The Real Dad Podcast
Each week, these four fathers cover a wide range of "Dad" related topics, from the joys of watching your child grow up to the challenges of balancing work and family life. With their unique blend of humor and authenticity, Dave, Joey, Brian, and Mark provide a refreshing perspective on what it means to be a dad in today's world.
Tune in for the laughs, stay for the heartfelt conversations about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. Whether you're a seasoned dad or a soon-to-be father, "The Real Dad Podcast" is the perfect place to connect with other dads and get the support you need.
Join us on this journey of fatherhood, and subscribe to "The Real Dad Podcast" today!
The Real Dad Podcast
The Toughen Up Dilemma: Raising Emotionally Balanced Children in Today's World
When should we tell our kids to "toughen up" and when should we let them fully express their emotions? Four dads navigate this challenging parenting terrain with honesty, humor, and surprising personal revelations.
The conversation begins with reflections on how differently children respond to physical play, with one dad admitting he wrestles more with his son than his daughter because she tends to get emotional more quickly. This leads to a thoughtful exploration of modern masculinity – how do we raise emotionally balanced boys who can still embrace traditional strengths? The group ponders whether "toughening up" is ever appropriate, concluding there's a healthy middle ground between dismissing emotions and teaching resilience.
In a moment that perfectly captures the podcast's authentic nature, Brian casually mentions being his high school prom king, leaving the other dads completely floored by this nonchalant revelation of royalty in their midst. The discussion weaves through scrambled egg techniques (apparently a serious matter) before settling into reflections on how children play outside today compared to previous generations.
The conversation takes a more serious turn when exploring political polarization and how it affects families. The dads share their struggles with maintaining relationships across political divides, questioning why voting preferences have become such defining personal characteristics. They conclude with thoughtful perspectives on teaching their children to form independent opinions rather than inheriting political biases, emphasizing that respect and human rights should transcend party lines.
Join us for this raw, unfiltered conversation about the challenges of raising emotionally balanced children in today's complex world. Whether you're wrestling with when to console your kids or navigating family political discussions, you'll find both wisdom and comfort in knowing you're not alone.
sometimes the like toughen up mentality. Is it okay to be like get over it and let's move on?
Speaker 2:I think there's a healthy way, an unhealthy way what is a unhealthy and a healthy way to ignore any kind of emotional response to just say toughen up, you don't need to have that, I think, to be able to be okay if you are actually hurt to emote.
Speaker 3:See, for me it's hard because my son I can beat up more than my daughter and she whines a lot. So I don't like to wrestle with her. But I think she thinks that I only like to play if we're wrestling. So she's like let's wrestle and I'm like I don't want to do this Because you're just going to cry the second I grab you. Choke slam, I do. I pick her up and spin her around.
Speaker 1:And then she's like you threw me down too hard and I was like where's your brother?
Speaker 2:welcome to the real dad podcast. I'm dave, and for a brief moment, in time I was my high school mascot.
Speaker 3:Oh, I didn't know that about you. I could see that Also. Zero people are surprised right now.
Speaker 2:I am, Joey, Tickling your eardrums. I tried a cigarette for the first time when I was four and didn't have one again, so it worked to not smoke again. How that's a sister's boyfriend when you live out in the country friend him. I asked him if I could try it and he was like yeah sure.
Speaker 3:You remember this happening?
Speaker 2:I do. I remember looking up at him Did you inhale? That's weird, yeah. And then I remember coughing so long and then I think I puked outside in a bush.
Speaker 3:How hard would you punch your daughter's boyfriend if he yeah, if you walked out like if you mcdougald?
Speaker 2:that situation, yeah, and you came out and that was happening, I, but for what it's worth, I never had any inclination to try a cigarette in my life from that point, still not giving because it was like that's gross still never give a kid a cigarette. This is not the message of the story don't get a twist in here.
Speaker 3:Can we start this episode over again? I don't think these twofers are a good idea one twofer.
Speaker 2:Anyway, it's about fun facts and then carrying on not getting stuck on the fun facts let's not my name's, mark and my son has a weird pee hole.
Speaker 4:You've used that one before. No, I haven't. We've talked about it.
Speaker 3:I haven't talked about it. He doesn't know.
Speaker 4:I'm Brian.
Speaker 1:This is going to be a turn right Not your fun fact, not your right, not your, not your fun fact, right before my fun fact, not your fun fact, wow not your fun fact.
Speaker 3:I should have said eggs can.
Speaker 4:I do my fun fact over again.
Speaker 2:Nah, we'll circle back to the eggs oh Matt, let's just get into eggs, alright let's just get into eggs
Speaker 3:no, no, say your fun fact, I don't it's not the Mark show.
Speaker 4:If I'm going to be honest, How's that third nipple you got, or what is it? Third nipple Forever pimple. I was high school prom king. No way, no way, no way.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry fucking Ryan, you just have these beautiful Easter eggs that you think are nothing.
Speaker 3:Are you kidding me? It doesn kidding me. What do you mean? That's huge.
Speaker 2:That's a nickname that you hold on to forever, you put that shit on your resume Are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 4:This whole time we get a call on prompting.
Speaker 3:That is the most Brian thing in the world To just say that that's nothing. Just nonchalant.
Speaker 1:Now he's going to make something up and downgrade it. We have to bring royalty Absolutely right, absolute royalty this whole time.
Speaker 2:Do you know how many friends you have to have. How nice you have to be to everybody for the four worst years of your life to win prom.
Speaker 4:I love Thai school, wow. I absolutely was gonna say it was kind of elevated because it was who I was in a relationship with. She kind of helped my cause. But but you were in a relationship with a really hot chick, then everybody just liked her, everybody, I don't know. I got along with a lot of people that's the perfect prom king right there friends with everyone what?
Speaker 1:what are the things in your life that you think are great then? Because if you think that's like nothing, it didn't really matter.
Speaker 3:You know that happens to no one right.
Speaker 1:I've literally never did you not celebrate the moment?
Speaker 4:you thought it was nothing.
Speaker 2:No, I was more embarrassed yeah, to be honest, accepted it with humility I was like yeah, yeah, it was funny fucking what.
Speaker 3:I don't even know if I can Dad after that.
Speaker 4:I would rather just talk about eggs, to be honest.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, how he needs to change all of his nicknames to the prom king, the prom, the king, yeah. In my phone, it's changing.
Speaker 4:Prom wasn't really a big deal for me. I don't know Was it a big deal for you guys.
Speaker 2:Pro, but if I was a prom king, you would all know it.
Speaker 3:I would make a t-shirt and I'm almost 40. I'd still be wearing that fucking. I would make a new one every year.
Speaker 2:It would still be his Facebook profile picture, my son's name would be prom king.
Speaker 4:You would know it's future prom king.
Speaker 3:I would have crowns tattooed all over my body.
Speaker 2:Head to toe.
Speaker 3:Are you kidding me? I might have a crown for every vote.
Speaker 1:I got. I'm going to go around and tell all of our clients this. Now you have to. So we're Bro Laws Construction. We do beautiful renovations. We've got this guy, brian, who works with us. He's a prom king, no big deal.
Speaker 3:No, big deal with the prom king. How long? Have you known these guys. Almost a decade, almost a decade he didn't tell you that's borderline offensive.
Speaker 2:It didn't come up naturally in conversation the way it has here he wants to talk about eggs.
Speaker 3:I know I'm going to disagree, but I can't. I can't fight with him now.
