that if I said, well, what do you want, their response is going to say I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, you put a tv screen in the gym and throw a video game, and then minecraft or video games yeah, uh, but the two very entertaining ones, because I said straight up, I said if it's me like I put it out, I said, if it's me, now's your chance to say I just you, drive me nuts you drive me nuts, it's anonymous. You're saying whatever say whatever you want I love and I started to panic after I said it if I get 30 being like it's mr water.
Speaker 1:So very proudly, very proudly, I think. We had around like 160 responses. Um, only only one of them, uh, at right said they would not want to spend any more time in a room with us, which I'm taking as like a pretty big win. Oh yeah, I'm taking like and it couldn't have even been like a colleague of mine just trying to put it on me Chances are.
Speaker 2:That is a kid that loves you Because I would write that down about a teacher I'd be like nothing to do with it was so it was by a smart kid for sure, because they put and there was so much tone in it.
Speaker 1:It's amazing when you can see what's quote, holding me back, end quotes. I was like what's holding me back is not wanting to be in a room with you, but the one that made me laugh even more was because I, I can be. I can come into bed hot in the morning. Right, intermediates, they'reates, they're 13, 14 years old, they're coming in pretty tired, pretty grumpy, and I'm coming at them hot. Oh, it's great to see you. Let's have a great day. Oh, I love that and I'm pretty in their face.
Speaker 2:It's a lot. It's a lot.
Speaker 1:And one of the responses was we're in grade eight. We've only got two months left. It's 8 am when you're asking me this, and Mr Walker is way too happy to see us in the morning, which is weird.
Speaker 5:Which is weird. And you know what Fair, I was a little bit proud.
Speaker 2:I was a little bit proud, that's a great response he's way too happy to see us in the morning, and that's weird Because I'm obnoxious, I'm obnoxious, I'm obnoxious for those of you that don't know me already.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty obnoxious in these cases.
Speaker 3:I guarantee those kids, during those recesses or during those breaks, are on their phone, whether it's on Snapchat, on YouTube, like messaging with their friends. I guarantee that's what they're doing. That is more important. Or they want to get home to play a video game or to watch a youtube video. Then stay at school and do something.
Speaker 1:When we have to take kids phones, it will light up with snapchat and tiktok.
Speaker 3:Um yeah one of my sons. My son had to do a school project where they had to build a bench using non-right, like non-wood materials. Like you, had to recycle stuff to do it. So ben was like dad, can we go to your shop and do this and get real ideas?
Speaker 3:doing it with a friend. So this friend came to our house and his phone was dead, so he brought it inside to charge it and ben and him are playing outside and the phone finally gains life back. And I kid you, and like, I picked up his phone and it had so many notifications on it in an instant and I'm just like, bro, your phone is lighting up. Here you go, and then he's many notifications on it in an instant and I'm just like, bro, your phone is lighting up here you go.
Speaker 3:And then he's like looking through it and like oh, that's what that is, and like talking about it and I'm like that is insane, and especially knowing like the sound, like the sound that your phone makes and the dopamine hit that comes with it. Right, because for me, if I have my notifications on and I get an email, that is like plov's law. For me it's like Ooh, did we get a new job?
Speaker 3:It's like super dopamine hit. You think of a kid getting like Snapchat alerts? Or I have alerts turned off on almost everything other than emails and like getting those notifications constantly. It's like I'm so important. Oh, yes.
Speaker 5:Bring on the dopamine Notifications. Stress me out, man. I rarely, rarely have mine on. It's always on vibrate.
Speaker 3:When it is on, I can't take it let's just say I got an a plus on the bench that I built for him that's good parenting right there when I think back to the school do a little bit of work when I think back to the school projects that I sent in.
Speaker 1:I was like those weren't mine. I got sent to a science fair once to represent the school and people were like that's great. I was like yeah.
Speaker 5:What is it Right on? Can you tell me about it so I can do my presentation Put?
Speaker 1:it this way we did not do well at the fair when I was by myself.
Speaker 5:We did not do well.
Speaker 1:My dad did a hell of a job, taking a cauliflower and turning it into a brain, though, and he, like, painted the parts of the brain on the cauliflower.
Speaker 3:Amazing, well done.
Speaker 1:I remember that. Don't ask me one part of it, don't ask me one.
Speaker 5:I know nothing about the human brain, medulla oblongata, was it the water one?
Speaker 5:I don't think it. I did want to touch on one small thing, based on what you said there, with the kids reaction, though, of like encouraging parents to be happy to see your kids, because that's the like, the one bit of sadness that popped in my brain when you said that about the kid who said that, about like you seeing them, happy to see them, and how weird that is it's like. Have they? Are they not met with that at home? Are they not met with happiness when you see your kid? I saw a tick talkok about it.
Speaker 5:A guy said, saying like uh, often, when you send your kids to school or when you see them after school, are you dealing about the stress of work? Are you dealing with the stress of your life, because we all are as adults? Are you even acknowledging your kids when you're seeing them for the first time after school, or are you acknowledging them in a positive way when you're sending them off to school, or is it met with that morning rush of getting them to school? This isn't to come down on parents for that, because we all deal with that in everyday life, but to make a conscious effort to leave your kid on a positive note when they go to school and to greet them with some form of positivity after school, because that's what's going to affect their mood. A ton is when they see you with a smile. So like having a kid be like. It's super weird that this app now granted a random adult who's super happy to see you. That can be a little strange, but you're a teacher, that's obviously in their life and they know it's a lot, though it's a lot I could see it being a lot I could really use it, though I would love that.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that would be great when I saw you running the smile you gave me like bring that energy to our job site in the summer. You want to do a little summer job there? Brent can be camping too much, I know it, but he's gonna see us in the fall. And before we help, I just wanted to say thank you so much for joining us on such short notice please don't thank me my pleasure and thank you to your wife for giving us you for the evening as well absolutely, you're amazing.
Speaker 5:Well meant for physical relations with adults.
Speaker 2:Oh, like a sex blanket. A sex blanket.
Speaker 5:Okay, so they're larger and also waterproof, so nothing gets through it either. Oh, so we have a number of these blankets.
Speaker 3:Wow, a number of. How many fucking sex blankets do you have? Five, wow, hey.