Speaker 1:We put him on the spot to come up with something, and he just keeps delivering these beautiful, sweet nuggets for us.
Speaker 4:I was never going to share that information, but I just couldn't think of anything.
Speaker 3:You were like the lead singer of a screamo band.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you were like the lead singer of a screamo band like you do. Yeah, not a good one. It was fun though.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to follow that one. Well, let's do that. Thanks, home hardware and regal.
Speaker 1:That's it can you imagine you did that.
Speaker 3:You don't have to imagine you've done it before they pay us and we forget about them. Can you imagine who did that? That would be fantastic. Can you imagine who did that before they pay us? And we forget about them all the time All of the time, every episode. Just about.
Speaker 4:What the hell are we going to talk about now? No, shut up, I got a little something. We're going to talk about eggs first Eggs.
Speaker 1:Okay, so last week was about toast, now we're talking about eggs. How do you like your eggs?
Speaker 4:Yellow. No, my gripe is with Costco. All right, we buy the big platters of eggs, yeah, yeah, and they've just been getting worse and worse.
Speaker 1:That's where the last time.
Speaker 4:I opened the egg and it was like the yolk was almost white. Yep.
Speaker 1:I was like the yolk was almost white. Yep, I was like what is this wait?
Speaker 4:weak ass yolk I don't think I've ever seen that before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I'm saying. This is gross so it's just all white.
Speaker 4:Yeah, the yolk was almost. It was like very pale, pale yellow it was like did not look very good. So what stage of the infancy is that? I don't know.
Speaker 3:I don't know what they're feeding these chickens these days, but it's not good I we had we have eggs on sundays don't like it and I, my daughter, wanted to help me crack the egg okay she got some of the the thing and she's like what is it? I was like it's just a baby chicken and the anger, yeah, the anger in my wife's eyes.
Speaker 4:I think I've dreamt about it every night since yesterday, so we need a farm fresh hookup.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we have, we have, we have a lot of them, um, but still it's it doesn't help.
Speaker 1:The firm ones are almost like a, like a blood red orange almost.
Speaker 4:Like a sunset. That's great. It's. Give me sunset. Give me that deep orange egg.
Speaker 3:I eat my eggs scrambled and it fucks with it. It looks like you put ketchup in there.
Speaker 1:You don't put ketchup on your eggs. How do you like?
Speaker 3:them scrambled. What is your level of scramble? No one makes a better scrambled egg than I do. I say that about my fun fact.
Speaker 4:Not the Gordon Ramsey scrambled. Can't even better scrambled egg than I do. Oh wow, I say that about my fun fact. Okay, but not the gordon ramsay scrambled.
Speaker 1:No, it's still like runny, I can't even have can't even hold a candle to my scrambled eggs my brother luke surprises me every time he makes breakfast he's not making a better scrambled egg than I am I'll tell you right now. So this wasn't an open invitation for me like I'm not throwing out challenges here it's my bad.
Speaker 2:It's over and done. Apparently I'll be there on Sunday A little bit of Creme fraiche.
Speaker 3:No, I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 4:That's what you're supposed to put in scrambled eggs. That's not supposed to.
Speaker 3:There's no biblical prophecy about how to make scrambled eggs.
Speaker 4:It's creme fraiche man.
Speaker 3:What's a creme fraiche?
Speaker 4:It's creme fraiche. Man, what's a creme fraiche? It's a type of milk like dairy.
Speaker 3:I'm not putting dairy in my. I put a little bit of cheese in there, Listen.
Speaker 2:It doesn't count, though. The cheese ain't milk, you're crazy. Eggs are dairy, though, right, yeah, no, oh God, okay.
Speaker 1:Are you right? No, they're a protein.
Speaker 3:In the meat category.
Speaker 4:Cheese is dairy in the meat category Cheese is dairy.
Speaker 3:I learned that eggs weren't dairy from this podcast.
Speaker 4:Like right now.
Speaker 2:No, like when it was called, we did have this discussion.
Speaker 4:It was called.
Speaker 3:Breakfast with the Bro-Laws.
Speaker 4:And I used to.
Speaker 3:I would fight until I had to Google that eggs weren't dairy.
Speaker 2:I do remember that because you were like they're a breakfast food and I was like is cereal dairy.
Speaker 3:Well, breakfast food and I was like it's cereal dairy. Yeah, well, you put milk on it and then open my eyes. Um, a little bit of coconut oil. Okay, you melt that Interesting. Then you scramble up the eggs. Yeah, we have to take 10 eggs to feed our family of four.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:And then I put that in a low pot and then I grade um oh well, it's marble marble cheese on top of it. I put that on after marble cheese in it, while it's like liquid and then it's a constant swoosh you can't stop swooshing. And then that brings out the fluffs you don't want it to brown yeah, and it's so, so good. Then you have to be careful, because the edges flake a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't want that.
Speaker 4:And you can't get them flakies in there. You got to go through. It's the wrong texture.
Speaker 3:You move it into the middle and then you scrape out all the flakies and get those out of there, okay, Sounds like a good system mark.
Speaker 4:That's a great.
Speaker 1:You could use some creme fraiche, but I don't know, if I've had creme fraiche I could eat eggs like nobody a time of day, like for any meal I could. I don't get sick of it, oh, I love it.
Speaker 1:So like if I'm home, working from home, like often for lunch I'll make myself eggs egg sandwich like anything go to um. So then when we were away with our family, my brother made breakfast and we were eating. He made these scrambled eggs that were delicious and my wife was like, if you made eggs like this, I would eat them all the time too. And I was like, oh damn shots fire, yeah, my brother put like I think he put a little garlic in it and some different like spices and stuff and it made it like very flavorful.
Speaker 1:It was delicious, um, but eggs are like my specialty at our house, where our kids like daddy's eggs yeah, um, so it's like my thing. And then my daughter now likes the, like a egg sandwich so like with toast and the egg and cheese and make a little sandwich. And I was gone one day and my wife made it for her and I put ketchup on it, and then she didn't. When she made it for my daughter and she was like, oh, mommy, you didn't make it.
Speaker 3:Like daddy, like it was one of those first moments where it was like yes daddy has a better way do you have? Do you have any of those like things that you do better than your wife?
Speaker 4:not many not my kids don't like what I make them, unless I make it for myself, and then they just eat my food. That's how it rolls.
Speaker 1:I have a special ability to know when, like grilled cheese and pancakes, need to be flipped like a sixth sense I think we talked about this before, where somebody was saying like I think it was you who were saying when, uh, meg would boil his name, yeah where meg would boil the craft dinner and you would ask what time and she would just be like no, it's just a feel yeah, it's like yeah, it's like there.
Speaker 1:there's just like knowing when a grilled cheese needs to be flipped and you flip it and it's golden. It's like that perfect timing, you're saying you don't need to peek. No, yeah, sometimes I don't need to peek, it's just a sense.
Speaker 3:Grilled cheese. You can't go on your phone while you're cooking grilled cheese. Yeah, exactly the process you have to you can't you can't go scrambled yeah, scrambled eggs is another one. The cereal topic from last week, that's another one. You can't you can't.
Speaker 2:I'm a toaster oven for my grilled cheese boys yeah I throw it on broil, that way you see what's cooking. I just sit there and stare at it. Yeah, I feel like I don't even know you. I get it perfect life, I am peaceful it is a lot slower than the pan, the traditional pan method, but you know what it works every day.
Speaker 4:Sounds like I'd cause a fire. Put too much cheese on there. It wasn't out of there. Nah, that's all right, that's a problem.
Speaker 2:Tim Foyle we're good.
Speaker 1:We should start a food podcast, guys. I'm hungry. Grilled cheese is so good Like gourmet grilled cheese. This is how you know. Four white guys are sitting in a podcast booth talking about grilled cheese and scrambled eggs, yeah, I might make a grilled cheese.
Speaker 3:When I get home absolutely thinking about it right now. It's a fact, it's happening do, you do, you do your kids well it's grilled cheese time we're having this shit. I came in and that's the best part we just ended here and we're like it's good, we've given the people what they need a couple of deep belly laughs and some confusion. We thank the bot sponsors there it is what the hell was I gonna say?
Speaker 4:something about your son? I think no. Do your kids? Are they crust on?
Speaker 3:or crust off. There it is Barely what the hell. Was I going to say Something about your son? I think no. Do your kids? Are they crust on or crust off?
Speaker 2:Crust off. They fucking hate it. Do you? I would never cut the crust off.
Speaker 3:So I'm not surprised we don't cut them, we don't cut them. You're the fucking prom king. You don't need to cut the crust off. Anybody's sandwiches me, are you?
Speaker 1:asking the prom king to cut off your crust you peasants eat the crust. I hate this so much you never use that in a fight or anything does Maddie know?
Speaker 4:yeah, she does not like that.
Speaker 2:I don't think she is not a fan she's not a big fan of any success of mine. You ever role played that one out. Come on now the king is here of any success of mine.
Speaker 4:Her role played that one out.
Speaker 3:Come on now.
Speaker 2:The king is here.
Speaker 1:Before I came to the podcast, my kids were outside playing with the neighbor friends. Oh, like tonight.
Speaker 3:Wait, do we like these?
Speaker 4:neighbors. I almost ran over your daughters one time. He did.
Speaker 1:Your kids are just out in the dark running around.
Speaker 4:I pull out into the driveway and dave's like hey, your kids are just running around in the dark.
Speaker 2:They're fine they were coming home from the neighbors, but anyways.
Speaker 1:So they were out playing and our conversation last week about how kids are more emotionally connected and they know their emotions.
Speaker 3:But are we too, not the real last week, the one we just recorded?
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, I was confused.
Speaker 2:I was trying to play it, as if we're not recording these both on the same day.
Speaker 1:But cool Anyways but are we sometimes too soft on kids with rules and stuff like that, so they're playing this game outside? I don't know what they're playing, we're just happy they're outside and having a good time. There's a lot of yelling, chasing maybe some version of tag that they have created, because it wasn't just like regular tag there was like there were zombies or something.
Speaker 1:I don't know what was going on. Um, but our house has a gate into the backyard and there isn't a gate on the other side. I think I'm gonna have to put one, because they were hopping the fence to go over to avoid getting tagged and stuff. And then at one point my son came running through the house to avoid them. I'm like what the hell?
Speaker 3:are you doing?
Speaker 1:my wife and I are sitting there looking at each other like what the heck like? They're just there's no boundaries. I'm like he thinks that getting tagged is worse than running through the house with your shoes on, and he doesn't fear consequence he takes the game seriously the shoe he worried more about being tagged in the game yeah, exactly like he's not worried about you raising up side the
Speaker 1:head and joy's like well, have you ever smacked him upside the head? And I was like well, that's a good point. I think I need to start, but like it's, it was just as if like that would have never been a thought to me.
Speaker 3:Oh, you know that wasn't upside down, it wasn't a thought to run through the house to avoid something like that, and then my dad would tie my shoes together so I wouldn't be able to play for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1:I feel like these kids are relearning how to play outside. Like I was saying to my mom like how much fun do we let them have? Because I felt like I was being like, stop shut up. Like you're, because they're super annoying, but they're like yelling and screaming and making weird noises. So when you hear screaming outside, you think oh no, where is everybody? Okay, yeah, but no, they just got scared because they were going around a corner and the person who was trying to tag them came and they're like and then ran right. But we're not used to them playing outside without us.
Speaker 1:It's a beautiful thing so it's just like what the hell's going on like everybody needs to stop screaming unless there's an emergency that's fair but they are like living their best, like version of our lives that we had in those summer days just outside playing, and I'm, like I said, my wife. I think it's because I wasn't within earshot of my parents, so then they, their nerves weren't on edge, because in my neighborhood we kind of had like this safe bubble that you could just like go around anywhere within there and our kids are finally getting to that age where they're doing those things and we're not out there supervising every minute of it. Right so, but you still have that parental like edge that you're feeling, yep, and they don't know like they know boundaries, but at the same time it feels like the game outweighs any sense of like life preservation. Like I watched my son like avoid somebody and run out onto the road. We've got a very quiet road but it's like did he look both ways?
Speaker 1:or no, did he sense if there was a car coming? Maybe?
Speaker 4:I mean, he's pretty, he's pretty agile, he might be able to dip and dodge a car. Got good peripheral, peripheral vision but he didn't want to get.
Speaker 1:He's a kenny, he's in sport yeah, he's in sport mode and he's just locked in, that's it.
Speaker 3:I've seen it firsthand. It's not pretty.
Speaker 1:But do like. Are there less rules, yeah, than we had had growing up? Like I'm trying to think of like do I have like yeah, and I think it might just be because we're not very rule structured with that stuff and like disciplinary with things at all. I guess like it feels like sometimes our kids are just unleashed and like is it a good thing or a bad thing?
Speaker 2:I think that'll come out in the wash it a good thing or a bad thing?
Speaker 4:I think that'll come out in the wash, I don't know. Let's just say it's mostly a good thing yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:It's fine now because your house needs to be renovated, but I feel like the second you like put in new floors.
Speaker 1:Yes, he gonna learn real quick not, and by that time it's probably gonna be at your youngest, so she'll be the one that learns really quickly because even like my daughter, like, like the talking back of like, oh, stop being ridiculous, dad, or oh, you're like you, stop worrying so much it's like I wouldn't even thought of saying something like that to my parents, but like we, like we had, we weren't spoken to the same
Speaker 2:way we were spoken to, like humans, like dogs yeah, actual dogs.
Speaker 3:Sit eat, Shut up.
Speaker 1:Don't talk back, sit in that corner, anyways. Yeah, so the second time he went to go running because that was from the back.
Speaker 3:Did he take his shoes off? No, that was from the backyard to the front door, anyways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the second time he went to go running, cause that was from the back. No that was from the backyard to the front door, Okay, and then the second time was through the garage door to the front door, and I was like I stopped him, Like what are you doing? Like I already told you stop doing this, and it's just like look at what.
Speaker 4:Stop what. I never think we're too carefree about it until we have people over, and I see the way they tense up when my kids run out the door right and I'm like what's like? They're like are you okay with them going out there?
Speaker 1:I'm like yeah, like they do that all the time, but I think that's almost it, because, like, if they're doing crazy shit inside your house, it's just within your house, but when they go outside it's like now the whole neighborhood can hear my kids and I think, I worry about being judged by the neighbors by hearing my kids or like are my kids being too annoying for the neighborhood or something like that, right, but then I also don't want to like downplay the fun that they're having, because they're like having so much fun and they're outside and they're running and enjoying life.
Speaker 4:And I probably the grumpy navel. They'll get over it.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:Or they won't and that's their problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, I just I do have a no screaming thing Like that is my big one Just because of that Emergency. Emergency Like that needs to be reserved for an emergency. Mine is mine is.
Speaker 3:It's this trigger Like I don't know what it is, but like loud noises Right, Makes my fucking nipples hard and not in a good way, Like I want to punch somebody yeah.
Speaker 1:And my daughter screeches and.
Speaker 3:I'm just like okay, we, I can't do that we're not gonna do that.
Speaker 1:It just raises the tension levels so fast. Our neighbor's son is like very screechy yeah, and it's like, and even like when they're playing video games. You can hear it and you're just like why? I know why somebody needs to tell this kid to shut up, but that's our job. Like change change the sound that you're doing like just grunt, maybe I don't know. Let's just, let's try something new I.
Speaker 3:I totally get it now, like my mom used to say, like my nerves can't handle it yes, right, absolutely like I totally get it now 100 100. Appreciate the respect of the nerves. Yeah, yeah. I just can't bring myself to say those words to my kid because I don't want to sound like my parents exactly so I close my eyes when it happens and I like twirl my lip and then I let robin kind of I hold that pose until robin sees it.
Speaker 3:And then she's like, hey, let's not yell. I'm like how does it not bother you? She's like no, it doesn't Turn the corner. And then she does the same like twitchy thing. I'm like fucking does bother you.
Speaker 1:You're just better at hiding it than I am.
Speaker 4:I have a problem, Like even if they're just crying, but they're like screaming really loud. I'm like like you can cry. But like that's too much. We're all living in this tight space together. Like you need to tone it down.
Speaker 1:I've been trying to teach my daughter to breathe through the pain too, because I'm like I understand that you're hurt yeah.
Speaker 3:Like when she hurt herself.
Speaker 1:And then it's this like a whale, like her leg is broken and you go out and you're like absolutely fine, it's like's like okay, you need to come down now and let's breathe like you gotta breathe through it. You don't have to scream and yell through it, you gotta breathe through it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, like your mom birthed you and she wasn't screaming and crying she was breathing like it hurts, but you can you don't have to cry through hurt dude, we I set up the trampoline yesterday, yeah, and the kids were like come play, come play, you're allowed to be on this trampoline. So like the whole family at one point was on the trampoline and like the Kenny sport mode kicked in for me because I was kicking all of their asses at this basketball.
Speaker 4:Nice, Because it has a basketball in that.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I was like I push Robin over, push my son over, push Aubrey and my daughter falls down.
Speaker 2:She's like he twisted my ankle. I can't walk.
Speaker 3:I'm about to double bounce you into the forest if you don't get up. But yeah, she was milking all sorts of these injuries. I'm like I don't want to play with you. You're not fun to be around. You're just going to sigh over everything.
Speaker 1:Like God. That's what I mean just keep going sometimes the like toughen up mentality. Is it okay to be like get over it and let's move on? I don't know, every little bump and scrape or itch your cry. You gotta be like oh it's okay, baby girl, get over it, get up and let's go robin was like you're being too rough.
Speaker 3:I'm like am I? Am I being too rough on our trampoline, where no one's going to get hurt? There's not a spring anywhere, there's nets all around. Back in my day we didn't even have nets on trampolines and we almost broke our legs, almost, almost.
Speaker 2:That's what I learned what a femur was. I don't know, I think there is a certain amount of like not toughen up, but like that type of mental I definitely carry that.
Speaker 1:Why not toughen up? Is it a bad thing to be toughened up Like? Is it a bad thing?
Speaker 2:I think there's a healthy way and an unhealthy way. It's not cool anymore. What is an unhealthy and a healthy way To ignore any kind of emotional response To just a healthy way, to ignore any kind of emotional response to just say toughen up, you don't need to have that at all.
Speaker 2:Right, I think to be able to be okay if you are actually hurt to emote, but I do. I definitely carry that into my parenting, of like, especially if I'm with the kids doing something like on the trampoline or playing with them and you can see what happened exactly big yeah, you see it's just a smack, you see it's just this, and you know that they're doing the big overreaction just to grab that attention. Right, I give them that. I see you, I see that you're hurt. You have my attention.
Speaker 2:It's not that bad now catch this, I'm gonna exactly I'm carrying it's redirection right exactly which again I think there needs to be like a little lesson in there somewhere so it's not just constantly redirecting and ignoring the big emotions that are popping up. But yeah, I definitely have that with both kids. I try to be equal both.
Speaker 4:I'm like yeah, figure it out, you're fine I'm sure for me it'll change like when they get a little older, but right now it's just like a quick console, little cuddle right and then let's get back to it. See, for?
Speaker 3:me it's hard because the they're four years apart yeah and my son I can beat up more than my daughter, yep, and she whines a lot. So like I don't like to wrestle with her. Yeah, but I think she thinks that I only like to play if we're wrestling, because I wrestle my son a lot, right. So she's like let's wrestle. And I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this because you're just gonna cry the second I grab you choke slam, I do, I pick her up and spin her around and she's like you threw me down too hard and I was like where's your brother?
Speaker 2:You're lame.
Speaker 3:I love doing things with her, just not wrestling.
Speaker 4:It's just not it.
Speaker 2:You don't connect in that way, meg started one that she got from some TikTok, I'm sure. But it was when they come to you and you didn't see what happened, just hold them, like, if that's what they're coming for, they're coming for an embrace. She's like, don't say anything, you just hold them, don't be the one to talk first. And she's like she's tried it a few times with coop where it's like, oh, what happened? What's wrong, what's hurting, what's it? Just hold them. He cried for a little bit. I looked up at her.
Speaker 1:Good, yep, then they start wiggling to get out of your hole it's like we often want to fix it right.
Speaker 4:We want to figure out what happened what's hurting?
Speaker 2:what do you need? What's it? Sometimes all they actually need is just a little hug, and then exactly back on their way.
Speaker 1:Well, what if your identity is built on fixing things for other people? Yeah, it's your son um you just can't be yourself. That's it part of the toughen up conversation, stirred up because I was chatting with a good friend, brent walker. Yep, and he brought up a podcast that he had listened to that was talking about the dating scene right now and how it's in a very awkward turmoil and that men wait. What isn't he? Happily married yes, but it was more he didn't actually listen to the podcast.
Speaker 1:This is probably a clip it was more about like this, the fact that women are wanting more masculine, founded men than emotionally, so it's that I don't think they do they. What they say they want versus what they actually want are differing. Yeah, and that with the online dating community and stuff like this.
Speaker 3:So I listened to this because it was an interesting podcast, because are you two happily married men listening, because I think that it has to do with how people are being raised in the generations that are coming up Right.
Speaker 1:So if there was a generation that was very much raised in more of a woke mentality or more of a emotional supportive and needing to be very aware and yeah how that's playing out now is what we're starting to see in that world where women might say that they want that, but they actually still want somebody who is chopping wood or something like that, like they still want a rugged I think they like I don't know.
Speaker 1:I love that you use that chopping, because there still are the primal instincts of what you want in a companion, as far as like somebody that's able to protect you, like what a woman's looking for versus what a man's looking for, are still very primal things that we look for and I think about it like tracking down to we all have sons that we are raising, and how do you raise them to be emotionally aware, supportive, but also strong, strong, uh, protector, supporter, provider, all of the things you wrestle them honestly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is part of it apparently. Yeah, it's. It's interesting because my son's thing.
Speaker 3:It's like a whenever there is his icebreaker, like whenever there's a silence or like just random, he comes up to his mom and says mom, do you love me? And it took robin a long time for her to like figure it out because she was like this kid like like do we not show him love? Right, but he just loves us so much that he loves to hear that we love him back. So he just loves to hear it. So he literally we were at a birthday party and he came up about 12 times like mom, do you love me? And then everybody's like that's so cute and ron's like right, I used to think I was a failure and now I kind of like low-key love it um but in the same sentence, he'll.
Speaker 3:He'll literally double tap his elbow and jump from the top ropes to like lay you the fuck out right, yeah so I just, I just think that it's balance you know absolutely, and it's what that looks like, right?
Speaker 2:I think the the thing that our generation has wrestled with is how past generations have looked at that. Creating a masculine man used to mean denying all those emotional side. It was you need to be tough, so you need to ignore all the emotions that aren't to do with toughness. You're allowed to be angry or fine.
Speaker 3:Those are the two things you are allowed to be as a man, and that will make you tough also, I think the identity of a quote-unquote tough man meant disrespecting other people, whether it was lesser tough males or females. Like to be an alpha. You had to almost be a dickhead, and I think now, like in our kind of era, now in parenting, we just don't idolize certain things like that. Like there, there aren't any chuck norris's or like stephen seagal's walking around anymore, who our parents used to like love these movies because they were like the elfas, whereas now we're just kind of like bro, I don't don't care Like cool, you can snap a dude's neck. You've done it in 12 movies now.
Speaker 4:Let's Peter Pan this thing and move on. I feel like it might depend on what social media world you're tapped into, though, because I think it's still out there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh, the algo.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Interesting.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of. I mean I've come's a lot of. I mean I've come across a lot of that shit online. So that's what this was saying is like. In the podcast they had kind of looped around to the fact that because a lot of men aren't succeeding in dating apps and stuff and they're finding themselves more lonely but then isolating and moving to porn and other things to satiate that, but then they're getting angry and upset and then they're looking to like the andrew tates of the world, yeah, and that are empowering them and giving them like a meaning and like justifying their anger and saying whose fault it is and stuff, and then that's kind of perpetuating the problem. So it's a lack and that's where I wonder it. Is it that there are a lack of strong, emotionally supportive but masculine men? Like has the definition of a masculine man man changed? Has it changed enough that it is understandable, or is it still like the andrew tate is considered masculine and somebody else is considered?
Speaker 3:I don't think the andrew tate is considered, quote-unquote, masculine I think. I think there's different definitions of it.
Speaker 3:But I do think that the, the de-masculating initiative, that kind of kicked in, where, like the whole anti-male movement moved into play, like that has very much I don't want to say ruined but like hindered a large group of individuals because, it has almost made it like if you want to be a provider, if you want to be a protector, basically, if you're not a feminist, then you're a bad person is how they've kind of built this platform up and there isn't uh, you're not allowed to like have an opinion. Now, that isn't liberal anymore, right? Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:I know you're saying yeah, it's because things became very polarized totally, that it kind of classified people in certain groups where you can't dabble in things almost, or it's like if you you touch that, then that means you're all the way over there on this side.
Speaker 3:Now, all of a sudden, and I think a lot of it is most people, because it was so polarizing one way. A lot of people grouped women to be like to feel like we need to save them again or like we need to be an advocate for them and support them, where I think a lot, of, a lot of people had their opinion. They were entitled to speak their opinion, just as long as it's not morally wrong or whatever. Then you just let it be. We didn't need to give it these different platforms and right and have them have the power of authority over things and develop these cult-like whatever Right.
Speaker 4:Like.
Speaker 3:Robin agrees with a lot of stuff that Andrew Tate says and she brings it to me and I'm just like he sounds like a douche, Right.
Speaker 4:You know what?
Speaker 3:I'm saying she's like, well, he has a good point. I'm like he may have a good point, Still sounds like a douche.
Speaker 2:He's also a still sounds like a douche. Not changing the douche, it is Straight up criminal.
Speaker 4:Even all of that stuff like it's, I mean Frowned upon.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Let's not talk about him, he's got enough now I don't need to give him any airwaves. Yeah, I just I don't know.
Speaker 1:I find that concept interesting and I would say that I find myself in a in a good medium spot and I think what I had kind of come to while listening to this is that like to continue being who I am, totally Because I'm the same person that'll go shoot guns or something like that and be like oh and then come home and both aspects, but sometimes I feel like guilty about wanting to make my son. I don't know. I don't make my son masculine. That sounds bad, but like encourage. But why does it sound?
Speaker 3:bad? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Exactly, yeah, but like encourage those aspects of life for him if that makes sense.
Speaker 3:I think the word masculine is the problem. Exactly the word masculine is the problem. Just because they like engines and sort of like what we were brought up to be, like masculine things, doesn't mean that it's like more quote-unquote, more manly or different. You know different things like that. I just think that it's like whatever their interests are is what their interests are and if it's, if it's dolls, then let it be dolls. If it's do you know what I'm saying? Like it doesn't. It doesn't necessarily mean anything and that's.
Speaker 3:That's kind of where I was going with. This was like we are all people and we all have different interests and we all. It doesn't make us better, same or worse than everybody's going. We need people that are willing to put their life on the line to protect us. We need those heroes, because war is very real and we need people that are willing to be, to step up and be police officers and all those things to help them. But we also need people that are willing to deliver babies and to do things. There shouldn't be this moral thing of like. The word masculine shouldn't be a curse word.
Speaker 3:It's just my opinion, and that's not to say that I don't love females and I'm a huge advocate for equality and females equality Rights for equality and females equality Right. But yeah, and I will 100% fight tooth or nail to make sure that they feel supported and aligned and they need to be treated properly. But that's like human all the way through.
Speaker 4:I don't care, right?
Speaker 3:Yes, I don't care if you're black, white, male or female, it's like it should be equal all the way across is how I feel. But to say things like well, I, I want my son to be more masculine and and to have guilt with that is sad because you, you can. But then you can say things that you like. You want your female, like your daughter, to be more feminine, and it's adorable and it's cute and there's nothing wrong with that. Now we're going to the other side. So where's the tip? Like where's the tailor?
Speaker 3:just because tailor tip tipping point tip top tailor I'm saying just because it was so one-sided for our like forever. Yeah, to flip it now to go to the other way doesn't make it right or wrong and we weren't a part of the problem back then. We can be a part of the solution or moving towards the solution, but we don't have to scale it all the way to the one side to make it.
Speaker 1:To make it quote-unquote right and I feel sometimes like we're on a pendulum that's swinging back and forth, right and you're trying to land something in the middle, where it's like there was a very long time where women didn't have rights and weren't respected, and then it swings very heavily. We need to make sure that they have all these things, but then can it swing too far, one way where all of a sudden you've given women not given women but they've gotten a lot more opportunity and taken some of the roles away from men. Perhaps and are we trying to find a balance point in between?
Speaker 3:the fact that there's we've gotten to that point no, and the fact that they are fighting for the ability to make a choice right now, in one of the biggest countries is absolutely disgusting.
Speaker 3:In my opinion, they should have the right to be able to do whatever it is that they want to do, and the fact that it's even a topic of conversation a big one, in 2015, when we were already past, it is disgusting for me. It's very, very difficult, yeah, but again, at the same point in time, I also believe, if I'm being totally honest, the worst thing that we did was made it so that we had to have two household incomes. Right, yeah, I think. I think it should be a choice. If a female wanted to go and work, then that's what they should be able to do, and just dads should be able to stay home, and vice versa. It shouldn't have been like you know, oh, women want to work now.
Speaker 2:Now, we're gonna make it so that both, and then you know what I'm saying the cost of everything so that everybody has to work it's just now we get all that tax money it's the
Speaker 3:cost. It's the family time, it's like it's all of those things that are like factoring in, but you can't say that like the worst thing that they did was let women go to work right you know what I'm saying? Like that's especially as a white male. You can't, you can't do that.
Speaker 4:I mean, I think there's a better way to say it absolutely get this point across, because even with, like, gender roles, is it okay?
Speaker 1:still like it feels like it's not okay to talk about stuff like that it's just touchy to talk about, and again.
Speaker 2:But why does it have to be touchy to talk? I think it's touchy to talk about again.
Speaker 1:But why does it have to be touchy to talk?
Speaker 2:I think it's touchy to talk about because we're middle-aged white men and like it is just a touchy thing to talk about, because you don't feel like you're gonna offend somebody even by touching something that could be considered right on that toxic masculinity already I've been afraid of a lot of what I've said, where I'm just trying to bring up conversation and I'm like's going to be pissed off with what I said.
Speaker 3:I'm like I'm just trying to. This whole show is a walking red flag for me. Every time we record something and I drive home in fear and I'm like I'm never going to be allowed out in public again.
Speaker 2:You're both doing pretty well, but I thought it's an interesting conversation.
Speaker 4:This is where really thinking through what you got to say is really beneficial it.
Speaker 3:This is where really thinking through what you got to say is really beneficial. It's because there's no freedom of speech anymore. Every single thing on the internet is forever, so everyone can take what we say and misconstrue it and turn it into anything to be conceived one way or to be perceived one way or another.
Speaker 4:You can still say what you want. That was one thing.
Speaker 3:Can you? I don't think you're allowed to.
Speaker 4:Who's stopping you from saying whatever you want right now? A lot of people. A lot of people can get mad at you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You can say whatever you want. You're going to get heat for it but also.
Speaker 2:That has to exist, right, like there has to be this ability to check people too, though, right.
Speaker 4:Like that's, but I think there is just a lot more people that are now available to check people like, yeah, the andrew tates of the world jury is a lot bigger who now are like, yeah, I'm gonna say exactly what the fuck I think.
Speaker 2:And then also now you have a couple million people being like that's fucked up, yeah, oh, maybe I shouldn't have that, or you just dig your own grave the way he did, yeah. But I think then I agree with your point. I do think there is a ebbs and flows of the world and sometimes people can be a little over sensitive. That can happen. The same way, people can be not sensitive at all and just not care what they say about people.
Speaker 2:Dave and I or was that me and you, I don't know I talked about this with somebody recently with comedy, because comedy is one of those areas that's not supposed to have the same rules around being able to say and joke about, and talk about anything. But there also still is a right and a wrong way to say something, in my opinion. I think there are comedians who take it too far, who say their comedy shouldn't have these boundaries. I should be able to joke about whatever I want, but then the way it delivers doesn't deliver it as a joke. The way it delivers is as something that is just disrespecting a group of people, which is different. I think he does a pretty good job walking the line. To be honest, in my opinion, I think it's more the like bill burr, I think takes it too far he's a piece of shit, though he is, and I agree that is my assessment of him as well.
Speaker 2:But I think he's a fabulous comedian in a lot of ways. A lot of of his jokes I think are hilarious.
Speaker 3:But I think sometimes he will, he's just this angry, bald and loud.
Speaker 2:I think he'll intentionally disrespect a group of people I love.
Speaker 3:Chris Farley. No, chris Farley wasn't funny. He was fat loud and he said like crude humor things. He was laugh at me.
Speaker 1:Not Different kind of funny, not an intelligent comedian.
Speaker 4:That being said.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that I disagree with the fact that free speech has. It's just a weird thing now, because I think you have a lot of people with very large voices that just say whatever the fuck they want, and I think that's different than how it is.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of soap boxes you can stand on now and just deliver your message to people. I'm going to be.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be very controversial, but this is me just being honest. Okay, I just I just finished a project. Right, I'm going to vote conservative in this election, which will get me in trouble from a lot of different people. Had I said that in a group of people with a project that I just finished, my head would have been on a spike, because that's they make it seem like it's the. It's like the worst thing, right, that you can do, because I've made an opinion on the research that I've done. Right, and I have an opinion. I have voted liberal before and I voted conservative before, right, so I'm not one way, all the way to the edge. I just do my research, align it in to what I think needs to be done. Right now. That type of logic doesn't exist anymore outside of these walls and I don't feel safe anywhere being able to say that out loud, even though that I just said it to whomever. And there's people that are clenching their fists, holding their steering wheels, being like, really Whoa, what's wrong with that guy?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think there's also a level of the American politics spilling into.
Speaker 3:Canadian. It's the Trumpification of this.
Speaker 1:Where it feels like, if you're voting conservative in a Canadian election, that you're voting for Trump, but it's not the same thing anymore, like we aren't the same as them.
Speaker 3:But when my kids, when it's like like we live in a very conservative town and when my kids are like broad, that's where I have a problem. It's not red versus blue and it's not you know whatever. It's just it's people like there's nothing. I hate more than seeing like a fuck trudeau sticker or like something along those lines because it that's hate, and hate has no place for like for change or making change.
Speaker 3:It's just it's, and there isn't a reason for you to hate somebody that you've never met. That's a topic for another day. Right when you try to influence my kids with that stuff, that's where I have a really big problem, because I think that your beliefs should be your beliefs and they need to be developed through your own experiences and research and respected if they're not the same as the people that you surround yourself with. Yeah, does that make?
Speaker 2:sense, yeah, you should be able to have a dialogue right, and, but it should be based on that. Your dialogue should be based on the research that you've done and your opinion on your research, and then you can have a good conversation right, where the other side of what you're saying is like when you just have people that are headline reading and going off the propaganda, now there's no basis for they're not actually doing any exactly you're just throwing the shade back and forth. That's been amplified.
Speaker 3:And there's watching these tiktok videos and then spitting hot facts as if they're real, when they're based off of one andrew tate video that they watched. And now that's their truth. And then all of a sudden it it just snowballs into this hot pile of garbage. There's no reason why you can't think differently, feel differently, but still love each other for like who they are.
Speaker 1:I think it's also because we live in a bit of like a clickbait world totally, where even like news and media outlets are looking for views and they're looking for clickbait and they're asking questions to try to get the the thing. They want to catch the politician saying something so that they can have this big article come up about it or twist somebody's words to use it against them in a way that can make this like clickbait clip that they can get to go viral type thing. Um, and they're very much like it. I hate that we kind of are polarizing with the states and that like it's moving over where they're almost trying to treat this canadian electionizing with the states and that like it's moving over, where they're almost trying to treat this canadian election similar to.
Speaker 1:The states were to the point where they asked mark kearney, who's running as the liberal leader in canada, if he'll accept the results of the election and he just laughed and was like listen, guys, like we're not the same as that. Like yes, I will respect the results of the election. Like we're not the same as that. Like yes, I will respect the results of the election. Like we're not dealing with the same things that you dealt with there. Stop trying to use the clickbait media that you found worked over there and use it over here. It's not the same. We don't want it to be the same thing, because I find our politics, at least in Canada, aren't as heavily skewed side to side. I find that we're a little closer to the line and it feels like people are trying to push those two parties further and further apart from each other.
Speaker 2:But I think the parties do that too, though right Like that's part of the problem.
Speaker 1:Because you've got to differentiate Exactly.
Speaker 2:And that's like the whole slam ads where it's like they rip the other person apart. Like how many times have both parties the central message of any one of their rallies has been just to tear down the other party and show those differences Right. And it's the difficult thing that they're always going to walk in politics, because you have to separate yourself from your opponents. You have to highlight all the things that you think are terrible about them, about them. But now the messaging that you're throwing out to the public is just all these big differences and the polarization between the parties, where that's where you have our generation of just straight confusion.
Speaker 2:It feels like because you're getting both messages and we're like we've talked about that before with politics like trying to interact with different posts so that you can get a variety. But even when you're getting that variety now you're just that much more confused because you're seeing one post that's saying that this person believes in that and this party is going to do this, but then the next post is how they're going and are doing the exact opposite. So it's like, okay, there's who do I believe here? The disinformation and misinformation.
Speaker 3:I don't want to get too passionate here. This is going to be the only thing that I say about this. We went nine years with gas prices going absolutely crazy. Then, all of a sudden, we get a brand new prime minister who's part of the same party, and then they just boop with a flip of a stroke of a pen, they get rid of the carbon tax, which means you couldn't. You could have got rid of this carbon tax this whole entire time, but now you decide to do it because you need us to get your votes back to bring your party back into power. Which means the price of gas has now literally saved some families for the extent of their bills and stuff like that, and you were just able this whole entire time to cut it like it was nothing. The price of oil did also plummet during this most recent it's plummeted how many times in over the last nine years?
Speaker 3:during this most, it's plummeted how many times in over the last nine years? There was a time in 2021 where it was down to like 64 a barrel and it was still. The gas prices were still up to like a dollar, fifty dollar, whatever right.
Speaker 1:So we've reached this level of dadding just so you know. So that's because I never thought that this would be like in my vocabulary to be researching politics and stuff.
Speaker 4:But that's not a new thing. I'm not excusing that.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying every party does stuff like that when they're trying to win an election, election time yeah, the things that could have been changed during the whole term get changed at the very end, when do you?
Speaker 4:Doug Ford promised that he'd make dollar a beer happen I feel like he did, but I haven't seen those anyways.
Speaker 2:No one's drinking that beer. I remember that if you see buck a beer, you're not picking that off the shelf. I remember buck a beer and I don't want any part of.
Speaker 1:I paid for the expensive stuff. You're 19 years old, that's what you're picking.
Speaker 3:Swamp water Do you bring up politics to your kids?
Speaker 1:No, not really. We haven't talked about it. I've heard my son make some comments and I think it's because he has heard his friends comment, which are making comments based on what they're hearing from their parents.
Speaker 1:So, my kids have asked some questions and, like we had our local Oshawa NDP representative knocked on our door and my daughter answered the door and so my wife and I came to the door and we had this great conversation with this lady and my daughter was standing there the whole time watching and listening and they're like who's that? And I was like remember the signs you've seen like that's who, that is right, and it was really cool to be able to put a face just like to for her to try to understand what it actually means and stuff.
Speaker 1:so I think as much as they're overseeing and overhearing us talk about because my wife and I are having conversations about it they're not necessarily interested in it, but it's not something that we're hiding from them, we feel like the closest we get to political conversations is like human rights type stuff.
Speaker 4:Yeah Right, so we'll talk about those things. We talk about, like we have books at home that like talk about segregation and stuff like that, so like we go back and talk about those types of things. But in terms of like current politics, it's like maybe like stuff to do with like women's rights in the States like might come up a little bit, like here and there with Leo, our oldest, mainly, um, but that's about it. We don't really get into much else.
Speaker 3:I mean our, our kids are pretty young.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I just remember being in the back of your van and that's where I it really kind of sparked it for me. We took this test of like oh yeah like what party do you lean more towards? And ever since then it's really been like at the forefront of my mind. I my grandmother was really big into politics and so like that's where she like kind of skewed a lot of my things. Like when I voted in the passage it was just like no, no, who we voting for?
Speaker 4:right. Who do you want me to vote for?
Speaker 3:yeah, um but I didn't really start forming my own opinions or doing my own research until we had that conversation.
Speaker 1:However many years ago that was yeah well, because I think things start to affect your life a little bit more too, do they, though? And just like for us, specifically like with joey's?
Speaker 2:youngest brother yeah, who's?
Speaker 1:uh, very high needs special needs and there isn't a lot of help for that. Yeah, there is a lot of funding, but it's really hard to actually figure out and know how to get that funding. There's not a lot of housing for it. So it's like we're starting to needs or does advocate for the elderly and care, or wants to add more housing and care for them. So I think it's like as things come up in your life and how it relates to that. But we had a conversation a little while back about that where it's you can focus a lot on what you need and what affects your life and vote that way. But then there also is the more broad scheme of things of what is more beneficial for everybody or certain classes of people or certain needs of people, right? So I think there's different aspects that start to materialize, that do start to give you a bit more of an opinion or make you care a little bit more. Possibly absolutely.
Speaker 2:As you get older, right, your whole ecosystem grows, right the amount of people that care about and love and are a part of your life changes, right, and that would change your view on how you think the country should be run or the state of it, right but I think what mark said earlier is hitting me and I don't think this way I didn't mean for it to be a weapon I don't think of it this way, because if somebody told me that they vote conservative, somebody who tells me they vote liberal, that doesn't affect how I think about that person.
Speaker 1:But Mark saying that could literally have he could have 10 extra fans tomorrow and he could have 20 extra people that hate him for that Right. There are a lot of people who are very polarizing on whether or not you can be in their life based on how you vote and whether or not. I don't think that that's okay personally.
Speaker 3:We're going through it with our family right now. There's like a huge division right now between the liberal side and the conservative side, and that's why I'm saying like it's the only people that really feel like I can have a conversation with and I, it's like I've taken an interest to it. So it's something that I like I want to be able to talk about, right, and I want to be able to not only talk about my side or my research being correct, but just the fact, like, like, what do you think about this? What do you think about that? Where do we lie on this? Where do you think that?
Speaker 3:And Robin's dad's the only person that I can like talk to and have those conversations where he'll fact check things and he'll like he'll, and he does the research on it, right, yeah, and when he doesn't really agree with something, then he, he will admit that that's not right or this is. You know what I'm saying and there's there's comfort there, but there's some really like nasty things that these smear campaigns are doing. That just makes you like, okay, well, I guess I can't, because it's either really really far this way or really really far that way, and there's nothing really in the middle and you almost feel like if you say anything that goes against that kind of norm, then you're this like super villain, when that's not the case at all well, we have a large aspect of our listeners that are american, and I think that over half, yeah, and I think they might.
Speaker 1:It'd be interesting to hear from them, but like they probably experience this even more in that, like if somebody wanted to vote for trump, then how other people would think of them, or if somebody was voting for kamala, how other people would think of them. Like who you are supporting affects so much of your life sometimes, which I don't think it should, because, as much as it pains me to say, I don't think our votes matter that much.
Speaker 4:I don't think so either.
Speaker 1:Because it's just one number out of a huge sea of people that are voting. So you could be the most gung-ho liberal in your area and vote for them and they lose still by 10 000 votes or something like that. But you're holding on to this like identity of who you are and it's like but why? Like what you did didn't matter or affect, like unless you're that gung-ho that you're out there door knocking for them and you're out there sharing flyers and like promoting your campaigning with them because you support them that much.
Speaker 1:But I think there's so many people that want to just sit on their chair, sit on their couch and talk about what they want. To talk about, like they want to be the most conservative person out there from their couch and not actually make an impact in the country, not actually like run or get involved into politics. They just want to have something that they can be passionate about, which makes me wonder of like do we not have enough things in our life because we have more comforts? You don't have something to fight for as a, as a man, or something like that that you feel now that this is your soapbox, that you need to make a stand on that. Like this is the war we need to fight right now.
Speaker 1:Right, it's just like or you could just go play basketball with your friends and get that like adrenaline out of your system and then you'll be good tomorrow and not need to like raid somebody because of their political view.
Speaker 3:Right, that's just, it is like you were like, like, I can only use my own thing. I'm not going to say like, speak on like the American side of things, but but just because I say I'm going to vote conservative this time, what kind of sparked this whole thing within our like little family thing was like, oh, like, like you, you don't. Like, you don't support trans people, like I never once said that right, that's like it. Just because you're doing this one thing doesn't mean that, like everything else, like you hate on all this stuff. That's not what I'm saying. I think everybody deserves the same rights and values. That's like. Human rights is the most important thing to me. Everyone deserves the right to live a happy, healthy life. That's plain and simple.
Speaker 3:Just because I said one thing doesn't mean that I like, I believe all these other different things, and that's where my like I have a hard time having these conversations with people, because people tend to get so passionate and built up over this shit that like, like a, they're not even a part of it. Like, are you a political party that supports or sorry, are you one of the party members that supports them financially? No, you're not even registered as a liberal. So why are you coming at me right now who's not registered as a conservative either, right? Are you coming at me right now who's not registered as a conservative either, right, but just has an opinion based on the researches that I've done? Yeah, and, and that's it. That's all that it is, and it's.
Speaker 3:It's something that I've struggled with a lot, especially in this election, because I believe that we need, we need change, and I believe that we need, we need change, and I believe that voting is very important for me, whereas I wouldn't have prioritized it very much, but we're starting to have those kinds of conversations between Robert and I, and if the kids, if the kids overhear us, I want, I wanted to bring this up because I wanted to know how to have those conversations without influencing their decision either, because the last thing that I want them to think is like oh, we, we have to vote for this and we have to like. That's not the case. They're more than welcome to form their own opinions and have their own thought processes, and I want to encourage that form of freedom too, because that's what a democracy is supposed to be. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think as long as you're not making it your identity, then it's not something that your kids are going to be like seeing Influencing in that way.
Speaker 3:That's a good way to put it, right, yeah, well and not physically doing that Like.
Speaker 2:I had a similar conversation with my mom over lunch where I was talking, we got into politics a bit and I was telling her um, I was telling her because I'll be likely voting liberal in this election and she was like man, like I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know if I didn't vote conservative, your grandmother would roll over in a grave. I was like, so she's dead. Yeah, and she's still very much affecting how you will alive. Vote for your current government Like that's so twisted right.
Speaker 2:Like this is a person who's no longer on this planet and they're affecting how you're going to vote for your government that runs your life like that's ass backwards right, and that is the polarization of if you're on that side, you're, you shouldn't even be in the country like this is a completely different government than your government 10 years ago, even right like talking to older generations, where I think a lot of this started, where it was very this side or this side. These are different humans my.
Speaker 3:I remember having a conversation with my grandmother, god rest his soul. I like, for those of you who don't know I spend a crazy amount of time with this lady. We would have dinner together and she would say I'm not gonna vote or tell you who to vote for, but if it's not red, you might as well be dead that's haunting kind of joking, but not really exactly. Then you get out of the booth and you walk up and she's like did you win your vote?
Speaker 3:you're never gonna know, graham, what one are we voting for the red one you're never gonna know grant.
Speaker 4:What one are we voting for? The red one? Yep, I think for me, like I've tried, because I get really fired up about certain things, so like for a long time I would get really fired up about like political stuff I'm seeing in my algorithm, but like for me I'm just trying to understand that like we're all kind of a victim of our algorithms yeah, right in a way yeah so like it makes it easier for me to just be like, at the end of the day, I know who you are, I know who you are like, yeah, right, I know you guys.
Speaker 4:Yeah, how you vote doesn't really change that I might have more questions for someone, uh, based on how they vote. But like it doesn't change how I feel about you, right, and I'm not going to allow it to so. But like I think you can have good conversations with someone who isn't voting the same way as you and say like, if, if, something to do with human rights is like the reason why you're voting liberal for, like, let's just say, and someone you love is voting opposite of you. Like, just have the conversation. Like, if this happens, are you going to go, uh, join the fight with me and like, right, fight back against, like taking human rights away from certain people, because that's what I need to know. Right, like that's how we're going to be cool.
Speaker 2:That's the character part of it Exactly.
Speaker 4:Yeah, because that's what I really care about. So it's like those you can have.
Speaker 3:I've we've talked a lot about it, a lot, but like you need to be able to have those conversations, yes, absolutely, and for it not to destroy relationships 100% and I think the key component there is the ability to have the conversation and going into it knowing that there really isn't a right or wrong, like there isn't. There isn't a this isn't a yes or no type of conversation, it's opinion based.
Speaker 3:The beauty about it is the respect that I have for the three of you in this room is deeper than some sort of opinion that I've developed over the last couple of years that very well can change in the next three or four years.
Speaker 1:Well, and even the way that our politics here in Canada are put together. We very much have a three party system and if one party, it's been rare for one party to get a majority of the house, so they very much have to work in cooperation with the other governments. Um, there's been an aspect to that which I appreciate about our country. Um, but one funny thing that I was going to say, because we're talking about how do we talk about it with our kids, and I was driving to get dinner with my oldest and middle child, so 12 and 10, and they see all the signs out on the road now and I was like all right, fun, fun, like fun. Question like who do you think has the best name?
Speaker 4:like if you're, if you're voting based on name.
Speaker 1:Who are you voting?
Speaker 4:for which color?
Speaker 2:let's judge them based on name alone.
Speaker 1:No, don't teach people how to vote like that I mean if you're taking that advice the next generation don't go to the polls but it's kind of like deciding which co-author group home hardware you're gonna go to.
Speaker 2:You look at the names. You got bridge Bridge, North Coboconk, Lakefield, Lindsay, Millbrook. You got options.
Speaker 3:I bet you all those towns are conservative.
Speaker 2:Probably Rural Ontario. It'll get you, but thank you, quarth Group Home Hardware. We are not involving you in a political conversation, so all we'll say is thank you.
Speaker 3:And that was the last time they ever sponsored our podcast. Dumb dubs and regal ideas made in China.
Speaker 4:So is anything else.
Speaker 2:I just like stir in the pot. Delete that, delete that Made in Canada.
Speaker 1:It's made in Canada, canadian company. It literally says that's one of the most proud things that they advocate for.
Speaker 2:Canadian made, not made in Canada because they own the factory.
Speaker 3:I don't think there's any saving this.
Speaker 2:No it's okay. Can we shelf this episode? Well, well.
Speaker 3:Already.
Speaker 1:I've been afraid saving this like.
Speaker 4:No, it's okay, shelf this episode well already I've been afraid of a lot of what I've said, where I'm just trying to bring up conversation and I'm like someone's gonna be pissed off with what I said.
Speaker 3:I'm like. This whole show is a walking red flag for me every time we record something and I drive home in fear and I'm like I'm I'm never going to be allowed out in public again.